XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   "President Bush welcomed the Prime Minister of India   
   to the White House today.   
      
   Bush said, 'While you're here can you look at   
   my computer for a second?'"   
      
   *.*   
      
   A man owes it to himself to become successful.   
   After that, he owes it to the Bureau of Internal Revenue.   
      
      
   To increase the level of difficulty, true NASCAR fans   
   dye their Easter eggs camouflage.   
      
      
   Genius does what it must, talent does what it can   
   and you had best do what you're told.   
      
      
   Always keep several "Get Well Soon" cards on the mantle.   
   If unexpected guests arrive, say you've been sick and unable to clean.   
      
   *.*   
      
   What's a serial killer's favorite pick up line?   
      
   Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?   
      
   *.*   
      
   As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he   
   said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I   
   think it's due to drinking."   
      
   "In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when   
   you're sober"   
      
   *.*   
      
   Basic Truths For Women   
      
   Women don't make fools of men, most of them are the   
   do-it-yourself types.   
      
   The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason,   
   you've gotten sick of him.   
      
   Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home.   
   He probably lies about other things too.   
      
   A woman's work that's never done is the stuff   
   she asked her husband to do.   
      
   Go for younger men. You might as well,   
   they never mature anyway.   
      
   Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband,   
   you will usually find that he already is.   
      
   Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells per man.   
      
   Husbands are like children - they're fine if they're someone else's.   
      
   There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -   
   strong, caring, loving -   
   they'd be wrong but you could still use them!   
      
   Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work   
   of five men - a woman.   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   Jefferson Davis by Charley Reese   
      
   Jefferson Davis, one of America's greatest statesmen, said that a question   
   settled by violence would inevitably arise again, though at a different   
   time   
   and in a different form.   
      
   And so it has. Lovers and sycophants of the great empire on the Potomac   
   must   
   be feeling uneasy that at least some Americans are again questioning the   
   efficacy of a gargantuan central government.   
      
   Perhaps the recent shift of control of Congress to the Democrats has made   
   them nervous, though God knows there are precious few Jeffersonian   
   Democrats   
   in the modern Democratic Party.   
      
   And what, you might well ask, is a Jeffersonian Democrat? He's a person   
   who   
   hasn't forgotten that the sovereign states created the federal government,   
   not the reverse, as some today seem to assume. He believes that what the   
   Constitution created was a republic of sovereign states, and that the   
   carefully limited powers assigned to the federal government were all the   
   powers it had, in peace or in war. He believes the Constitution is a   
   binding   
   contract, not a rubbery document that can mean anything a judge or a   
   politician says it means. He believes in a system of checks and balances.   
   In   
   short, he believes in the Declaration of Independence.   
      
   That document, you might recall, says that the only purpose of government   
   is   
   to protect rights already granted by God, and that when a government fails   
   to protect those rights and begins to abuse them, the people have the   
   right   
   to alter or overthrow it. "Sounds communistic to me," grumbles old Jack   
   Jingoist. "That guy Jefferson must have been some kind of a pinko."   
      
   Why else would Lord Acton, the great British philosopher of liberty, have   
   written to Robert E. Lee, America's greatest soldier, that, "I grieve more   
   for what was lost at Appomattox than I rejoice at what was gained at   
   Waterloo." Lord Acton saw clearly what many American professors of history   
   do not - that the defeat of the South was the end of America's experiment   
   in   
   liberty and self-government and a conscious choice to emulate the central   
   governments of Europe.   
      
   H.L. Mencken, the Baltimore journalist, in his usually blunt way said the   
   only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was that it was   
   the South, not the North, that was fighting for government "of the people,   
   by the people and for the people."   
      
   Davis had said, "I love the Union and the Constitution, but I would rather   
   leave the Union with the Constitution than remain in the Union without   
   it."   
      
   On another occasion, he said: "We feel our cause is just and holy; we   
   protest solemnly in the face of mankind that we desire peace at any   
   sacrifice save that of our honor and independence. We ask no conquest, no   
   aggrandizement, no concession of any kind from the states with which we   
   were   
   lately confederated; all we ask is to be let alone; that those who never   
   held power over us shall not now attempt our subjugation by arms."   
      
   A newspaper in New Hampshire said: "The Southern Confederacy will not   
   employ   
   our ships or buy our goods. What is our shipping without it? We must not   
   let   
   the South go."   
      
   So to add to the definition of Jeffersonian Democrats, they were a   
   majority   
   of the Founding Fathers, a majority who fought the American Revolution, a   
   majority who wrote the Constitution, and a majority who fought for   
   Southern   
   independence. No wonder the precious few still extant make big-government   
   lovers so nervous.   
      
    2006 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.   
      
   Quote of the Times;   
   "Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption.   
   I   
   do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the   
   security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as   
   much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those   
   important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or   
   the   
   end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I   
   thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer   
   remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and   
   have   
   a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I   
   suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with   
   guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be   
   used   
   in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer   
   the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of   
   truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this   
   country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression.   
   And   
   where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw   
   fit,   
   you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity   
   and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well   
   certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be   
   held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the   
   guilty,   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)