From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   > Set in the 17th century, the year is 1691.   
      
   BILL: If she runs into Lestat, I quit.   
      
   > Chapter 3: Roxanne.   
      
   ALL: [Loudly and offkey] YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON THE RED DRESS!   
      
   > It was dark, the moon was out and the stars were twinkling, almost   
   > as if they were winking at the city below.   
      
   KEVIN: Actually, they were holding their collective nose at the smell   
   of bad hygiene and worse sanitation coming from the city.   
      
   >  The night was warm, which was rather unusual for Scotland,   
   > especially this time of the year.   
      
   MIKE: Which tells me that even the weather bows to Roxy's   
   awesomeness.   
      
   > A young woman was being driven home by her personal driver, she was   
   > a beautiful young woman, her black hair tied up in a beautiful bun,   
   > her flesh pink both from the het of the night and the heat in the   
   > carriage,   
      
   BILL: As she was busy getting busy with her footman.   
   MIKE: As you do.   
   BILL: As you do.   
      
   > her ocean blue eyes were dusted in a pale pink that shimmered as   
   > the carriage passed numerous candle lit windows and her pouted soft   
   > lips were painted a stunning crimson.   
      
   KEVIN: She's beautiful enough to make poets weep. WE GET IT!   
      
   > She was just sitting in the back, having run out from a ball, in   
   > which her father had arranged for a man named Jason to take her   
   > hand in marriage. This was Roxanne Jones...daughter of Lord   
   > Alexander Jones and Lady Abigail Jones.   
      
   MIKE: A bit of info I'm sure will be massively important later.   
      
   > Of course, Alexander and Abigail had been in an arranged marriage,   
   > so their daughter was to be too. Being born on 21st July 1669, she   
   > was now 20 years old,   
      
   BILL: Just in case you folks can't do math.   
      
   > and her father had tried to get her to marry many men. Each time,   
   > she had cooly declined them.   
      
   KEVIN: Which I'm sure went over well in 17th century Scotland.   
      
   > As the carriage took her home, they went over something that felt   
   > like a bump...the carriage stopped and Roxanne looked out. Only to   
   > see a man lying in the road...after presumably being hit by the   
   > carriage.   
      
   MIKE:  [Incredulously] Exactly how fast was that carriage going?   
   KEVIN: Roxy told the driver to step on it; she wanted to catch "The   
   Real Housewives of Aberdeen."   
      
   > Roxanne got out and hastily ran over to the man.   
   >   
   > "Are you alright sir?" She asked.   
   >   
   > 'What happened to you?' She thought.   
      
   BILL: Takin' a guess, you ran him over.   
   MIKE: [Roxy] Hmm... That would explain the wheel marks on his head.   
      
   > The man groaned and Roxanne got her driver over to her.   
   >   
   > "Put him into the back of the carriage...I'm going to take him home   
   > and take care of him" she said.   
   >   
   > The driver gave her a look, but Roxanne sighed.   
   >   
   > "Now Donald," she said.   
      
   KEVIN: Ah, so that's her flaw - deep personal stupidity!   
      
   > He nodded and picked the pale man up. He put him in the back of the   
   > carriage and Roxanne got in aswell. She then told Donald to get   
   > them home, as soon as possible.   
   >   
   > ******TF******   
      
   [All start to sing the scene change bumper, but trail off]   
      
   MIKE: That's not really gonna work here, is it?   
   BILL: Probably not...   
      
   > When Roxanne arrived home, she instructed Donald to put the man   
   > into one of the spare bedrooms in the manor. Donald did it and   
   > Roxanne went in after him.   
      
   KEVIN: [Donald] Shall I fetch M'lady's leather things or shall she   
   simply be hitting it "raw dog" tonight?   
      
   > "Geh me a bowl of water and a cloth plese Donald" she said.   
   >   
   > "Aye Mi'lady" Donald said.   
      
