XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   With the Christmas shopping season kicked off Millions will crowd the   
   malls in search of that hard-to-find treasure ...   
      
   Customer Service.   
      
   *.*   
      
   The bar was crowded. Suddenly there was   
   a loud crash outside,   
   followed by screaming and crying.   
      
   Everybody jumped up and rushed outside   
   to see what was going on,   
   except two men who stayed on their bar stools,   
   nursing their drinks..   
      
   One glanced at the other and said,   
   "So...you're a doctor, too?"   
      
   *.*   
      
   Oneliners:   
      
   The poor have little, beggars none, the rich too much, the IRS mine.   
      
   Weather forecast for tonight: Dark   
      
   For older Americans, an eye pod is a cataract.   
      
   Flirtation: Attention without intention.   
      
   Few children fear water, unless soap is added.   
      
   Never eat more than you can lift.   
      
   We'll know immigration is out of hand when we have to press "2"   
   for English.   
      
   Ever feel like you have an 8-track mind in a DVD world?   
      
   Acorn: an oak in a nutshell   
      
   To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Sign at child's eye level in the window of a toy shop:   
   "If You See What You Want, Tell Grandma!"   
      
      
   Years of observation is not what creates stereotypes.   
   They are created by years of isolation.   
      
      
   I realized drivers no longer use their blinkers   
   because that's the hand in which they hold their cellphones.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies   
      
   1 cup of water   
   1 tsp baking soda   
   1 cup of sugar   
   1 tsp salt   
   1 cup or brown sugar   
   4 large eggs   
   1 cup nuts   
   2 cups of dried fruit   
   1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila   
      
   Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the   
   Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level   
   cup and drink.   
      
   Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large   
   fluffy bowl.   
      
   Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to   
   make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup....just in case.   
      
   Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and   
   chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off the   
   floor..   
      
   Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers   
   just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for   
   consisticity.   
      
   Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.   
   Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your   
   nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever   
   you can find. Greash the oven.   
      
   Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget   
      
   to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window,   
   finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the   
   dishwasher. Cherry Mistmas   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   Che Guevara: 39 Years of Media Hype by Humberto Fontova   
      
   Thirty-nine years ago this week, Ernesto "Che" Guevara got a major dose of   
   his own medicine. Without trial he was declared a murderer, stood against   
   a   
   wall and shot. Historically speaking, justice has rarely been better   
   served.   
   If the saying "What goes around comes around" ever fit, it's here.   
      
   "Executions?" Che Guevara exclaimed while addressing the hallowed halls of   
   the U.N. General Assembly on December 9, 1964. "Certainly we execute!" he   
   declared, to the claps and cheers of that august body. "And we will   
   CONTINUE   
   executing as long as it is necessary! This is a war to the DEATH against   
   the   
   revolution's enemies!"   
      
   According to the Black Book of Communism, those firing-squad executions   
   had   
   reached around 10,000 by that time. Sloboban Milosevic, by the way, went   
   on   
   trial for allegedly ordering 8,000 executions. The charge against him by   
   the   
   same U.N. that deliriously applauded Che Guevara's proud proclamation was   
   "genocide."   
      
   "I don't need proof to execute a man," snapped Che to a judicial underling   
   in 1959. "I only need proof that it's necessary to execute him!"   
      
   The "revolution's enemies" bound, gagged and murdered by Che and his   
   henchmen were among the most enterprising and valiant fighters of the 20th   
   century ranking alongside the Hungarian Freedom Fighters. They fought just   
   as valiantly, as desperately - and, ultimately - just as hopelessly. They   
   fought to the last bullet and usually to the death.   
      
   The few survivors live today in places like Miami and New Jersey and   
   qualify   
   as the longest-suffering political prisoners in modern history. But you'll   
   look for their stories on the History Channel and PBS and in the New York   
   Times, etc., in vain. They fought the Left's premier pinup boys, you see.   
   So   
   their heroism doesn't qualify as politically correct drama.   
      
   On the contrary, Time magazine honors Che Guevara among "The 100 Most   
   Important People of the Century." Not satisfied with such a measly   
   accolade   
   they list him in the "Heroes and Icons" section, alongside Anne Frank,   
   Andrei Sakharov, Rosa Parks and Mother Theresa. From here the ironies only   
   get richer.   
      
   The most popular version of the Che T-shirt and poster, for instance,   
   sports   
   the slogan "Fight Oppression" under his famous face. This is the face of a   
   man who co-founded a regime that jailed more of its subjects than did   
   Hitler's or Stalin's and declared that "individualism must disappear!" In   
   1959, with the help of Soviet GRU agents, the man celebrated on that   
   T-shirt   
   helped found, train and indoctrinate Cuba's secret police. "Always   
   interrogate your prisoners at night," Che ordered his goons. "A man's   
   resistance is always lower at night." Today the world's largest Che mural   
   adorns Cuba's Ministry of the Interior, the headquarters for Cuba's KGB-   
   and   
   STASI-trained secret police. Nothing could be more fitting.   
      
   "Iron" Mike Tyson used to end fights with his arms upraised in triumph. In   
   2002 he got a huge Che tattoo on his torso, visited Cuba, and has been   
   consistently and horribly stomped in fight after fight ever since, a   
   process   
   perfectly mimicking the combat record of his tattoo idol. Che was indeed   
   proficient at smiting his enemies, Mike, thousands of them, but only after   
   they were bound, gagged and blindfolded - and I'm afraid the National   
   Boxing   
   Federation won't allow this.   
      
   When the crowd of A-list hipsters and Beautiful People at the Sundance   
   Film   
   Festival (which included everyone from Tipper and Al Gore to Sharon Stone,   
   Meryl Streep and Paris Hilton) exploded in a rapturous standing ovation   
   for   
   Robert Redford's The Motorcycle Diaries, they were cheering a film   
   glorifying a man who jailed or exiled most of Cuba's best writers, poets   
   and   
   independent filmmakers while converting Cuba's press and cinema - at Czech   
   machine-gunpoint - into propaganda agencies for a Stalinist regime.   
      
   Executive producer of the movie Robert Redford (who always kicks off the   
   film festival with a long dirge about the importance of artistic freedom)   
   was forced to screen the film for Che's widow (who heads Cuba's Che   
   Guevara   
   Studies Center) and Fidel Castro for their approval before release. We can   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)