XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.   
   For example:   
      
   1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you   
   can see right through them.   
      
   2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while   
   to   
   warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right   
   buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.   
      
   3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.   
      
   4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to   
   light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.   
      
   5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.   
      
   6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.   
      
   7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.   
      
   8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the   
   bottom.   
      
   9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000   
   years,   
      
   but it's handy to have around.   
      
   10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But   
   consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and   
   while   
      
   he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.   
      
   *.*   
      
   WHY AM I MARRIED?   
      
   You have two choices in life:   
   You can stay single and be miserable,   
   or get married and wish you were dead.   
      
      
   At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,   
   "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I   
   married the wrong man."   
      
      
   A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:   
   "Husband Wanted"   
   Next day she received a hundred letters.   
   They all said the same thing:   
   "You can have mine."   
      
      
   When a woman steals your husband,   
   there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.   
      
      
   A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.   
      
      
   A young son asked,   
   "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa   
   a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"   
   Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."   
      
      
   Then there was a woman who said,   
   "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,   
   and by then, it was too late."   
      
      
   Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.   
      
      
   If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word   
   you   
   say - talk in your sleep.   
      
      
   First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"   
   Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."   
      
   *.*   
      
   TOP COUNTRY SONGS OF 2006   
      
   How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?   
      
   I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well   
      
   I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better   
      
   I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win   
      
   I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're still Here   
      
   If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now   
      
   My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him   
      
   She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger   
      
   You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly   
      
   She's Looking Better After Every Beer   
      
   I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A   
   Few.   
      
   *.*   
      
   A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a   
   millionaire."   
      
   "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend.   
      
   The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire   
      
   *.*   
      
   A mosquito cried out in pain:   
   "A chemist has poisoned my brain!"   
   The cause of his sorrow   
   was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane   
      
   * [paraDichloroDiphenylTrichloroethane is the the full name for DDT]   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   'Every Day is 1956': The Hungarian Revolution Today by James Bovard   
      
   Friends of freedom should doff their hats to the Hungarians this week.   
   Fifty   
   years ago, the Hungarian people bravely expelled Soviet tanks from   
   Budapest   
   and proclaimed their intention to create a democracy. Shortly thereafter,   
   the Soviets returned with almost 5,000 tanks, killing thousands of   
   Hungarians and chaining that nation back into serfdom to Moscow.   
      
   But at least the Hungarians had the gumption to stand up and sacrifice   
   their   
   blood to cast off tyranny.   
      
   I was in Hungary shortly after the 30th anniversary of the uprising. There   
   were no official celebrations then, perhaps because the Soviets still   
   occupied the nation and were watching warily as the Hungarians made   
   passive   
   economic reforms intended to make socialism efficient.   
      
   The buildings in downtown Budapest appeared to have different sets of   
   bullet   
   holes - the first from the fierce fighting in 1944 when the Red Army drove   
   the Nazis out of the city, and another set from a dozen years later, from   
   when the Soviets crushed the Hungarians' demand for freedom.   
      
   I have not forgotten the row of new black Mercedes cars parked outside   
   Communist Party headquarters near the Danube River in Budapest. When I   
   interviewed one of the regime's top trade officials, he was as smug as the   
   day is long, oblivious to the cascading evidence of Hungarian economic   
   failure. (The Reagan administration was cozying up to Hungary at that   
   point,   
   and the "experts" at the U.S. embassy sounded like pimps for the Hungarian   
   government.)   
      
   Two and a half years later, it was the Hungarians who, more than any other   
   Eastern Europeans, brought the Iron Curtain crashing down. In May 1989,   
   Hungarian government officials cut the barbed wire on the border with   
   Austria. A tidal wave of East Germans and other Soviet Bloc serfs were   
   soon   
   stampeding through the opening. The Soviet tanks did not roll - and the   
   rest   
   is history.   
      
   The celebrations in Budapest of the 50th anniversary of the uprising have   
   been riotous. This is in part because Hungarians again feel betrayed and   
   oppressed by their government.   
      
   The socialist party - the direct descendant of the Communist Party that   
   tyrannized the country for so long - now rules Hungary. The socialists   
   secured control in elections this past April.   
      
   Last month, a secret tape recording made shortly after the election leaked   
   out. Hungarians heard Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany summarize the   
   party's   
   election campaign: "We lied in the morning, in the evening, and at night.   
   I   
   don't want to do this anymore." Gyurcsany said that the government's   
   claims   
   about the economy were brazen falsehoods. The government now admits that   
   the   
   government budget deficit is almost twice as large as it claimed during   
   the   
   election campaign.   
      
   The tape's release sparked widespread protests that escalated with this   
   week's anniversary. More than 100 people have been injured, including many   
   hit by police rubber bullets. Hungarian state radio reported that "police   
   beat some of the protesters - including women and elderly people - with   
   rubber batons, and some had head injuries," according to the Associated   
   Press.   
      
   Tibor Navracsics, one of the opposition leaders, warns, "Hungary is in a   
   moral crisis. If people are deceived, then they can't make responsible   
   decisions.'' The opposition is demanding a public referendum within five   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)