   MIKE: [Donald] "Naughty Nurse" it is, then.   
   BILL: [Donald] "Geh-ing" it right away, M'lady.   
      
   > 'Why were you in the road you poor man?' Roxanne thought.   
      
   KEVIN: [Man] Not getting run down by a carriage.   
      
   > He went to go do what his lady had told him to do and when he came   
   > back, Roxanne was stroking the injured mans' hair.   
      
   BILL: [Donald] If M'lady would just put a hanger on the doorknob...   
      
   > "Thank you Donald, tha' will be all" she said.   
   >   
   > As Donald went to walk out,   
      
   MIKE: And started to make a beeline for the liquor cabinet.   
   KEVIN: [Donald] Sweet mother booze - take me in your mind-blasting   
   embrace!   
      
   > Roxanne thought of something.   
   >   
   > "Actualleh, could you get 'im some bed clothes? There should be   
   > some in Forbes' closet" she said.   
      
   BILL: {Roxy] And while you're at it, can find out why my accent keeps   
   fading in and out?   
      
   > Donald bowed his head a little.   
   >   
   > "Aye Mi'lady" he said.   
      
   MIKE: [Donald, muttering] You empty headed little bi...   
   BILL: [Roxy] What was that?   
   MIKE:  [Donald] I's said "I'll BE right back!"   
      
   > He went and did what was asked of him and when he came back,   
   > Roxanne stepped out of the room to allow Donald to dress the man in   
   > the bed. Once he was done, she dismissed him   
      
   KEVIN: [Roxy] Thanks for doing all the grunt work.  Now get out.   
      
   > and put the wet cloth onto the injured mans head. Then he woke   
   > up...   
   >   
   > "Wh-where am I?" He asked.   
      
   ALL: Hell!   
      
   > Roxanne jumped back, but then smiled.   
      
   MIKE: Then she mounted him at a dead run.   
      
   > "You are in my home...yeh had an accident. Me name's Roxanne, what   
   > is yours?" She asked.   
   >   
   > "J-James Young" he said.   
      
   BILL: [James] Miss Jackson, if y're nasty!   
      
   > He then passed out again...Roxanne put her hand on his head,   
      
   KEVIN: [Roxy] Ye Olde Roofies work their magic once again!   
      
   >  and felt he was very cold,   
      
   MIKE: And you didn't notice this when you were running your hands   
   through his hair before?   
   BILL:  Again; "very stupid."   
      
   > and his wounds weren't bleeding.   
   >   
   > "What in the name of...?" She said.   
   >   
   > 'How odd' she thought.   
   >   
   > ******TF******   
      
   [The Transformers' bumper is played with bagpipes]   
      
   MIKE: Kevin, where the hell did you get those bagpipes?   
   KEVIN: Keep 'em under the desk.  Surprised you never noticed before.   
      
   > A few months laer.   
      
   BILL: ERMEGERD! IT'S LAER!   
   MIKE: You know that's not going to age well, right?   
   BILL: Don't care; funny now.   
      
   > Roxanne and James were in a relationship (Much to her father's   
   > chargin)   
      
   MIKE: So she can defy her father's marital arrangements and hapilly   
   boink Roadkill McImavampire there, consequence-free?   
   KEVIN: Thrill as our heroine defies societal mores... she probably   
   didn't know were there.   
      
   > , and they were so in love.   
      
   ALL: Suuuure they were!   
      
   > James decided to go into Roxanne's house and asked to see Lord   
   > Alexander Jones.   
      
   BILL:  "Roxanne's house", Not "Lord Alexander's house."  Sure, fic,   
   whatever.   
      
   > "Yes?" Lord Alexander asked.   
   >   
   > James bowed his head and then looked back up at the taller man.   
   > Lord Alexander was a tall man, with black hair and a black   
   > moustache. His brown eyes were intimidating to the strongest of   
   > men. He originally lived in England, but his own parents were   
   > Scottish.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)