XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   Oneliners   
      
   The income tax forms have been simplified beyond all understanding.   
      
   Marriage is the mourning after the knot before   
      
   Another American invention the permanent Temporary Tax.   
      
   I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity   
      
   Predestination was doomed from the start.   
      
   Where all men think alike, no one knows very much.   
      
   If you're yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air   
   conditioning.   
      
   Don't find fault. Find a remedy.   
      
   Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and   
   not giving it.   
      
   *.*   
      
   A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the   
   Afghanistan   
   desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find   
   water,   
   he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting   
   at   
   a card-table with neckties laid out on it.   
      
   The Arab asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?"   
      
   The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?   
   They   
   are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes."   
      
   The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!"   
      
   "OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a   
   tie, or that you insult me. I will show you that you have not offended me.   
   If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find   
   a   
   lovely restaurant.   
      
   Go! Walk that way! The restaurant has all the water you need!"   
      
   The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared.   
      
   Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was   
   sitting at his table.   
      
   The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill. Could you not   
   find it?   
      
   "I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in   
   without a tie!"   
      
   *.*   
      
   Short thoughts   
      
   Committing is hard for men.   
   They can't even commit to one TV program.   
   They get a nervous feeling that   
   there's something better on another channel.   
      
      
   Did you notice that people   
   who jog in ninety-degree weather   
   are never properly dressed for it?   
   They should be wearing straitjackets!   
      
      
   Taxation is a lot like sheep shearing...   
   As long as you shear a sheep,   
   it will continue to produce a new crop of wool.   
   But you can skin the animal only once.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Two knights are riding through a forest in medieval England when they   
   come upon a peasant gathering sticks.  "Lo there, yon farmer!"  exclaims   
   one of the knights, "Why dost thou labor in this forest at so late an   
   hour?  There be hostile beasts and men of military about."   
      
   "I beg thy forgiveness my lords," replies the peasant, "but my hearth   
   fire did burn to nothing of late, and my animals are bleating with   
   discomfort."   
      
   "Very well," responds the knight, "then go thee about your task with   
   haste."  The knight then lowers his voice and leans closer to the   
   peasant.  "But I pray thee, hast thou recently seen another knight in   
   this forest, clad as we?  His armor be of green hue and painted upon   
   his shield be a rampant griffin."   
      
   "My apologies lords, but no.  This night I hath seen no one in the   
   forest save thee."   
      
   The knights thank the peasant and continue on their way.  Only a short   
   while later they come upon a milk maid leading a cow along their path.   
   "Halt there, woman!  This is not the time for the movement of cattle!"   
   exclaims one of the knights.  "Hostile beasts and men of military move   
   in this forest during the night."   
      
   "Forgive me sire," responds the maid, "but the young son of my mistress   
   is ill and requires nutrition.  All of there cattle are bare, and she   
   did ask that I bring to her a replacement post haste."   
      
   "Very well," responds the knight, "bring her the cow but be thee   
   fleet."  He then leans closer to the maid and lowers his voice.  "But I   
   pray thee, ponder deeply and then reply, hast thou recently seen   
   another knight in this forest, clad as we?  His armor be of green hue   
   and painted upon his shield be a rampant griffin."   
      
   "No sire," replies the maid, "this unsavory character I have not seen.   
   I would remember such an image."   
      
   The knights thank the maid and continue on their way.  A short while   
   later one of the knights lifts his visor and turns to the other, "Where   
   the hell is Steve?"   
      
   *.*   
      
   While at a local public garden, There were two male mallards engaging in   
   amorous behavior with each other in one of the water features.    My   
   spouse and I looked at each other, and we both knew what the other was   
   thinking.   
      
   "Brokeback Fountain".   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   Dental Socialism in Britain by Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr.   
      
   When you think about the sufferings of the precapitalistic age, it helps   
   to have a vivid example in mind.   
      
   Think of teeth.   
      
   In ancient Egypt, dentists drilled holes through the bone to drain   
   abscessed teeth. No anesthesia. Later, people learned that pulling teeth   
   was the best way to deal with this and other problems. No anesthesia.   
   Dental drills were an advance, but you had to keep the hole filled to   
   keep the air out.   
      
   Those who had the tools did the work. For centuries in Europe, the same   
   guy who cut your hair also extracted your teeth. In the US, it was the   
   blacksmiths who would make the kitchen knives, saw off limbs, and drill   
   and pull teeth.   
      
   By the mid-19^th century, the biggest advance ever came along: laughing   
   gas to take away the pain, which is unthinkably horrible in all ages and   
   all places.   
      
   Well, if you live in Britain, you are likely to experience a blast from   
   the past.   
      
   The system is socialized. Shortages and bad service are as universal   
   under socialism as tooth pain was before the advent of anesthesia. But   
   many in Britain no longer have any choice: they have to pull out their   
   own teeth.   
      
   Only 49 percent of adults and 63 percent of children are registered with   
   a dentist in England and Wales, according to the New York Times.   
   You have to be registered to get service, but there is still no   
   guarantee. You wait months, even years, if you get in at all.   
      
   To make an appointment, you have to call at 8am. The logs are full by   
   8:10am. This is what accounts for the burgeoning market in   
   over-the-counter replacement fillings that you stuff in yourself. Most   
   people just avail themselves of their tool boxes, and give the problem   
   tooth a good yank. It heals in time.   
      
   This experiment in British socialism was concocted by a class of   
   intellectuals who imagined that their scheme would provide equal access   
   to all of life's wonderful things. The result has been a tragedy. And   
   this tragedy has, in many ways, ended in a terrible farce: people   
   yanking out their own teeth in the land that gave us the most   
   conspicuous example of the industrial revolution.   
      
   There is more than a lesson concerning socialism here. The experience   
   provides a warning against all forms of "scientific social planning."   
   The intellectuals hatch their plans to save humanity but, in some   
   strange way, they forget that they are not playing games in a   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)