XPost: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, alt.fan.barbra.streisand, alt.fan.j-garofalo   
   XPost: alt.fan.julia-roberts   
   From: hpgoldfinger@N0SPAM.C0M   
      
   The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook For Leland Milton   
   Goldblatt PhD:   
      
   1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of   
   federal funding.   
      
   2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th   
   graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids   
   about sex.   
      
   3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans   
   are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands   
   of Chinese and North Korean communists.   
      
   4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.   
      
   5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by   
   cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected   
   by soccer moms driving SUVs.   
      
   6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being   
   homosexual is natural.   
      
   7. You have to be against capital punishment for criminals, even   
   murderers, but support abortion on demand.   
      
   8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and   
   governments create prosperity.   
      
   9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony   
   activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.   
      
   10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than   
   actually doing something to earn it.   
      
   11. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start   
   wars.   
      
   12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain   
   parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports   
   certain parts of the Constitution.   
      
   13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too   
   high.   
      
   14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are   
   more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert   
   E.Lee and Thomas Edison.   
      
   15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial   
   quotas and set-asides are not.   
      
   16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and really a   
   very nice person.   
      
   17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked   
   anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in   
   charge.   
      
   18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in   
   jail, but a draft-dodging liar and sex offender belonged in the White   
   House.   
      
   19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,   
   transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and   
   manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.   
      
   20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the   
   Chinese government is somehow in the best interests of the United   
   States.   
      
   21. You have to refuse to discuss the issues in a rational manner and   
   whenever someone attempts to do so, throw a 3 ring tantrum, rant and   
   rave, go into a lunatic rage and outshout them (preferably with   
   profanity and name-calling) and stick to personal slurs, smear   
   tactics, slander and building strawmen so you can knock down the   
   strawmen (oops, sorry, strawpersons) and hopefully sidetrack the   
   conversation away from your lack of ability to support your position.   
      
   22. You must always ignore the message and attack the messenger. When   
   stuck, remember the tactic that won't reveal your inability to think   
   or say anything original: smugly change a couple of your adversaries   
   words' and repeat their comments back to them verbatim and even if it   
   isn't true, by all means always   
   be sure to accuse your opponents of using the very tactics the   
   Leftwing Liberals try to hide, remembering all the while that Lenin   
   would be proud.   
      
   23. No matter how credible a source may be - always do your Leftwing   
   Liberal duty and rabidly claim it's been debunked and discredited and   
   call anyone who believes it "mean spirited", crazy, a Nazi or any   
   other of the monikers from the Leftwing Liberal grab bag of infantile   
   epithets and sarcastic sobriquets.   
      
   24. Whenever demonstrated facts don't agree with your agenda, twist   
   them and mangle them until you can make them fit into your prejudices,   
   the media will assist you greatly.   
      
   25. Once you've told a lie or slandered someone, be sure to repeat it   
   as often as possible until it becomes true. "Members and front   
   organizations must continually embarrass, discredit and degrade our   
   critics. When obstructionists become too irritating, label them as   
   fascist, or Nazi or anti-Semitic .... The association will, after   
   enough repetition, become "fact" in the public mind." [ ~ Communist   
   Party, Moscow Central Committee, 1943]   
      
   26. You have to believe that all spirituality and all religions except   
   Islam are bad.   
      
   27. You have to use the following buzzwords as often as possible:   
   "Nazi", "Hitler", "Gestapo", "police state", "totalitarian state",   
   "imperialism", "imperialist", "greedy corporations", "shrub",   
   "fascist", "paranoid", "goose-stepping", "ruling-class",   
   "class-strife", "class warfare", "stolen election", "racist",   
   "entitlements", "hate", "bourgeois" or better yet, "petty bourgeois",   
   "counter-revolutionary", "progressive", "red-baiter",   
   "anti-Communist", "deviationist", "revisionist", "reactionary",   
   "multiculturalism", "oppressed", "victims of Yankee oppression",   
   "plight of the [fill in the blank] people", "mean-spirited",   
   "McCarthyism", "jingoism", "flag-wavers", "neocons" and, of course,   
   overuse of the indispensable "F"   
   word.   
      
   28. You have to believe that there were never any weapons of mass   
   destruction in Iraq, even though they were used against Iran, the   
   Kurds and the the Iraqi people and even though the many Democrats   
   warned us about WMD before the Iraqi invasion: William Jefferson   
   Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Sandy Berger, Madeline Albright, Senators   
   Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, Robert Byrd, Jay Rockefeller, John Kerry, Bob   
   Graham, Ted Kennedy, Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman and   
   vice-president Al Gore to name only the most vociferous.   
      
   29. You have to be a purveyor of perennial pessimism and a dispatcher   
   of doomsday gloom and hyperbolic hysteria whenever you can work some   
   scare tactics into the foreboding warnings of eventual catastrophe at   
   the hands of your adversaries, i.e. people who disagree with you.   
      
   30. Whenever possible, if you hear or read something that seems quite   
   logical and might influence someone against the Leftwing Liberal   
   viewpoint, be sure to pounce on the exception or some tiny,   
   inconsequential irrelevancy, such as the misspelling, poor punctuation   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)