4e642796   
   XPost: alt.politics.homosexuality, alt.atheism, alt.gossip.celebrities   
   XPost: alt.california   
   From: kelseyb@lgisp.net   
      
   [snips]   
      
   On Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:51:18 -0800, smilewhenyousaythat wrote:   
      
   > Free Gift!   
      
   This phrase is redundant; gifts are, by definition, free; if you have to   
   pay for it, it's not a gift.   
      
      
   > Is there a way to eternal life?   
      
   Based on some 3.8 billion years of recorded evidence, the answer is yes -   
   simply be "born" a hydra.   
      
   > If there was, wouldn't you really want to know?   
      
   Not really, as to a conscious entity, immortality would be the absolute   
   worse imaginable horror one could possibly inflict upon them - making one   
   wonder, as a result, why so many religious people seem to think   
   immortality would be a *good* thing.  Then again, many of them can look   
   at an entity whose two major feats seem to have been condemning his   
   entire creation to eternal torture, and wiping out virtually all living   
   things on a planet, and consider such a being the ultimate source of   
   love, so it's little wonder they regard this fresh, new horror as a good   
   thing.   
      
      
   > Not all roads lead to God   
      
   Since God is, according to the story, omnipresent, then yes, all roads do   
   lead to God.  Well, apart from the fact there's no reason to think he   
   exists, that is.   
      
   > and by now you may have discovered life is   
   > not as simple as you once thought.   
      
   Simple or complex, it in no manner benefits from the addition of   
   imaginary friends and the reduction or removal of reason.   
      
   > For those who are at this crossroad,   
   > the Bible offers a new direction, one filled with purpose, fulfillment,   
   > and acceptance   
      
   Actually, it doesn't.  It offers a decent into superstition, an   
   abdication from one's personal duty to better the world for others of the   
   species - and other species - and, based on observed application, it   
   actively detracts from the ability to reason.  Well, okay, I guess that   
   *does* qualify as "a new direction" but why anyone would want to take it   
   isn't made clear.   
      
   > Recognize that you are a sinner.   
      
   Sorry, I'm not.  Sin is a religious concept and I'm not religious.   
      
   > You must admit your spiritual need   
      
   The only "spiritual need" I have is companionship, in the form of family,   
   friends, loved ones.  I have that.  No need for imaginary friends.   
      
   > Recognize that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you.   
      
   Actually, it's not even certain Jesus existed *at all*.  Even if we   
   assume he did, there's no reason to assume he died on the cross, nor, if   
   he did, that he did so "for us".  While a convenient tale for those   
   trying to push their pet agenda, the story has enough holes to drive an   
   entire fleet of buses through.   
      
   > “For Christ also   
   > suffered once for our sins   
      
   I've dealt with this silliness of the supposed suffering of Jesus   
   elsewhere, so I'll not go through it again.  I'll simply point out that,   
   based on comparative lifespans, bearing in mind Jesus (according to the   
   tale) *is* God, and thus must be at least some 14 billion years old, the   
   equivalent suffering in human terms is so short that the nerve signals   
   would not even have time to register.  If this is all it takes to   
   supposedly save us all, then sign me up.  Hell, sign me up 200 times a   
   day.  Don't even bother telling me, as I won't even notice.  Good, I'm   
   now the new saviour, 200 times a day - do I get a cookie?   
      
   Of course not, it's all nonsense.  What's even more silly about it is   
   that Jesus supposedly died to save us.  Oh?  From what?  Ah, yes, from   
   God's judgement.  From God showing his "love" by condemning us all to   
   eternal agony, for a supposed crime - getting an education! - that we   
   weren't even the ones committing.   
      
   Wait, let's do that one again: Jesus, who is God, died to save us from   
   his *own* actions, actions which are to express his love by punishing us   
   for all eternity with fire and torture and agony, all for someone else's   
   actions - the action of getting an education.   
      
   I'm sorry, were we supposed to take this crap seriously?  No, really, you   
   don't see the fundamental stupidity of the story?   
      
      
   > us to God…” (1 Peter 3:18) Jesus paid the price for our sin.   
      
   No, he didn't.  'Sides, I've taken over that role, and where he did it   
   once, 2,000 years ago, I'm now doing it 200 times a day.  How can I   
   tell?  Easy - I can't feel a thing.  (No, that makes no sense; therefore   
   you should accept it as absolutely true, given that the other stuff you   
   seem to treat as true makes no sense.)   
      
   > The Apostle   
   > Paul said, “…the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in   
   > the Son of God   
      
   Silly, uneducated bugger, wasn't he?  Maybe if he'd got himself an   
   education he'd know he lived by conversion of food to energy.  If anyone   
   buys this "I live by faith" line, I challenge them to do exactly that:   
   spend a month, say, living by faith.  No food, no water, no vitamin   
   supplements, nothing, just faith.  I'll be over here, watching, scarfing   
   down a cheeseburger.   
      
      
   > Repent of your sins.   
      
   If I had any, I might.   
      
      
   > (Acts 3:19) God commands us to repent. You must be willing to turn away   
   > from the things that displease God.   
      
   Sorry, but since nobody seems to have managed to produce any objective   
   evidence that God even exists, trying to figure out what, exactly, he   
   actually wants is going to be a problem.  The few written works we have   
   which might be relevant can't be trusted;  one in particular tells us   
   that gays should be stoned to death, but that one of the most holy of men   
   tossed his virgin daughters out to be gang-raped by a mob.  Such   
   conflicting views of the fundamental worth of a human being simply cannot   
   be reconciled without external, objective input... so how about you go   
   find God and we'll ask him directly.  Until then, you'll excuse us if we   
   don't buy your assertions about what God does and doesn't like.   
      
      
   > Receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior.   
      
   No, no, *I* am the saviour now, remember?   
      
   > Jesus said, “Come to Me   
      
   Funny, that's what Jenna Jameson said.  Or was that "come *on* me"?   
   Either way.   
      
      
   >, all who   
   > are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”   
      
   Er... according to the tale, the guy died 2,000 years ago; how is he   
   going to give anyone anything?  Well, he might give an archaeologist a   
   woody, I suppose.   
      
   > (Matthew 11:28) It   
   > is essential to come to Jesus just as you are.   
      
   I'm naked.  I thought being naked in public was frowned upon by you folk.   
      
      
   > Don’t try to “clean up   
   > your life”   
      
   Clean it up?  Are you kidding?  I'm trying to get it messier.  We need   
   another wench, so we can add some girl-girl and three-way fun to our   
   lives.  For starters.  Couples also considered.  Clean it up?  Gah,   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)