From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   > (A/N PEOPLE! Thanks for the reviews so far, but I NEED MORE!   
      
   MIKE : [as Agent Smith] MOOOOORE!   
      
   > So I'm holding my next chapter hostage until I recieve...25   
   > MORE REVIEWS! MUAHAHA! *lighting crash*   
      
   KEVIN: Oh my god!  That poor, poor lighting!  There's glass and   
       	halogens everywhere!  I don't even know what "halogens" are,   
       	but I it's horrible!   
   BILL : So would 25 reviews saying "This sucks; here's why" count?   
      
   > So recc this to your friends, aquaintances, and strangers! Get   
   > me new readers NOW!   
      
   MIKE : No! Make me!   
      
   > And thanks always to my lovely beta Raquelle!)   
      
   BILL : Again, folks: Someone else read this over, presumably gave   
       	constructive criticism, and it still turned out like this.   
       	   
   > Harry asked no questions when Hermione arrived, half an hour   
   > later on his doorstep, her children in hand.   
      
   KEVIN: He'd read the script.   
      
   > In a sense, he felt like he had been expecting her – as if he   
   > had cleared Ginny out of the way to make room in the house for   
   > Hermione.   
      
   MIKE : Which is pretty much what you did.   
   KEVIN: And all it took on her part was a decade of horrific abuse   
       	(which you did nothing about) and a murder by Epic Force   
       	Choke.   
      
   > He had been sitting with his own children in the family room,   
   > explaining why he and Mummy wouldn't be living with one another   
   > anymore, when Mary came in to announce "Mrs. Weasley".   
      
   BILL : She had to shout over the kids singing "Ding Dong, The   
       	 Witch Is Dead."   
      
   > For a second, Harry's stomach churned. Dealing with the   
   > daughter was bad enough; dealing with the mother would be   
   > absolute murder.   
      
   KEVIN: So suddenly, Harry is upset about having to deal with the   
       	woman he basically considered his surrogate mother?   
   MIKE : Even those who are Weasleys by marriage are horrible   
       	people, now.   
      
   > But relief washed over him when he saw it was Hermione, along   
   > with Rose and Hugo, who entered the room.   
      
   BILL : Contentment followed up with a fluffy towel.   
      
   > He felt his relief multiply further as he saw she was   
   > unaccompanied by that red-haired brute.   
      
   KEVIN: Ron Weasley - Still dead, still a monster.   
   MIKE : So Harry is aware that his best friend has turned into   
       	Bigmouth The Ogre... He's just doing jack crap about it...   
      
   > He stood up to greet her, and then paused as he saw her tear-   
   > stained face.   
      
   KEVIN: [Harry] No!  Tears are for Thursday!  Today is "I Ran Into   
       	A Door!"   
      
   > "Harry," she began, stammering. "Would...would you mind   
   > terribly if we were to stay for a few days? It's just..."   
      
   MIKE : [Harry] YES!   
   BILL : [Hermione] I know it's sudden, but I really...   
   MIKE : [Harry] YES!   
   BILL : [Hermione] I should be able to handle things on my own. I   
       	should be stronger but...   
   MIKE : [Harry] Woman, would you stop being Lifetime Movie Victim   
       	#12 and listen?   
      
   > She did not need to say anymore.   
      
   BILL : "Wink wink, nudge nudge! Huh? Huh?"   
      
   > "Mary, please get the guest rooms made up, and take   
   > Mrs....Weasley and the children to her room." Harry said. Mary   
   > nodded and went out   
   >   
   > "Actually, Harry," Hermione said. "I was wondering if you and I   
   > could go somewhere...private...just to talk and catch up."   
      
   KEVIN: "Talk and catch up?"  Is that what the Wizards are calling   
       	it these days?   
   MIKE : Or you could just walk and talk.  This isn't a romantic   
       	date.  Or at least it really REALLY shouldn't be...   
   BILL : But they're reunited, Mike!  There love is aglow by the   
       	light of Harry's marriage and Ron's corpse!   
   KEVIN: Yeah, Mike!  Don't you have any romance in your soul?   
   MIKE : Brutal murders tend to kill that feeling.  Pun not   
       	intended.   
      
   > "Of course." He turned to his children. "Mrs. Weasley and I are   
   > going to go out for a short walk. Can the five of you behave   
   > yourselves and play together nicely while we're gone?"   
   >   
   > Lily and Albus nodded, while James looked somewhat reluctant at   
   > the idea. Nevertheless, he lead the others down the hall to the   
   > playroom.   
      
   BILL : [Rose] YAY!  Let's play "How Mommy Brutally Murdered   
       	Daddy!"   
   KEVIN: [Hugo] I get to be Daddy!   
   MIKE : [Lily] And after that, we can play "Kick Mommy To The   
       	Curb!"   
   ALL  : HURRAY!   
      
   > He turned back to Hermione. "Come on. I know a lovely little   
   > place we can go. Just the two of us."   
      
   MIKE : [Hermione] If the words "hourly rate" are involved, you   
       	should know I've killed before.   
      
   > The streets of London were deserted that night as Hermione and   
   > Harry silently walked side by side.   
      
   KEVIN: As is typical of a sleepy little town like London.   
   MIKE : Maybe they teleported to London, Ontario?   
      
   > Each one felt questions tumbling over and over again in their   
   > heads, but they could not imagine how to say them, or even if   
   > his was the time to say them. Better to wait until they reached   
   > their destination.   
      
   BILL :  Of course, we all know they'll just end up blurting out   
       	 "I've always loved you" at the same time in the most twee   
       	fashion possible.   
      
   > The Oyster Shell was a cheap diner, but it was the go-to joint   
   > when you needed your artery-clogging fix.   
      
   MIKE : What does that even mean?   
   KEVIN: It's their new slogan.  It tested better than "There's   
       	worse ways to die."   
      
   > Mercifully, the place was deserted – deserted, save for two   
   > women seated in the far corner booth loudly debating on whether   
   > or not Michelangelo was gay, autistic, both, or neither.   
      
   BILL : Michelangelo was a stoner.  Now Donatello?  Total queen!   
      
   > A sad-looking, mustachioed waiter with a nametag reading   
   > Alfred  led them to their seats and took their orders, before   
   > leaving the two alone.   
      
   MIKE : Guess "Chad" isn't a popular name in the U.K.   
      
   > For a while, neither of them could talk, instead looking out on   
   > the river covered in fog made yellow by the dirty street lamps,   
   > and listening to both the women's increasingly heated   
   > discussion and the tinny eighties-era jukebox as it played   
   > "Holding Out."   
      
   KEVIN: Props for not playing Beyonce or Lady Gaga, I guess...   
      
   > Finally, Hermione spoke. "So how's Ginny?"   
      
   BILL : [Harry] Fat.  Skanky.  Horrible.  Same ol' same ol'. How's   
       	Ron?   
   MIKE : [Hermione]  Killed him. Turned his body into a log.  Threw   
       	him in the fireplace.   
   BILL : [Harry]  Hmm... I had fifty on "Killed by hooker."   
      
   > Harry shrugged. "Don't know. As of forty minutes ago, she's no   
   > longer my problem."   
   >   
   > "What do you mean?"   
      
   MIKE : [Harry] Sold her to a band of traveling gypsies.  Who knew   
       	Wizards did such a brisk slave trade?   
      
   > "I mean that I told her to get out."   
   >   
   > Hermione caught her breath. It took a moment before she could   
   > speak again. "Really?"   
      
   KEVIN: [Harry] Yes, but...  Really, Hermione – is the victory   
       	dance necessary?   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)