XPost: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, alt.fan.barbra.streisand, alt.fan.j-garofalo   
   XPost: alt.fan.julia-roberts   
   From: hpgoldfinger@N0SPAM.C0M   
      
   You Might be Leland Milton Goldblatt PhD If . . .   
      
      
      
      
   You Might be Leland Milton Goldblatt PhD If . . .   
      
      
   -You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than   
   Osama bin Laden   
      
   -You think President Bush lied to the nation but his predecessor did   
   not.   
      
   -You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold   
   Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie   
   Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and   
   Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign   
   policy.   
      
   -You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities   
   can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.   
      
   -You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot   
   Missile.   
      
   -You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were   
   fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.   
      
   -You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons,   
   but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public   
   schools.   
      
   -You support every kind of "diversity" on campus, except political   
   orientation.   
      
   -You support banning the smoking of tobacco and legalizing marijuana.   
      
   -You are enraged by the so-called mistreatment of Muslim prisoners   
   (who have gained weight while dining on their specially prepared   
   Koran-approved meals) at Guantanamo Bay, but believe the world should   
   have stood idly by while Saddam Hussein filled mass graves.   
      
   -You have found where the right to an abortion is written in the   
   Constitution but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a   
   right to keep and bear arms.   
      
   -You support campus speech codes that ban pick-up lines and amorous   
   gazes, but never spoke out against President Clinton's physical sexual   
   harassment in the White House.   
      
   -You applauded Jimmy Carter for talking about human rights in foreign   
   policy but opposed George W. Bush for doing something about human   
   rights.   
      
   -You believe that trial lawyers taking 33 to 40 percent of a   
   plaintiff's recovery in lawsuits is just about right, but the federal   
   government taking this amount of our income in taxes is not nearly   
   enough.   
      
   -You believe the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827   
   people is more than adequately experienced to be President in 2004,   
   but the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people was   
   completely unprepared in 2000.   
      
   -You agree with Toni Morrison that President Clinton was "the first   
   black President," but didn't criticize Al Sharpton for recently   
   labeling President Bush a "gang leader."   
      
   -You believe we could get more truth out of the Pentagon if only Don   
   Rumsfeld were replaced by Mohammed Al-Sahhaf.   
      
   -You believe evangelical Christians are destroying America but don't   
   feel threatened by the radical Wahabbi sect of Islam.   
      
   -When it comes to violent crime, you believe in hating the crime but   
   loving the criminal.   
      
   -You support unlimited appeals for convicted criminals, but believed   
   it was undemocratic for Californians to reverse their earlier mistake   
   of electing Gray Davis.   
      
   -You believe U.S. exports of genetically modified foods pose a greater   
   threat to African nations than corrupt dictators like Zimbabwe's   
   Mugabe.   
      
   -You believe welfare is a fundamental human right and workfare is a   
   human rights violation.   
      
   -You believe religion is a scourge on our society, but becoming one   
   with Mother Nature by merging with the universal consciousness and   
   harmonizing with lunar reverberations will save us.   
      
   -You believe President Bush is an environmental criminal for poisoning   
   the water with arsenic, but have never complained about Saddam   
   Hussein's devastating Iraq and Kuwait's environment by setting   
   intentional oil well fires and committing genocide against the Marsh   
   Arabs by draining their wetlands.   
      
   -Your car sports the bumper sticker saying that "it will be a great   
   day when our schools have all the money they need and the military has   
   to hold bake sales," but oppose allowing the U.S. military to   
   volunteer recruitment tables on college campuses because of their   
   "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)