From: queer54@hotmail.com   
      
   I have to ask the same question, is this an anti-suicide group, or a   
   pro-suicide group (or at least NOT an anti-suicide group)?   
      
   To be open, I feel, strongly at that, that suicide is in fact a legitimate   
   choice, and is solely up to the individual who is going through the motions to   
   end their life.  Since my first experience with suicide when I was a teenager   
   (my then-boyfriend    
   hanged himself on, of all days, his 16th birthday, and I tried to hang myself   
   three days later, just a couple of hours after attending his funeral), I've   
   always thought of suicide as "my right to end my life, when I want to end it,   
   and to end it on my    
   terms and in my chosen way".   So, if I didn't think suicide was a "legitimate   
   choice", I'd be a hypocrite.  Would I encourage anyone to take their own   
   life?  No!  Would I try to talk them out of killing themselves?  I won't say I   
   would, but I won't say    
   I wouldn't.  If they tried and failed for whatever reason, I would, given my   
   own frame of mind, admire and even praise them for having the courage of their   
   convictions, even though they weren't successful.  If they successfully took   
   their own lives, I    
   would be, and have been, envious.     
      
   Saying all that, as I said, I came across this group and started to read   
   through all the topics.  Going by the title, I wondered if this was a group to   
   offer support to survivors of suicide attempts, not that I'm personally   
   looking for support for my    
   failed attempts.  Then I started to read through a lot of the topics.   Aside   
   from the numerous postings about suicide in the American armed forces, and   
   given the advertisements for suicide drugs, and some of the more off-the-wall   
   comments, I wonder if    
   this group isn't to support those who attempted suicide and failed, but more,   
   it's support for those like me who failed, and am giving serious thought to   
   attempting again, stopping short of actually encouraging someone like me to   
   get my act together and    
   just do it, make the commitment, stand on the stool, slip the noose around my   
   neck, then tip the stool over and end my life.  Without anyone interfering,   
   it'll all be over in no more than thirty minutes.     
      
   In recent years, since 2014, I've lost seven friends who decided enough was   
   enough, and all chose to quit life when they hanged themselves.  Two did it on   
   a New Year's Eve, one on December 31st, 2015, while the other hanged himself   
   on December 31st, 2018.   
     All but one suffered neck dislocations, deemed to be their actual "cause of   
   death".  Like me, all seven had a long history of multiple attempts.  Were   
   there any "signals" that any of them were going to end their lives?  You could   
   say there were lots.     
   Trouble is, being suicidal, and having suicidal friends, we all would sit and   
   discuss the merits of ending our lives now, as we wanted to.  There would be   
   daily contact, meet for coffee, go for a drink, until, one day, after such a   
   get-together, a friend    
   would return to his apartment, and a couple of hours later, he would be found   
   hanged.  Out of the blue?  Yes and no!  No, in that we would discuss things   
   for weeks with nobody making the decision to end it.  Yes, in what would be   
   considered to be "the    
   right moment", the friend would stand on a chair or stool, slip a noose around   
   his neck, then he would force-tip the stool or chair to hang himself.  As I   
   said, six dislocated their necks.  Of late, two friends and I have been   
   discussing about when the    
   right moment is for us to end it.  Myself, the thoughts have been strong of   
   late.  I feel it's time to get serious about my end.  Why stick around?    
   There's no real reason.  I've seen and experienced all I care to see and   
   experience, and given what I am    
   seeing today, I don't really care to see and experience any more.     
      
   Like I asked, is this a support group for someone who attempted to take their   
   own life, and they need some encouragement to keep going, or is it a group   
   that understands the reasons, and wants to help someone with that ultimate   
   decision?      
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)