XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: nowhere@none   
      
   Don`t you like them, Stalin wannabe?   
      
    wrote in message   
   news:aj88h2trqe7upievvt1qq1on6ssj93vlfs@4ax.com...   
   > Is there a reason you think your 10 posts of collected jokes have some   
   > relevance in alt.politics, economics, etc?   
   >   
   > On Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:34:19 -0400, "Erik D. Freeman"   
   >  wrote:   
   >   
   >>Oneliners   
   >>   
   >>The income tax forms have been simplified beyond all understanding.   
   >>   
   >>Marriage is the mourning after the knot before   
   >>   
   >>Another American invention the permanent Temporary Tax.   
   >>   
   >>I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity   
   >>   
   >>Predestination was doomed from the start.   
   >>   
   >>Where all men think alike, no one knows very much.   
   >>   
   >>If you're yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air   
   >>conditioning.   
   >>   
   >>Don't find fault. Find a remedy.   
   >>   
   >>Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and   
   >>not giving it.   
   >>   
   >>*.*   
   >>   
   >>A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the   
   >>Afghanistan   
   >>desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find   
   >>water,   
   >>he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting   
   >>at   
   >>a card-table with neckties laid out on it.   
   >>   
   >>The Arab asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?"   
   >>   
   >>The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?   
   >>They   
   >>are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes."   
   >>   
   >>The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!"   
   >>   
   >>"OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a   
   >>tie, or that you insult me. I will show you that you have not offended me.   
   >>If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find   
   >>a   
   >>lovely restaurant.   
   >>   
   >>Go! Walk that way! The restaurant has all the water you need!"   
   >>   
   >>The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared.   
   >>   
   >>Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was   
   >>sitting at his table.   
   >>   
   >>The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill. Could you not   
   >>find it?   
   >>   
   >>"I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in   
   >>without a tie!"   
   >>   
   >>*.*   
   >>   
   >>Short thoughts   
   >>   
   >>Committing is hard for men.   
   >>They can't even commit to one TV program.   
   >>They get a nervous feeling that   
   >>there's something better on another channel.   
   >>   
   >>   
   >>Did you notice that people   
   >>who jog in ninety-degree weather   
   >>are never properly dressed for it?   
   >>They should be wearing straitjackets!   
   >>   
   >>   
   >>Taxation is a lot like sheep shearing...   
   >>As long as you shear a sheep,   
   >>it will continue to produce a new crop of wool.   
   >>But you can skin the animal only once.   
   >>   
   >>*.*   
   >>   
   >>Two knights are riding through a forest in medieval England when they   
   >>come upon a peasant gathering sticks.  "Lo there, yon farmer!"  exclaims   
   >>one of the knights, "Why dost thou labor in this forest at so late an   
   >>hour?  There be hostile beasts and men of military about."   
   >>   
   >>"I beg thy forgiveness my lords," replies the peasant, "but my hearth   
   >>fire did burn to nothing of late, and my animals are bleating with   
   >>discomfort."   
   >>   
   >>"Very well," responds the knight, "then go thee about your task with   
   >>haste."  The knight then lowers his voice and leans closer to the   
   >>peasant.  "But I pray thee, hast thou recently seen another knight in   
   >>this forest, clad as we?  His armor be of green hue and painted upon   
   >>his shield be a rampant griffin."   
   >>   
   >>"My apologies lords, but no.  This night I hath seen no one in the   
   >>forest save thee."   
   >>   
   >>The knights thank the peasant and continue on their way.  Only a short   
   >>while later they come upon a milk maid leading a cow along their path.   
   >>"Halt there, woman!  This is not the time for the movement of cattle!"   
   >>exclaims one of the knights.  "Hostile beasts and men of military move   
   >>in this forest during the night."   
   >>   
   >>"Forgive me sire," responds the maid, "but the young son of my mistress   
   >>is ill and requires nutrition.  All of there cattle are bare, and she   
   >>did ask that I bring to her a replacement post haste."   
   >>   
   >>"Very well," responds the knight, "bring her the cow but be thee   
   >>fleet."  He then leans closer to the maid and lowers his voice.  "But I   
   >>pray thee, ponder deeply and then reply, hast thou recently seen   
   >>another knight in this forest, clad as we?  His armor be of green hue   
   >>and painted upon his shield be a rampant griffin."   
   >>   
   >>"No sire," replies the maid, "this unsavory character I have not seen.   
   >>I would remember such an image."   
   >>   
   >>The knights thank the maid and continue on their way.  A short while   
   >>later one of the knights lifts his visor and turns to the other, "Where   
   >>the hell is Steve?"   
   >>   
   >>*.*   
   >>   
   >>While at a local public garden, There were two male mallards engaging in   
   >>amorous behavior with each other in one of the water features.    My   
   >>spouse and I looked at each other, and we both knew what the other was   
   >>thinking.   
   >>   
   >>"Brokeback Fountain".   
   >>   
   >>Issue of the Times;   
   >>Dental Socialism in Britain by Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr.   
   >>   
   >>When you think about the sufferings of the precapitalistic age, it helps   
   >>to have a vivid example in mind.   
   >>   
   >>Think of teeth.   
   >>   
   >>In ancient Egypt, dentists drilled holes through the bone to drain   
   >>abscessed teeth. No anesthesia. Later, people learned that pulling teeth   
   >>was the best way to deal with this and other problems. No anesthesia.   
   >>Dental drills were an advance, but you had to keep the hole filled to   
   >>keep the air out.   
   >>   
   >>Those who had the tools did the work. For centuries in Europe, the same   
   >>guy who cut your hair also extracted your teeth. In the US, it was the   
   >>blacksmiths who would make the kitchen knives, saw off limbs, and drill   
   >>and pull teeth.   
   >>   
   >>By the mid-19^th century, the biggest advance ever came along: laughing   
   >>gas to take away the pain, which is unthinkably horrible in all ages and   
   >>all places.   
   >>   
   >>Well, if you live in Britain, you are likely to experience a blast from   
   >>the past.   
   >>   
   >>The system is socialized. Shortages and bad service are as universal   
   >>under socialism as tooth pain was before the advent of anesthesia. But   
   >>many in Britain no longer have any choice: they have to pull out their   
   >>own teeth.   
   >>   
   >>Only 49 percent of adults and 63 percent of children are registered with   
   >>a dentist in England and Wales, according to the New York Times.   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)