"Things that have been easy suddenly become difficult to impossible to
accomplish. Give yourself lots of time to readjust to the new status quo
and don't do anything before you are ready."
I was paralyzed from the waist down for several years in my thirties.
The tips below came from my own hard, slow work to regain my mobility,
and the common experiences of many disabled clients in similar
situations. They will help you understand what might be happening in
your mind, body and social life, moving you along the road to living
normally with your disability as soon as possible.
When a person is newly disabled by accident, illness or genetics, a host
of physical, emotional and social changes present themselves. Most of
these changes are things no one can truly prepare for. There are
suddenly no usual routines, no guidelines in how to proceed with
success.
Newly disabled people can feel frightened, abandoned and without
direction as pain and loss often dominate their recovery. These feelings
can derail further growth and progress into a new, functional and
successful life.
It is my hope that the following tips will help you see your justifiable
feelings, new experiences and the situations that can arise from sudden
disability don't have to be the end of the world. From unable to do all
the things you could before your disability, see yourself Differently
Able to do whatever you can Dream...
1. Expect an emotional reaction at your change in status from an "able"
person to a disabled person.
Anger, frustration and resentment are common feelings when abilities are
taken away. Use the energy of these emotions to transform the negative
to positive and get active in powering forward your recovery effort. If
you find you can't get past the worst of the negative emotions, don't
hesitate to avail yourself of counseling, stress reduction methods or
other help. Most hospitals and social service agencies provide groups to
help the newly disabled.
2. Expect others to react differently to you than they did before the
onset of your disability.
Most of the time people want to say and do the right thing, but our
society does not prepare us adequately to handle the trauma of another's
disability. Reach out to your family, friends and acquaintances and
encourage them to treat you as normally as they did before the onset of
your disability.
3. Expect changes in your energy level and the way your body and mind
work together.
Things that have been easy suddenly become difficult to impossible to
accomplish. Give yourself lots of time to readjust to the new status quo
and don't do anything before you are ready. Despite how you might feel,
this is no time to hermit up. Avail yourself of all the support you can
get. What creative ways can you think of to accomplish the same goals
differently and if possible, independently
4. Expect governmental and organizational indifference and delays,
sometimes from the very medical personnel, agencies and individuals
meant to help you.
Aid your success in dealing with bureaucracy by keeping meticulous
records of each contact with the agency or individual and reminding them
of your needs and their agency's commitment to you. Remember: the
squeaky wheel gets the grease. Make a firm but polite pest of yourself
and you will be served correctly, more of the time.
5. Expect co-workers to potentially feel uncomfortable with you.
Some newly disabled people lose their jobs. If you are still able to do
the work for which you were hired, it is illegal for your employer to
fire you. You have rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act
(ADA) - get to know what they are and use them. Take this opportunity to
educate your workplace on the subject of disabilities, and yours in
particular.
6. SSI (the governmental Social Security disability benefit) is not a
free ride.
Most disabled people find SSI and pension checks little enough to pay
their bills and rent. You will have to generate secondary sources of
income and be creative about doing it. What skills or talents do you
have that can be used in new ways? Coaching or career counseling can
often help broaden the range of options available to you.
7. As a newly disabled person, you may find yourself inundated with
offers for work-at-home schemes which may or may not deal with you
honestly.
Some of these schemes can be lucrative for the dedicated worker, while
others are directly dishonest and usurious. Protect yourself by checking
out any potential employer for longevity in the workplace and worker
satisfaction. Talk to others who have worked there six months or more
about their experience with that particular employer.
8. Depending on the severity of your disability, you may need a care
team.
This team should ideally consist of people who are favorably disposed
towards you to begin with, such as family members and willing friends.
If you must hire someone to care for you, check into their background as
thoroughly as possible. Often the disabled are taken advantage of by
unscrupulous care staff.
9. When you are given the gift of a disability, it does not diminish you
as much as you might initially think.
When one door closes, many others are opened. A blind man's sense of
hearing sharpens to hear a pin drop 100 meters away; a quadriplegic
develops extraordinary sensitivity in her facial skin that enables her
to "feel" colors. See the opportunities that are available to you now
that you could never see as a more able person. The world is waiting and
the possibilities are limitless. What future will you choose
10. Nothing is impossible.
Well, almost nothing. While you may never have a new pair of kidneys or
be able to re-grow a limb you have lost, almost everything you dreamed
of doing before your disability can still be possible. You just may have
to modify quite a bit to achieve it. Dont let anything stand in your way
and don't fall prey to blaming and self-pity. You are the only person
who can get you from the depths of despair to all the success you want
in life. Go for it!
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