From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   > (A/N: WOW I did NOT expect this would be so liked!   
      
   BILL : And there’s a reason for that.   
      
   > O_O Thanks for all the reviews and PLZ PIMP THIS OUT I'M AN   
   > ATTENTION HORE LIKE THAT LOL   
      
   MIKE : I think I lost brain cells just reading that...   
      
   > Also, I am very naughty and need a spanking because I forgot to   
   > thank my very lovely beta Raquelle for catching all of my   
   > mistakes in this chapter and the last :D)   
      
   KEVIN: You mean someone else read through this ball of woe and   
       	said "Great! Go with that?"   
      
   > _Chapter 2_   
   >   
   > Ron's bellow reached her far before he did.   
      
   BILL : [Ron] WILMA.. er... HERMIONE!   
   BILL : Yes, this tends to be the way sound works.   
      
   > "Dinner better be ready, because I had an absolutely foul day."   
      
   MIKE : [Ron] The nerve of those nobs at work expecting expecting   
       	me to be sober and clean-shaven!   
      
   > With a quick flick of her wrist she removed the pot from the   
   > sink, dried it and set it on the table. Silverware, plates and   
   > glasses quickly flew out of their shelves and placed themselves   
   > neatly on the table. If there was one thing she could still be   
   > proud of in her sorry life, it was that she set an excellent   
   > table.   
      
   KEVIN: Aim high, sister!   
      
   > She untied her apron and went to the hallway to greet Ron. "I'm   
   > sorry to hear that. I made stew."   
      
   BILL : Was that an apology or a warning?   
      
   > Even though his lips barely brushed her cheek, Hermione could   
   > still smell the alcohol on his breath. "That's nice. Is the gin   
   > ready?"   
      
   MIKE : [Ron] Blah blah blah BOOZE NOW!   
      
   > The gin. With a cold pang of horror she realized she forgot to   
   > set out the gin.   
      
   KEVIN: I don’t think Miss Manners has advice for where the   
       	Beefeaters goes in a place setting.   
      
   > "I'll get it ready right away!" She said, her attempt at a   
   > cheerful voice ringing with nervousness, and tried to beat a   
   > retreat to the kitchen to get it out.   
   >   
   > He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. "You mean it   
   > isn't?" his voice dangerously low.   
      
   BILL : That’s what she just said! You’re not very bright are you?   
      
   > "N-no! It just slipped my mind, it's nothing serious –"   
   > The slap fell hard and sharp, stinging her cheek. "I've got   
   > enough shit to deal with at the office without having to come   
   > home to an airhead wife. That's just a warning to remind you   
   > for next time. And there  better  not be a next time."   
      
   MIKE : is there a level of abusiveness  past "cartoonish?"   
   BILL : "Stick figure," maybe?   
   KEVIN: "Cave painting?"   
      
   > "Y-yes."   
   > "Yes,  what?"   
      
   MIKE :  [Hermione] "Yes, you great useless pile of cartoonish   
   	evil?"   
      
   > "Yes...dear."   
   >   
   > He let her go. "Better. Now let's see if you didn't forget   
   > dinner along with the gin." He continued to the kitchen,   
   > yelling "Children! Come and greet your father!"   
      
   KEVIN: [Rose]  Uncle Harry’s here?   
      
   > Rose came slowly, reluctantly from the bedroom she shared with   
   > Hugo. She was dressed in a neat little skirt and blouse, her   
   > hair tied up in a bow. Ron looked at her approvingly.   
      
   BILL : [Ron] Eh.. . It’ll do.   
      
   > "Nice to see your mother can do something properly after all."   
   > His brow darkened. "But where's your brother?"   
   > Rose's eyes widened. "He – he was getting dressed when I left,   
   > Daddy."   
   >   
   > Ron stepped closer to her, and she shrank back as he looked   
   > down from his enormous height. "And why isn't he dressed now?"   
      
   MIKE : [Rose] Because it’s midnight?   
      
   > Rose's voice quavered. "I-I don't know, D-Daddy."   
   >   
   > Ron grabbed her limp wrist and began to drag her back to the   
   > room. "Well, then let's go together and find out why your   
   > brother can't be on time for his own father –"   
      
   KEVIN: For the record, how far is too far one "Harry is the real   
       	dad" cracks?   
   MIKE : Let’s call the limit at one Maury gag.   
      
   > But his questions were answered when Hugo came running out,   
   > shirt hastily tucked in and wiping his hands dry on the seat of   
   > his pants. He stopped when he reached Ron, who now towered over   
   > him.   
      
   BILL : [Ron] I’m huge!   
   MIKE : [Hugo] No, "Hu-go!" You’re really not that bright are you?   
      
   > "Would you care to inform me why my own son would be late to   
   > greet his father?"   
      
   KEVIN: [Hugo] Because I’m five?  Because it’s late?  Because I   
       	don’t actually like you?   
      
   > "I...I was taking care of a birdie, Daddy."   
   > "A birdie?"   
      
   BILL : [Hugo] He says his name is "Tweety."   
      
   > "Yes, it hit the bedroom window this morning after you left and   
   > fell in the windowbox but I could tell it was still breathing,   
   > so I brought it in and made it a little nest out of a shoebox   
   > and socks, and I know you don't like pets Daddy but please   
   > can't we keep him, he won't be a bother I promise –"   
      
   MIKE : [Hugo] Ohgodicantstoptalkingwhatiswrongwithme!   
      
   > But Ron was already ignoring him, striding into the other room   
   > and slamming the door behind him.   
      
   BILL : [Ron] You stay here, son. I’m gonna go be a colossal dick.   
      
   > Hugo tried to run to the door, but Hermione grabbed him and   
   > held him close – whatever Ron did to the bird, it would be far   
   > better than what he would do to Hugo if he tried to interfere.   
      
   KEVIN: As we’ll soon see, Hermione has a weird idea of what "far   
       	better" means.   
   MIKE : Stop reading ahead, dammit!   
      
   > For a brief moment there was the sound of Ron shuffling through   
   > drawers and closets, followed by a brief pause.   
   >   
   > Then a soft  snap, like the breaking of a twig.   
   >   
   > The door opened, and Ron strode out, a look of utter disgust on   
   > his face.   
      
   BILL : It turned out Hugo was caring for an actual twig.  Ron   
       	resolved to blame his son’s idiocy on Hermione.   
      
   > He dropped the bird before Hugo, its broken neck causing the   
   > head to lie at a grotesque angle from the body   
      
   MIKE : [bird] I’m dead and grotesque.  [softly] ack.   
      
   > Hermione chewed her lip, trying to fight back the tears of   
   > rage. It was a beautiful bird, its crested head a soft brown   
   > that gently faded into grey along the body, ending in a black   
   > tail tipped with yellow. It had matching black, white, and   
   > russet marks around its eyes and on the tips of its wings, the   
   > latter of which had spots of red and yellow so bright they   
   > almost looked like mistakes.   
      
   KEVIN: So it would’ve been hunky-dory if Ron had murdered an ugly   
       	bird, then?   
   MIKE : I’m more concerned with the implication that this makes   
       	Hermione angrier than her kids getting batted around.   
   BILL : Maybe Rose and Hugo just aren’t cute enough to make the   
       	effort?   
      
   > A small teardrop splashed on the carpet, falling from Hugo's   
   > eye. Rose had started crying long before, and now stood behind   
   > her mother, letting out as quiet sobs as she could manage.   
      
   MIKE : [Rose, whispering] Le sob!   
      
   > Ron's face remained unchanged. "Pick that up and throw it in   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)