XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   Isn't it appropriate that the Month of the Tax begins with   
   April Fool's Day, and ends with cries of "May Day!"?   
      
      
   We wouldn't mind paying income tax   
   if we could know which country it's going to.   
      
      
   I think congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers   
   so we could identify their corporate sponsors.   
      
      
   Why don't the illegals stage rallies in Mexico   
   to change the laws and conditions there?   
      
      
   It's amazing how many beautiful women walk into your life   
   the week before you get married.   
      
      
   A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage . . but   
   an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.   
      
   *.*   
      
   The most wondrous of the human senses:   
   the ability to detect by touch   
   whether you have one or two coffee filters between your fingers.   
      
      
   My doctor said I was paranoid.   
   Well, he didn't actually say it,   
   but I could tell he was thinking it.   
      
      
   You know that you're in a tough neighborhood   
   when you see nine police cars   
   on the block and there is no doughnut shop.   
      
      
   Yawning is usually the act of a person   
   inadvertently opening his mouth   
   when he wishes others would close theirs.   
      
      
   A man with a successful career can have no time   
   to waste upon his wife and friends;   
   he has to devote it wholly to his enemies.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Subject: Cost of doing business   
      
   A man owned a small business in Georgia.   
   The Wage and Hour Department of Georgia claimed   
   he was not paying proper wages   
   to his help and sent an agent to interview him.   
      
   "I need a list of your employees and   
   how much you pay them," demanded the agent.   
      
   "Well, there's my Mechanic who's been with me for 3 years.   
   I pay him $600 a week"   
      
   "The Mechanic's helper has been here for 18 months,   
   and I pay him $500 a month."   
      
   "Then there's the half-wit that works about 18 hours a day.   
   He makes $10 a week and   
   I buy him Cigarettes and Beer," replied the Owner.   
      
   "That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," says the agent.   
      
   The Owner says, "That would be me."   
      
   *.*   
      
   What is the origin of the name for each of the 50 states?   
      
   -Alabama, Means "tribal town" in the Creek Indian language.   
      
   -Alaska, after the Aleut word "alaxsxaq" meaning "the mainland".   
      
   -Arizona, based on Pima Indian word "arizonac" for "little spring   
   place."   
      
   -Arkansas, a French interpretation of the word "acansa," in Sioux   
   meaning   
    "downstream place."   
      
   -California, comes from "Califia" a mythical paradise in old spanish   
   romance word.   
      
   -Colorado, means "Reddish" or "Color Red".   
      
   -Connecticut, Based on Mohican and Algonquin Indian words for a   
    "place beside a long river".   
      
   -Delaware, for the early Virginia governor, Lord De La Warr.   
      
   -Florida was a Spanish territory, and the name is in Spanish too.   
    Florida means "Flowered".   
      
   -Georgia, Named for King George II of England   
      
   -Hawaii, which of course is in native Hawaian could be based on   
    their word for homeland, "Owhyhee".   
      
   -Idaho, is just an invented word.   
      
   -Illinois, word in Algonquin Indian for "warriors".   
      
   -Indiana, from "Land of the Indians".   
      
   -Iowa, indian word for "a beautiful land".   
      
   -Kansas, From the Sioux Indian for "south wind people".   
      
   -Kentucky, Based on the Iroquois Indian word "Ken-tah-ten," meaning   
    "land of tomorrow"   
      
   -Lousiana, Named in honor of France's King Louis XIV, this territory   
   had Frech   
     influence.   
      
   -Maine, Assumed to be a reference to the state region being a mainland,   
     different from its many surrounding islands   
      
   -Maryland, named to honor Henrietta Maria, wife of England's King   
   Charles I.   
      
   -Massachusets, Named after local Indian tribe whose name means "a large   
   hill place".   
      
   -Michigan, for the Chippewa Indian word "meicigama" meaning "great   
   water"   
      (for the big lakes).   
      
   -Minnesota, based on the Dakota Sioux Indian word for "sky-tinted   
   water",   
     referring to the Minnesota River or the state's many lakes.   
      
   -Mississippi, probably based on the Indian "mici zibi," loosely meaning   
   great river.   
      
   -Missouri, named after the Missouri Indian tribe.   
      
   -Montana, based on the Spanish word "Montaa" that means Mountain.   
      
   -Nebraska, Name based on an Oto Indian word that means "flat water,"   
      referring to the Platte River.   
      
   -Nevada, comes from a spanish word that means "snowy" or "snow- clad".   
      
   -New Hampshire, named after the area of Hampshire in England.   
      
   -New Jersey, named after the area of Jersey in England.   
      
   -New Mexico, from the country of Mexico.   
      
   -New York, named after the city of York in England.   
      
   -North Carolina, named in honor of England's King Charles I.   
      
   -North Dakota, for the Sioux or Dacotah Indians.   
      
   -Ohio, comes from the Iroquois Indian word for "good river".   
      
   -Oklahoma, a Choctaw Indian word for "red man".   
      
   -Oregon, may have been derived from that of the Wisconsin River shown   
      on a 1715 French map as "Ouaricon-sint."   
      
   -Pennsylvania, for the Admiral William Penn, father of the state's   
   founder,   
     William Penn.   
      
   -Rhode Island, after "Roode Eylandt" by Adriaen Block, Dutch explorer,   
     because of its red clay.   
      
   -South Carolina (see North Carolina).   
      
   -South Dakota (see North Dakota).   
      
   -Tenessee, Named after Cherokee Indian villages called "Tanasi"   
      
   -Texas, comes from the Spanish "Tejas" when it belonged to Mexico   
     (they exchanged the J for X as an English contribution).   
      
   -Utah, from the Ute Indians (people of the mountains).   
      
   -Vermont, from the French "verts monts," meaning green mountains.   
      
   -Virginia, named for England's "Virgin Queen," Elizabeth I.   
      
   -West Virginia (see Virginia).   
      
   -Washington, after the first President of the US.   
      
   -Wisconsin, from the word "Ouisconsin" believed to mean "grassy place"   
      in the Cheppewa tongue.   
      
   -Wyoming, Indian word meaning "large prairie place".   
      
   *.*   
      
   Oneliners:   
      
   I hate my cubicle. I'm the only round object in here.   
      
   For dying, you always have time.   
      
   For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.   
      
   Money does not talk. It just goes without saying.   
      
   If you would like to get rich, earn more than you spend and keep on   
   doing it.   
      
   A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.   
      
   Be realistic. Plan for a miracle.   
      
   A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.   
      
   Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds   
   discuss people.   
      
   Why is it that the closer you get to the ocean, the more seafood   
   costs?   
      
   The Pilgrims were undocumented immigrants.   
      
   A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.   
      
   Anger is only one letter short of danger.   
      
   A fancy restaurant is where you are sentenced to bread and water for 30   
   minutes.   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   Screwtape On The DaVinci Code by Eric Metaxas   
      
   My dear Wormwood,   
      
   I trust this finds you as miserable and coarse as ever. I am pleased to   
   take   
   a respite from our usual tutorial and venture into something a bit   
   broader,   
   but vastly instructive for our larger purposes. To wit: I shall today   
   croak   
   a paean of praise to a particular work of middlebrow non-fiction. The   
   genre   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)