From: fake@fake.net   
      
   RESUME   
      
   George W. Bush   
   The White House, USA   
      
      
   LAW ENFORCEMENT:   
      
   I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the   
   influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's   
   license suspended for 30 days.  My Texas driving record has been   
   "lost" and is not available.   
      
      
   MILITARY:   
      
   I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.  I refused to   
   take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.  By   
   joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty   
   in Vietnam.   
      
      
   COLLEGE:   
      
   I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader.   
      
      
   PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:   
      
   I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil   
   Business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but   
   couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly   
   after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in   
   a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help   
   of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including   
   Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.   
      
      
   ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:   
      
   I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,   
   Making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure,   
   Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.   
   I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions   
   in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any   
   Governor in American history.   
      
   With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's   
   appointments to the Supreme court, I became President even though I   
   lost by over 500,000 votes.   
      
      
   ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:   
      
   I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one   
   billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively   
   bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest   
   annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most   
   private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time   
   record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.   
      
   I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a   
   criminal record. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation   
   in any one year period.   
      
   After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst   
   security failure in U.S. history.   
      
   I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a   
   WMD. In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for   
   attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.   
      
   I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.   
   president. In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost   
   their jobs and that trend continues every month.   
      
   I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.   
      
   I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any   
   president in U.S. history.   
      
   I appointed the US Attorney General who was so unpopular in his own   
   home state, Missouri, that he lost his previous election to a dead   
   man.   
      
   I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any   
   president since the advent of television.   
      
   I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused   
   to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.   
      
   I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.   
      
   I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in   
   duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in war time.   
      
   I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to   
   simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people)   
   shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of   
   mankind.   
      
   I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S.   
   history.   
      
   I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any   
   administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza   
   Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.   
      
   I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,   
   pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.   
      
   I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.   
   citizens, and the world community.   
      
   I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy   
   in the history of the United States government.   
      
   I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations   
   remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.   
      
   I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.   
      
   I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war   
   detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.   
      
   I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election   
   inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).   
      
   I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most   
   corporate campaign donations.   
      
   My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,   
   Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in   
   U.S. history. My political party used the Enron private jets and   
   corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court   
   during my election decision.   
      
   I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against   
   investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent   
   investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent   
   investigating one of the biggest corporate ripoffs in history.   
      
   I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center   
   attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated   
   country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world   
   history.   
      
   I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)   
   view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.   
      
   I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded   
   government contracts.   
      
   I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to catch Osama Bin Laden and   
   bring him to justice.   
      
      
   RECORDS AND REFERENCES:   
      
   All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's   
   library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.   
      
   All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my   
   bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public   
   view.   
      
   All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,   
   attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and   
   unavailable for public review.   
      
   Please consider my experience when voting in 2004.   
      
      
      
   Send this to every voter you know.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)