XPost: alt.fan.barbra.streisand, alt.fan.j-garofalo, alt.fan.julia-roberts   
   XPost: alt.politics.democrats   
   From: ltfp@N0SPAM.C0M   
      
   WHERE IS MICHAEL MOORE?  And How About Those Flying Monkeys?   
      
   Drudge   
   DEVELOPING:   
      
   Controversial Film-Maker Michael Moore was admitted to a local area   
   Hospital at approximately 11:50 pm Eastern last night and is being   
   treated for a "severe gastric condition" according to a Beth Israel   
   Hospital spokesperson, Moores' condition is listed as "stable", but no   
   official information was given.   
      
   Moore, was visiting friend in the Flint area and watching the election   
   returns late Wednesday night when he complained of feeling "cold" and   
   clammy with abdominal pains."   
      
   Responding E.M.T's  quickly unbuckled the 400+ pound film-maker's   
   pants as a swarm of flying monkeys came rushing out of Moore's butt.   
      
   "There were far too many to count." said one E.M.T. "The room was   
   instantly filled with the diminutive winged chimpanzees until one   
   quick thinking guest threw a chair through one of the windows giving   
   the air-born primates an egress.   
      
   "We tried to get him on a stretcher, but a few were still tumbling out   
   here and there, so we had to load him face down."   
      
   The rescue crew made the trip to the Hospital with the rear-doors open   
   as several dozen more flying monkeys emerged and took to the skies.   
      
   Back at Beth Israel Hospital, the Staff is buzzing about the bizarre   
   nature of the episode, having never seen such a case, experts from   
   across the country have been consulted and all agree that the best   
   course of action for now is to let the phenomenon run it's course.   
      
   --   
   FLINT NATIVES IRATE....   
      
   Not -all- Flint residents are Michael Moore fans. As distressing   
   developments come to light during Moores' recent visit to Flint, area   
   hunters and gun enthusiasts dealing with the unpleasant reality of a   
   plague of flying Monkeys, said to have emanated from Michael Moores'   
   butt.   
      
   "I shot fourteen of them this morning." Said nodding to a pile of the   
   furry prehensile-tailed creatures wearing what appeared to be little   
   red jackets embroidered with gold trim. Many were wearing tasseled   
   Fez-hats, a few of the hats lay nearby, were they fell.   
      
   Victor Young" who owns and operates a Maple Syrup Farm on the   
   outskirts of Flint said. "I been shooting crows and Ravens out here   
   all my life, but I never seen a damned flying Monkey except on the   
   Wizard of OZ, Young said as he drew a bead on one of the simians   
   perched atop a fence post, the Monkey had defecated in one hand and   
   was preparing to hurl it at Young, when the tree farmer squeezed off a   
   12 gauge slug that sent the monkey toppling backward in a spray of   
   pink mist and fur. "Make that 15  so far this morning Young added."   
      
   Scientists and medical experts are studying the phenomenon of these   
   creatures, nobody recalls such a case and hopes here are that the   
   problem will diminish over time. The winged creatures were spotted all   
   over the   
   Flint area today, some perched on telephone poles, others wreaking   
   havoc, snapping car antennas and knocking over dustbins in a rude   
   manner.   
      
   One Flint Native just "Wishes that they would follow Moore back to   
   N.Y.C  -"where they belong."   
      
   -DEVELOPING.   
      
   The STAFF wishes Mr. Moore a speedy recovery.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)