XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   >From a grave in Lee County, Mississippi:   
      
   Once I Wasn't.   
   Then I Was.   
   Now I ain't Again.   
      
   *.*   
      
   There once was a religious young woman who went to confession. Upon   
   entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have   
   sinned" The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The   
   young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to   
   me seven times."   
      
   The priest thought long and hard and then said,   
      
   "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice." The   
   young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?" The Priest said   
   "No, but it will wipe that smile off your face!"   
      
      
      
   An elderly man went to a brothel and said he would like a young girl   
   for the night.  Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how   
   old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says. "90!" replies the woman.   
   "Don't you realize you've had it?" "Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how   
   much do I owe you?"   
      
      
      
   The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a   
   caller asked, "Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry   
   a virgin?" To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid   
   criticism."   
      
   *.*   
      
   Subject: Geography Lesson   
      
   GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN   
      
   Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half  discovered,  half wild,   
   naturally beautiful with fertile soil.   
      
   Between 23 and 33, a woman is like Canada, well developed and open to   
   trade,   
   especially for someone with cash.   
      
   Between 33 and 43,  a woman is like India; very hot, relaxed, and   
   convinced   
   of her own beauty.   
      
   Between 43 and 50, a woman is  like France,  gently aging but still warm   
   and   
   a desirable place to visit.   
      
   Between 51 and 59,  a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all   
   conquering past.   
      
   Between 60 and 65, a woman  is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted   
   by   
   past mistakes.   
      
   Between 66 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now   
   unpatrolled.   
      
   After 70, she becomes Tibet. A mysterious past and the wisdom of the   
   ages.... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual   
   knowledge visit there.   
      
   GEOGRAPHY OF MEN   
      
   Between 1 and 80, a man is like America - ruled by a dick.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Q: What do Rosie O'Donnell and Tom Cruise have in   
   common?   
      
   A: They're both gay, and they both love Tom Cruise.   
      
   *.*   
      
   A win win win situation:   
      
   Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border,   
   Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans   
   Put the Florida alligators in the moat.   
      
   Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   Killing Iraqi Children by Jacob G. Hornberger   
      
   In a short editorial, the Detroit News asked an interesting question:   
      
   "Some war critics are suggesting Iraq terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi   
   should   
   have been arrested and prosecuted rather than bombed into oblivion. Why   
   expose American troops to the danger of an arrest, when bombs work so   
   well?"   
      
   Here's one possible answer: In order not to send a five-year-old Iraqi   
   girl   
   into oblivion with the same 500-pound bombs that sent al-Zarqawi into   
   oblivion.   
      
   Of course, I don't know whether the Detroit News editorial board, if   
   pressed, would say that the death of that little Iraqi girl was "worth   
   it."   
   Maybe the board wasn't even aware that that little girl had been killed by   
   the bombs that killed Zarqawi when it published its editorial. But I do   
   know   
   one thing: killing Iraqi children and other such "collateral damage" has   
   long been acceptable and even "worth it" to U.S. officials as part of   
   their   
   long-time foreign policy toward Iraq.   
      
   This U.S. government mindset was expressed perfectly by former U.S.   
   official   
   Madeleine Albright when she stated that the deaths of half a million Iraqi   
   children from the U.S. and UN sanctions against Iraq had, in fact, been   
   "worth it." By "it" she was referring to the U.S. attempt to oust Saddam   
   Hussein from power through the use of the sanctions. Even though that   
   attempt did not succeed, U.S. officials still felt that the deaths of the   
   Iraqi children had been worth trying to get rid of Saddam.   
      
   It's no different with respect to President Bush's war on Iraq and the   
   resulting occupation, which has killed or maimed tens of thousands of   
   Iraqi   
   people, including countless children. (The Pentagon has long had a policy   
   of   
   not keeping count of the number of Iraqi people, including children, it   
   kills.) In the minds of U.S. officials, the deaths and maiming of all   
   those   
   Iraqi people, including the children, while perhaps unfortunate   
   "collateral   
   damage," have, in fact, been worth it.   
      
   That's why U.S. officials gave nary a thought to the death of that   
   five-year-old girl who was bombed into oblivion with the bomb that did the   
   same to Zarqawi. The child's death was "worth it" because the bomb also   
   killed a terrorist, which U.S. officials believe, brings the Middle East   
   another step closer to peace and freedom.   
      
   Wars of aggression versus defensive wars   
      
   Some would argue that such "collateral damage" is just an unfortunate   
   byproduct of war. War is brutal. People get killed in war. Compared with   
   the   
   two world wars, not that many people have been killed in Iraq, proponents   
   of   
   the Iraq war and occupation would claim.   
      
   Such claims, however, miss an important point: U.S. military forces have   
   no   
   right, legal or moral, even to be in Iraq killing anyone. Why? Because   
   neither the Iraqi people nor their government ever attacked the United   
   States. The Iraqi people had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks in New   
   York   
   and Washington. Thus, this was an optional war against Iraq, one that   
   President Bush and his military forces did not have to wage.   
      
   The attack on Iraq was akin to, say, attacking Bolivia or Uruguay or   
   Mongolia, after 9/11. Those countries also had nothing to do with the 9/11   
   attacks and so it would have been illegal and immoral for President Bush   
   to   
   have ordered an invasion and occupation of those countries as well. To   
   belabor the obvious, the fact that some people attacked the United States   
   on   
   9/11 didn't give the United States the right to attack countries that   
   didn't   
   have anything to do with the 9/11 attacks.   
      
   That made the United States the aggressor nation and Iraq the defending   
   nation in this conflict. That incontrovertible fact holds deep moral   
   implications, as well as legal ones, for U.S. soldiers who kill people in   
   Iraq, including people who are simply trying to oust the occupiers from   
   Iraq. Don't forget that aggressive war was punished as a war crime at   
   Nuremberg.   
      
   Suppose an armed robber enters a person's home and the owner's neighbor   
   comes over to help him. The homeowner and his neighbor fire at the robber   
   who fires back, killing both the homeowner and his neighbor.   
      
   Can the robber claim self-defense? No, because he had no right to be in   
   the   
   home in the first place. The intruder is guilty of murder, both morally   
   and   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)