XPost: alt.fan.barbra.streisand, alt.fan.j-garofalo, alt.fan.julia-roberts   
   XPost: alt.politics.democrats   
   From: griffen78@N0SPAM.C0M   
      
   Commandments for Leftwing Liberals!!!!!!!   
      
   How to be a Good Leftwing Liberal   
      
   1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of   
   federal funding.   
      
   2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th   
   graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids   
   about sex.   
      
   3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans   
   are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands   
   of Chinese and North Korean communists.   
      
   4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.   
      
   5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by   
   cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected   
   by soccer moms driving SUVs.   
      
   6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being   
   homosexual is natural.   
      
   7. You have to be against capital punishment for criminals, even   
   murderers, but support abortion on demand.   
      
   8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and   
   governments create prosperity.   
      
   9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony   
   activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.   
      
   10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than   
   actually doing something to earn it.   
      
   11. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start   
   wars.   
      
   12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain   
   parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports   
   certain parts of the Constitution.   
      
   13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too   
   high.   
      
   14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are   
   more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert   
   E.Lee and Thomas Edison.   
      
   15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial   
   quotas and set-asides are not.   
      
   16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and really a   
   very nice person.   
      
   17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked   
   anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in   
   charge.   
      
   18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in   
   jail, but a draft-dodging liar and sex offender belonged in the White   
   House.   
      
   19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,   
   transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and   
   manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.   
      
   20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the   
   Chinese government is somehow in the best interests of the United   
   States.   
      
   21. You have to refuse to discuss the issues in a rational manner and   
   whenever someone attempts to do so, outshout them (preferably with   
   profanity and name-calling) and stick to personal slurs, smear   
   tactics, slander and building strawmen so you can knock down the   
   strawpersons and hopefully sidetrack the conversation.   
      
   22. You have to always ignore the message and attack the messenger.   
   When stuck, change a couple of your adversaries words' and repeat   
   their comments back to them verbatim and by all means always be sure   
   to accuse your opponents of using the very tactics used by the   
   Leftwing Liberals, remembering all the while that Lenin would be   
   proud.   
      
   23. No matter how credible a source may be always claim it's been   
   discredited and call anyone who believes it "mean spirited" and crazy.   
      
   24. Whenever demonstrated facts don't agree with your agenda, twist   
   them and mangle them until you can make them fit into your prejudices,   
   the media will assist you greatly.   
      
   25. Once you've told a lie or slandered someone, be sure to repeat it   
   as often as possible until it becomes true. "Members and front   
   organizations must continually embarrass, discredit and degrade our   
   critics. When   
   obstructionists become too irritating, label them as fascist, or Nazi   
   or anti-Semitic .... The association will, after enough repetition,   
   become "fact" in the public mind." [ ~ Communist Party, Moscow Central   
   Committee, 1943]   
      
   26. You have to believe that all sprirituality and all religions   
   except Islam are bad.   
      
   27. You have to use the following buzzwords as often as possible:   
   "Nazi", "Hitler", "police state", "imperialism", "imperialist",   
   "greedy corporations", "shrub", "fascist", "stolen election",   
   "racist",   
   "entitlements" "plight of the [fill in the blank] peoples,   
   mean-spirited and, of course, overuse of the indispensible "F" word.   
      
   28. You have to believe that there were never any weapons of mass   
   destruction in Iraq, even though they were used against Iran, the   
   Kurds and the the Iraqi people and even though the many Democrats   
   warned us about WMD before the Iraqi invasion: William Jefferson   
   Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Sandy Berger, Madeline Albright, Senators   
   Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, Robert Byrd, Jay Rockefeller, John Kerry, Bob   
   Graham, Ted Kennedy, Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman and   
   vice-president Al Gore to name only the most vociferous.   
      
   29. You have to be a purveyor of perennial pessimism and a dispatcher   
   of doomsday gloom and hyperbolic hysteria whenever you can work some   
   scare tactics into the foreboding warnings of eventual catastrophe at   
   the hands of your adversaries, i.e. people who disagree with you.   
      
   30. Whenever possible, if you hear or read something that seems quite   
   logical and might influence someone against the Liberal viewpoint, be   
   sure to find some tiny, inconsequential irrelevancy, such as the   
   misspelling or mispronunciation of a word, unusual facial expression,   
   article of clothing or some morsel of arcane trivia to attempt to   
   derail the conversation into petty bickering replete with name-calling   
   and personal slurs. [Use of the "F" word is particularly effective,   
   especially when combined with prepubescent profanity and puerile   
   posturing.]   
      
   31. Always have unkind and accusatory slurs cocked and ready to use   
   regarding any armed forces personnel other than your own candidates,   
   sell-outs, turncoats, traitors and those who are guilty of or advocate   
   treason.   
      
   32. When your adversary presents a particularly damning discovery,   
   pervert it, twist it around, accuse him of something he didn't say,   
   falsely attribute your invention to him and then proceed to argue   
   against your own creation with the hope nobody will notice.   
      
   33. You have to remember that nobody but your adversaries, real or   
   imagined are ever to blame for anything and no one should ever be   
   accountable or held responsible for their words or actions - they're   
   just misunderstood.   
      
   34. You have to be a victim of as many things as possible and be ever   
   vigilant to promote victimization of almost anything and anyone   
   although that's very difficult to reconcile with the assertion that   
   nobody's to blame for anything, except the people who don't agree with   
   you.   
      
   35. You must always have double standards, a higher standard that you   
   demand of people you don't like and people who don't agree with you   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)