XPost: alt.politics.socialism, alt.politics.economics, alt.politics.media   
   From: efreem2@alumni.umbc.edu   
      
   What this country needs is more young people   
   who will carry to their jobs   
   the same enthusiasm for getting ahead   
   that they display in traffic jams.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Oneliners   
      
   Yesterday's stress is past tense.   
      
   My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.   
      
   You know you're getting old when you're more attractive hanging upside   
   down   
      
   All I ever wanted was an unfair advantage.   
      
   Eminent domain is just a fancy name for government theft.   
      
   If I knew then what I know now . . . "now" would be a whole lot better.   
      
   Outcome has a lot to do with income.   
      
   Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.   
      
   Whenever you're losing an argument, just talk louder.   
      
   I wonder why black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars.   
      
   *.*   
      
   A mother will go to the store for bread and milk, and return with   
   enough groceries to feed Bangladesh for a year.   
      
   A father goes to the store for bread & milk and return with bread,   
   nacho-flavored Doritos and 5 dollars' worth of lottery tickets.   
      
   *.*   
      
   Child-Safety Experts Call For Restrictions On Childhood Imagination   
      
   WASHINGTON, DC-The Department of Health and Human Services issued a series   
   of guidelines Monday designed to help parents curtail their children's   
   boundless imaginations, which child-safety advocates say have the   
   potential   
   to rival motor vehicle accidents and congenital diseases as a leading   
   cause   
   of disability and death among youths ages 3 to 14.   
      
   "Defuse the ticking time-bomb known as your child's imagination before it   
   explodes and destroys her completely," said child-safety expert Kenneth   
   McMillan, who advised the HHS in composing the guidelines. "New data shows   
   a   
   disturbing correlation between serious accidents and the ability of   
   children   
   to envision a world full of exciting possibility."   
      
   The guidelines, titled "Boundless Imagination, Boundless Hazards: Ways To   
   Keep Your Kids Safe From A World Of Wonder," are posted on the HHS   
   website,   
   and will also be available in brochure form in pediatricians' offices   
   across   
   the country.   
      
   According to McMillan, children can suffer broken bones, head trauma, and   
   even fatal injuries from unsupervised exposure to childlike awe. "If your   
   children are allowed to unlock their imaginations, anything from a   
   backyard   
   swing set to a child's own bedroom can be transformed into a dangerous   
   undersea castle or dragon's lair," McMillan said. "But by encouraging your   
   kids to think linearly and literally, and constantly reminding them they   
   can   
   never be anything but human children with no extraordinary   
   characteristics,   
   you can better ensure that they will lead prolonged lives."   
      
   Although the exact number of child fatalities connected to an active   
   imagination is unknown, experts say the danger is very real. According to   
   a   
   2006 estimate, children who regularly engage in imagination are 10 times   
   more likely to suffer injuries such as skinned knees from mythical quests,   
   or bruises and serious falls from the peak of Bookcase Mountain.   
      
   One of the HHS recommendations emphasizes increased communication between   
   parents and children about the truths behind outlandish fantasies. "Speak   
   with your children about the absolute impossibility of time travel,   
   magical   
   powers, and animals and toys that talk when adults are not around," reads   
   one excerpt. "If this fails to quell their imaginations, encourage them to   
   stare at household objects and think clearly and objectively about their   
   actual, physical characteristics."   
      
   The HHS also discourages aimless playtime activities that lack a rigid,   
   repetitive structure: "Opt instead for safe activities like untying knots,   
   sticking and unsticking two pieces of Velcro, drawing straight lines of   
   successively longer lengths, and quietly humming a single note for two to   
   three hours."   
      
   But even these relatively safe activities can become imaginative, experts   
   warn, without proper precautions. "Do not let children know that, for   
   example, sailors and pirates untie knots," McMillan said.   
      
   Although no cure has yet been developed for childhood imagination,   
   preventative measures can deter children from potentially hazardous bouts   
   of   
   make-believe.   
      
   "Many of the suggestions are really quite simple, like breaking down   
   cardboard boxes or sewing cushions to couches so they cannot be converted   
   into forts or playhouses," McMillan said. "Blank pieces of paper, which   
   can   
   inspire non-reality-based drawings, should be discarded unless they are   
   used   
   in one of our recommended diagonal folding and unfolding activities. And   
   all   
   loose sticks left lying in the yard should be carefully labeled 'Not a   
   Sword.'"   
      
   Unfortunately, removing everything from a child's field of view that could   
   stimulate his active young mind is extremely time-consuming, and   
   infeasible   
   as a long-term solution, McMillan acknowledges. "To truly protect your   
   children, you must go to great lengths to completely eliminate their   
   curiosity, crush their spirit of amazement, and eradicate their childlike   
   glee. Watch for the danger signs: faraway expressions, giggle fits, and a   
   general air of carefree contentment."   
      
   Added McMillan: "Remember, if you see a single sparkle of excitement in   
   their eyes, you haven't done enough."   
      
   *.*   
      
   Short Ones   
      
   We are developing a unique educational system.   
   Where else can you find   
   algebra taught in the third grade and spelling in college?   
      
      
   The France that helped us during the Revolutionary War   
   was that of Louis XVI . . . but then   
   they cut off his head and France has not helped us since.   
      
      
   I'm convinced that no one "earns" a journalism degree.   
   Universities just hand them out   
   to those who managed not to get lost in the hallways.   
      
      
   A bank is a dignified institution that was established   
   for people to have a place   
   to keep the government's money until tax time.   
      
      
   Global warming can be attributed to that   
   extra hour of sunlight we get   
   when we switch to daylight-saving time.   
      
   Issue of the Times;   
   Stalin and the Ukranian Massacre by Eric Margolis   
      
   Five years ago, I wrote a column about the unknown Holocaust in Ukraine. I   
   was shocked to receive a flood of mail from young Americans and Canadians   
   of   
   Ukrainian descent telling me that until they read my article, they knew   
   nothing of the 1932-33 genocide in which Stalin's regime murdered 7   
   million   
   Ukrainians and sent 2 million to concentration camps.   
      
   How, I wondered, could such historical amnesia afflict so many young   
   North-American Ukrainians? For Jews and Armenians, the genocides their   
   people suffered are vivid, living memories that influence their daily   
   lives.   
   Yet today, on the 70th anniversary of the destruction of a quarter of   
   Ukraine's population, this titanic crime has almost vanished into   
   history's   
   black hole.   
      
   So has the extermination of the Don Cossacks by the Soviets in the 1920's,   
   and Volga Germans, in 1941; and mass executions and deportations to   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)