From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   > (A/N Hey guys! In response to my last note, I'd like to   
   > apologize for asking for reviews - it WAS pretty rude of me and   
   > I'm very, very, sorry *pouts* thanks for being loyal and   
   > getting me reviews anyway!   
      
   MIKE : Okay; props to Lady of Pale Emerald Fires - the name of   
       	the author, which we've been shamefully omitting up to now)   
       	for that.   
      
   > This chapter is a little different and longer than the last - I   
   > just thought we need some relief before the gathering storm   
   > *wicked grin*   
      
   KEVIN: Let me guess: The surviving Weasley clan shows up at   
       	Chateau Du Wishfulfillment for a massive showdown and   
       	Herminione and Harry destroy them all with The Power Of   
       	Love™.  Possibly, beautiful – and therefore good and pure –   
       	Fleur (and her husband, the one good Weasley) will help out.   
       	And there will absolutely no consequences for this wholesale   
       	slaughter, whatsoever.   
      
   BILL : You forgot to throw in a pre-or-post battle love scene so   
       	warm and fuzzy it would make a Harlequin writer gag.   
   KEVIN: Oooh! Good catch!   
      
   > As for the canon whores who just decided to show up...*yawn*   
   > Perhaps you should follow the advice of your Patron Goddess and   
   > "go back and reread" because you'll find I'm writing the   
   > redheads quite in character   
      
   MIKE : That takes some massive metaphorical balls to write with   
       	 no sign of a joke tag.   
   BILL : I wonder what color the sky is in her universe?   
      
   > Once again, thank you Raquelle for your magnificent beta'ing!)   
      
   KEVIN: And, once again, at least two people went through this and   
       	gave it the thumbs up.   
      
   > Harry kissed her again and again   
      
   MIKE : And again.  And again.  And again and again and again!   
      
   BILL: Get ahold of yourself, man!   
   MIKE : Thanks.  Sorry.  Vapor locked or something, there.   
      
   > as they wandered back from the streets, hand in hand – every   
   > time he looked at her he caught the way her eyes shone in the   
   > darkness, or the way the lamplight glinted off her hair, Harry   
   > knew he just had to have her. She, too, would surprise him with   
   > her kisses, which pressed against his cheek, his hair, and his   
   > lips like the softest of rose petals.   
      
   MIKE : Dialog by the Harlequin Bodicerip'o'matic 5000.   
      
   > When they finally arrived home, they took a moment from their   
   > amorous intentions to check on the children.   
      
   BILL : For about five seconds each.   
   KEVIN: [Hermione] YOUOKAYKIDSOKAYGOODNIGHT!  Kids are fine.  It's   
       	 time for the sexy!   
   MIKE : [Harry] Shouldn't you at least open the door?   
   KEVIN: [Hermione] I SAID "IT'S TIME FOR THE SEXY!"   
      
   > First, they went to see Harry's children – for no matter what   
   > that Weasley bitch said, they would always be his children -   
      
   BILL : We'll see if you're still saying that when you're filling   
       	out those child support checks?>   
      
   > and saw they were all tucked in, the moonlight shining across   
   > their faces and bathing them in a celestial glow.   
      
   ALL  : o/~AAAAAH-MEEEEEEN! o/~   
      
   > A quick look into the guest bedroom left Hermione nearly in   
   > tears; to see Rose and Hugo curled up in their twin beds,   
   >  smiling gently, the age brought on by years of torment and   
   > abuse dropped from their faces...it brought on a swell of   
   > unimaginable relief within her breast, and she fell against   
   > Harry for support.   
      
   KEVIN: Oh my God - she swooned! We have actual swoonage, people!   
   MIKE : We need a fainting couch, some smelling salts and a cool   
       	 cloth for her fevered brow - STAT!   
      
   > He picked her up and carried her into the master bedroom as a   
   > bridegroom would his new bride. And indeed, it was a marriage   
   > of sorts.   
      
   BILL : In a definition of "marriage"  so loose, it might as well   
       	be written in Simlish.   
      
   > Perhaps not a marriage of legality,   
      
   MIKE : Which is good, since you're both legally still married to   
       	other people and the moment that changes, one of you is   
       	going to Azkaban.   
      
   > where mere words on a piece of paper and a mere shower of   
   > sparks would bond one to another, but a marriage of spirit,   
   > where that most holy and sacred of acts, performed in love,   
   > would meld two kindred souls together into an unbreakable   
   > force.   
      
   KEVIN: Yeah, yeah.  Power of Love™  Blah blah blah. Fast-forward   
       	to the morning after, would you?   
      
   > The bedroom itself was sumptuous. Decorated in dark, Gryffindor   
   > colors, the bed was made of mahogany, burnished like a throne.   
   > rich red velvet curtains hung from its four posts, while above   
   > the charmed engravings of lions and dolphins cavorted across   
   > the intricately carved ceiling.   
      
   KEVIN: Dolphins?  Really?   
   BILL : Unless they're preceded by the words "Miami" or "Flipper   
       	The", no straight man will decorate his bedroom with   
       	dolphins.   
   MIKE : And just how many gay men do you suppose would go for the   
       	Flipper décor?   
   BILL : About 0.03% – which is still infinitely more than the   
       	straights.   
      
   > Harry noticed that Mary must have sensed what would occur   
   > between the two, for she had brought all of Hermione's things   
   > to his bedroom.   
      
   MIKE : Actually, she had "Replace Ginny" spells prepared years   
       	ago.  She just crossed out "Luna" and wrote "Hermione" in.   
      
   > Harry placed her gently, tenderly on the bed after leaving one   
   > last kiss on her lips. "Hermione," he said softly, gazing   
   > lovingly into her chocolate brown eyes. "I know this will sound   
   > tremendously old fashioned, but would you prefer it if we   
   > waited a bit before...before going through with this?"   
      
   MIKE : Cue the Janet Jackson music.   
   BILL : Young, Control-era Janet, not later pan-sexual Janet,   
   right?   
   MIKE : Naturally.   
   "Why?" Hermione asked, puzzled.   
   KEVIN: [Harry] I just realized I'm not that attracted to you.  Go   
   figure.   
      
   > "I...I don't feel ready for it just yet. I've been through so   
   > much today, and so have you,   
      
   BILL : [Harry] You murdering your husband.  My wife's seat not   
       	being cold before you showed up.  Kinda kills the mood, to   
       	be honest.   
      
   > and I want to take this one step at a time. We can sleep here   
   > together tonight, side by side,   
      
   KEVIN: Chastely...   
      
   > but as for that...I simply want to wait."   
      
   MIKE : [Harry] Well, that, and it's been years since I had to   
       	break out the Cialis Allnightus spell.   
      
   > Hermione, in a voice full of newfound understanding, replied,   
      
   KEVIN: [Hermione] Screw that!  Hermione want sex!   
      
   > "Of course we can wait, darling. It's almost like losing your   
   > virginity again, isn't it?   
      
   BILL : [trying not to laugh] No, it isn't!   
      
   > You know it's so important, that you don't want just to share   
   > it with the person you love you want everything to be right –   
   >  the moment, the mood, everything."   
      
   MIKE : So you're saying a sixty-second rut in the backseat of a   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)