XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings   
   are the only animals that stutter", she says.   
      
   A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she   
   volunteered.  The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories   
   could   
   become, asked the girl to describe the incident.   
      
   "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the   
   rottweiler   
   who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped   
   over the fence into our yard!"   
      
   "That must've been scary", said the teacher.   
      
   "It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff,   
   Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!"   
      
   *.*   
      
   Most lying should be blamed on women.   
   They insist on asking questions.   
      
      
   Sex is evil.   Evil is sin.   
   Sin is forgiven.  So, sex is in.   
      
      
   My family is very well adjusted.   
   We have three chiropractors in the family.   
      
      
   The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't   
   have that rule when Jesus was born.   
      
      
   Blessed be those who initiate lively discussions   
   with the hopelessly mute,   
     for they shall be known as dentists.   
      
   *.*   
      
   A chef's hat is tall and balloons at the top so as to   
   counteract the intense heat in the kitchen.   
   The unique shape allows air to circulate around the scalp,   
   keeping the head cool.   
      
      
   It's time we went to a corporate-style   
   proxy system for elections.   
   One vote for every $100 in taxes paid.   
   It's time the beggars stopped being choosers.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Three gas station owners report for their first day in prison.   
   The prison guard asks one of them,   
      
   "What are you in for?" He replies,   
   "The government says I charged customers more   
   for my gasoline than other gas stations.   
   I'm in for PRICE GOUGING ."   
      
   The guard looks at the second man. "And you?"   
   He answers, "I charged less for my   
   gasoline than everyone else.   
   I'm in for ANTI-COMPEITIVE PRICING."   
      
   The guard looks to the third. "And you?"   
   He shrugs. "I charged the same price for my   
   gasoline as all the other gas stations.   
   I'm in for COLLUSION."   
      
   *.*   
      
   My wife and other ladies in our parish,   
   count church donations every Monday.   
   This week she came home early.   
      
   When I asked, "Why are you so early?",   
   She replied "Every one showed up   
        and we didn"t have anyone to talk about."   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   The Real Link by Tom Engelhardt   
      
   The Real Link Between 9/11 and Iraq (Finally) Revealed   
      
   You've heard the President and Vice President say it over and over in   
   various ways: There was a connection between the events of September 11,   
   2001 and Iraq. Let's take this seriously and consider some of the links   
   between the two.   
      
   Numbers and comparisons   
      
   *At least 3,438 Iraqis died by violent means during July (roughly similar   
   numbers died in June and August), significantly more than the 2,973 people   
   who died in the attacks of September 11, 2001.   
      
   *1,536 Iraqis died in Baghdad alone in August, according to revised   
   figures from the Baghdad morgue. That's over half the 9/11 casualties in   
   one city in one increasingly typical month. According to the Washington   
   Post, this figure does not include suicide-bombing victims and others   
   taken to the city's hospitals, nor does it include deaths in towns near   
   the capital.   
      
   *By the beginning of September, 2,974 U.S. military service members had   
   died in Iraq and in the Bush administration's Global War on Terror, more   
   than died in the attacks of 9/11. (Twenty-two more American soldiers died   
   in Iraq in the first 9 days of September; at least 3 in Afghanistan.)   
      
   *Five years later, according to Emily Gosden and David Randall of the   
   British newspaper, the Independent, the Bush administration's Global War   
   on Terror has resulted in, at a minimum, 20 times the deaths of 9/11; at a   
   maximum, 60 times. It has "directly killed a minimum of 62,006 people,   
   created 4.5 million refugees and cost the US more than the sum needed to   
   pay off the debts of every poor nation on earth. If estimates of other,   
   unquantified, deaths - of insurgents, the Iraq military during the 2003   
   invasion, those not recorded individually by Western media, and those   
   dying from wounds - are included, then the toll could reach as high as   
   180,000." According to Australian journalist Paul McGeough, Iraqi   
   officials (and others) estimate that that country's death toll since 2003   
   "stands at 50,000 or more - the proportional equivalent of about 570,000   
   Americans."   
      
   *Last week, the U.S. Senate agreed to appropriate another $63 billion for   
   military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, where costs have been   
   averaging $10 billion a month so far this year. This brings the (taxpayer)   
   cost for Bush's wars so far to about $469 billion and climbing. That's the   
   equivalent of 469 Ground Zero memorials at full cost-overrun estimates,   
   double that if the memorial comes in at the recently revised budget of   
   $500 million. (Keep in mind that the estimated cost of these two wars   
   doesn't include various perfectly real future payouts like those for the   
   care of veterans and could rise into the trillions.)   
      
   *In 2003, with its invasion of Iraq over, the Bush administration had   
   about 150,000 troops in Iraq. Just under three and a half years later,   
   almost as long as it took to win World War II in the Pacific, and despite   
   much media coverage about coming force "draw-downs," U.S. troop levels are   
   actually rising - by 15,000 in the last month. They now stand at 145,000,   
   just 5,000 short of the initial occupation figure. (Pre-invasion, top   
   administration officials like Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz   
   took it for granted that American troop levels would be drawn down to the   
   30,000 range within three months of the taking of Baghdad.)   
      
   Reconstruction   
      
   While Americans are planning to remember 9/11 with four vast towers and a   
   huge, extremely costly memorial sunk into Manhattan's Ground Zero,   
   Baghdadis have been thinking a bit more practically. They are putting   
   scarce funds into constructing two new branch morgues (with refrigeration   
   units) in the capital for what's now most plentiful in their country: dead   
   bodies. They plan to raise the city's morgue capacity to 250 bodies a day.   
   If fully used, that would be about 7,500 bodies a month. Think of it as a   
   hedge against ever more probable futures.   
      
   While the various New York memorial constructions can't get off (or into)   
   the ground, due to disputes and cost estimate overruns, what could be   
   thought of as the real American memorial to Ground Zero is going up in the   
   very heart of Baghdad; and unlike the prospective structures in Manhattan   
   or seemingly just about any other construction project in Iraq, it's on   
   schedule. According to Paul McGeough, the $787 million "embassy," a   
   21-building, heavily fortified complex (not reliant on the capital's   
   hopeless electricity or water systems) will pack significant bang for the   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)