XPost: alt.politics.usa, alt.politics.democrats, alt.fan.barbra.streisand   
   XPost: alt.fan.j-garofalo   
   From: rlewis@N0SPAM.0RG   
      
   WMD FOUND! LIBERALS ARE NOW WORRIED!   
      
      
   WMD FOUND IN SADDAM’S BEARD   
      
   Bush: Whiskers No Longer a Threat to U.S.   
      
   The search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq came to an end   
   today as U.S. military officials found chemical, biological and   
   nuclear weapons hidden in the scraggly beard of former Iraqi dictator   
   Saddam Hussein.   
      
   The Iraqi madman had instructed his weapons scientists to create the   
   WMD in microscopic form so that he could carry them around on his   
   person at all times, the officials said.   
      
   U.S. General Ricardo Sanchez said that the discovery of WMD nestled in   
   Saddam’s unkempt facial hair closes the book on one of Operation Iraqi   
   Freedom’s most enduring mysteries.   
      
   "Now we know why we never found the weapons of mass destruction,"   
   General Sanchez told reporters. "We never dreamed they were tiny   
   enough to be hidden on someone’s face."   
      
   The general added that Saddam was capable of launching his deadly   
   weapons cache merely by shaking his head.   
      
   After he was captured, Saddam received a shave and a haircut from the   
   Halliburton Company, who charged the former dictator the entire   
   $750,000 he had in his possession.   
      
   The deadly beard was then stored in an airtight container and   
   transferred to a U.S. military laboratory in Wiesbaden, Germany for   
   future study.   
      
   At a press conference in Washington, President Bush praised the   
   military for removing Saddam’s lethal beard once and for all.   
      
   "Thanks to the efforts of our coalition, Saddam Hussein’s whiskers   
   will no longer harbor the world’s deadliest weapons," Mr. Bush said.   
      
   Later in his press conference, the President revealed that U.S. forces   
   found Saddam after receiving a tip from Tikrit that there was an ass   
   in a hole in the ground.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)