XPost: alt.flame, alt.flame.jesus.christ, alt.support.depression.flame   
   From: Jesus-Pooped-In-His-Loincloth@Church-Last-Sunday.org   
      
   In alt.flame.jesus.christ, Pope Rudraigh said...   
      
   > On Wed, 05 Jan 2005 19:21:21 GMT, not@nomail.com wrote:   
   >   
   > >On Thu, 23 Dec 2004 00:10:32 GMT, "Mothergodwacker"    
   wrote:   
      
   > >>>>>>   
   > >>>>>> You make things up and believe them.   
   > >>>>   
   > >>>>ROTFLMAOPMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This, from an xtian!!!!!!!!!   
   > >>>>I never thought they were capable of irony!   
   > >>>   
   > >>> Well ... not intentionally.   
   > >>   
   > >>True, true, too bad few people spot this.......maybe there would be fewer   
   > >>believers.......   
   > >   
   > >Maybe you'll believe in Jesus when he kicks your ass.   
   >   
   > Now *there's* a fine xtian sentiment!   
      
   Typos. He really meant to type "kisses your ass"....since we all know   
   that Jesus was really the King of the Queens! Why do you think that   
   Jesus kept washing guy's feet from the rear? And he only liked to was   
   men's feet. A contemporary example for us today is Michael Jackson. He   
   wants to help all the poor little kiddies in the world, but the only   
   kids he has for "sleep overs" in the same be with him are male. You   
   know, I bet that's really how he lost the tip of his nose....he was tea-   
   bagging some poor little infant with his big honker up the kid's tight   
   little hole. His new young bung would still be super-tight because most   
   of the stuff coming out a baby is Gerber's, but looking for the most   
   part just like when it went into the top hole, but smelling like some   
   horrid UNHOLY fucking fetid evil has just spewed forth from Satan's very   
   own diseased intestinal tracts, and when this odor hit's a normal   
   adult's nasal sensory apparatus, a mighty gag reflex bends the body at   
   the waist, and usually the adult digestive system vacates anything in   
   the stomach pouch that the big dumb adult may have consumed despite the   
   obvious other-worldly origins of the malodorous miasma. In an unholy   
   sexually perverse reversal of this autonomous safety reaction (think   
   round knee-jerk and of an octopi's beak), Jackson would have had his   
   proboscis wedged quite as far as he could have, so that he would be able   
   to place both of the tiny tot's prototesticles in his mouth, and nose   
   full up inside the lad's rectum. Disaster loomed just around the twists   
   of the boy's small intestine, and then gushes forth into the roomier   
   large Intestine, noisily bubbling up a hot froth of noxious bacteria   
   laden liquid that this small human crock pot had made. Suddenly, MJ,   
   flat on his back with mouth around son's nut sack, and nose buried deep   
   within the tiny rectum, when, much to Michael's horror, the child's body   
   began a painful spasm that could only be signalling one thing, and one   
   thing only: EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA and that way was blocked by the *one*   
   body part that Mr. Jackson despised the most than any other - his big   
   fat nose that his daddy would mercilessly mock, and getting the Jackson   
   4 to join in their reindeer games - until MJ developed classic Body   
   Dismorphic Disorder and began using his body as a whittling post. But   
   poor MJ didn't have the time to ponder these things, for as soon as the   
   boy's body felt the pain his bung hold worked just as it was supposed   
   to, it clamped shut so fast and so tight, that it lopped the tip of MJ's   
   nose as fast and a cleanly as if lopped off with a cigar guillotine.   
   Unfortunately, this temporary cork only held back the deadly human   
   sewage long enough for Michael to look up a the new bung and it's hole   
   just long enough for the explosive force to blow the tip of MJ's nose   
   into his right eye, blinding him in that eye forever, once the various   
   infections healed up. So now you know why Michael Jackson's fake nose   
   fell off during a court copyright hearing a few years back, and is   
   always wearing sunglasses or an umbrella.   
      
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