From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   [We open with the normal silhouettes of the CT crew walking to the   
   Riffing Chamber.  They're conversing with The Rep, the nameless   
   liaison.]   
      
   THE REP:  I can't apologize enough for what happened the last   
   time...   
      
   MARY JO: No, you can't.   
      
   THE REP: But I assure you we've taken steps to ensure that at least   
   you'll get some warning when such... questionable content is   
   offered up.   
      
   FRANK  : Seriously, did you guys do no background on what we did?   
   "Sidehackers" man!  "Sidehackers!"   
      
   THE REP: Yes, we're aware of the unpleasantness of "Sidehackers"   
   [aside]Now...  But as I said, we're vetting the material now.   
   Mostly.   
      
   JOEL   : Mostly?   
      
   THE REP: Well, mostly doing searches of the text for trigger   
   phrases and key words?  Granted, a positive wouldn't automatically   
   disqualify a work...   
      
   JOSH   : Yeah yeah, can the ass-covering.  What've you got for us,   
   today?   
      
   THE REP: It's a fanfic called "Harry Potter and the Senshi Circle?"   
      
   TRACE  : Oh, goody!  A crossover!   
      
   FRANK  : o/~ Fighting evil by moonlight/Playing Quiddich by   
   daylight o/~   
      
   THE REP: You might want to save that for the chamber.  It's kind of   
   a long one, but I have been assured it's fun... Ish.   
      
   JOSH   :  That's not ominous at all.   
      
   THE REP: It's from the same author of some of your previous works:   
   "Life's Surprises" and "New Beginnings".   
      
   MARY JO: Once again - not really us.   
      
   TRACE  : Though I did read that one on that thing that was kinda   
   funny.   
      
   THE REP: And as always, please insert the nanotated disk into the   
   time tube at the end of the story.   
      
   JOEL   : Yeah, We've meaning to ask about that.  Just what does   
   "annotated…"   
      
   [The Rep runs off]   
      
   JOSH   :  That's not ominous at all, either.   
      
   > (This fic will delve into everybody's favourite book, HARRY   
   > POTTER!!   
      
   MARY JO: And there was much rejoicing.   
   ALL    :  Yay.   
      
   > I couldn't resist, Ami-chan!!  Kobito, stop making those faces, and   
   > Neko-chan, quit jumping up and down I'll turn the cat orange in   
   > honour of your hair before I'm done.   
      
   JOSH   : Guys, the author's talking to the voices in her head!   
      
   > You'll see what I'm talking about.   
      
   JOEL   : After this episode of... Soap!   
      
   > On we go!!)   
      
   ALL    : HUZZAH!   
      
   > Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners, and   
   > special thanks to J.K. Rowling for creating such a schway (yes,   
   > Kawaiito, SCHWAY!!) universe.   
      
   TRACE  : We have a severe fangirl warning for Crossover County.   
   Authorities have spotted a line of Batman Beyond references in the   
   area.   
      
   >  Note, here, the idea of Touma burning food in this way was   
   > concocted not by me, but by the ever-resourceful Mrs. Strata.   
      
   FRANK  : Questions:  "Who?" and "Who?"   
   MARY JO: Careful - we may find out.   
      
   > Madam, we all salute you. Well, maybe except Silverfox's Greenie,   
   > he'll just sniff you.   
      
   JOEL   : That sounds kinda dirty.   
      
   > Ch. 1   
   >   
   > Hogwarts, Hogwarts,   
      
   TRACE : Burning bright.  Dumbledore flaming in the night.   
   ALL    : *GROAN*   
   JOSH   : For shame, Trace!   
   TRACE  : You're just mad I beat you to that one.   
   JOSH   : Not the point.   
      
   > Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,   
   >   
   > Teach us something please.   
      
   JOEL   : "2 + 2,"  “proper sentence structure,”  "why people think   
   Lady Gaga is original."   
   FRANK  : "Something."   
      
   > Whether we be old and bald   
      
   MARY JO: Oh, we're going with 1950s school kids!   
      
   > Or young with scabby knees.   
   >   
   > -Part of the Hogwarts school song.   
      
   JOSH   : Explains a lot about the wizarding school system,   
   actually.   
      
   > Harry awoke to the sound of shrill shrieking just outside of his   
   > door.   
      
   JOEL   : [Harry] Damn fangirls!  Can't I get a day to myself?   
      
   > Wrenching the curtains on his bed apart, he stumbled out into the   
   > corridor where he found none other than Hermione shrieking.   
      
   FRANK  : Mostly because he stepped out naked.   
   TRACE  : Hey now!   
   MARY JO: [Hermione] Oh my God, is that supposed to look like that!?   
      
   > "See here, Hermione, what's all this noise?"   
   >   
   > Hermione turned to Harry, her face lit up with glee.   
      
   JOSH   : [Hermione] You're naked!  Perfect!   
      
   > "I've just gotten an owl from my parents. They say they've gotten a   
   > letter that some guest students are coming to Hogwarts next year!"   
      
   JOEL   : Naturally, they told the parents before they told the   
   students.   
   MARY JO: And just as naturally, this made you run all the way to   
   the boys' dorm and start screaming!   
      
   > "Oh?" Ron had joined them, looking not much more awake than Harry   
   > was. "And who are they?"   
   >   
   > "The Sailor Senshi!!"   
      
   FRANK  : [Ron] I repeat; "And who are they?"   
      
   > Touma frowned. "I've never heard of this 'Hogwarts," he said.   
      
   TRACE  : Hi Yo, Scene Change!  AWAY!   
      
   >  "How are we to know that this offer is legitimate? And how are you   
   > supposed to get there?"   
      
   JOEL   : By the magic of "Because The Plot Says So!"   
   JOSH   : The most powerful magic of all!   
      
   > Ami rolled her eyes and smiled. "We're taking a plane to London   
   > next week. Sometime over the summer, we're going to a place called   
   > Diagon Alley, where we'll buy our school stuff."   
      
   FRANK  : So basically...   
   ALL    : "Because The Plot Says So."   
      
   > She gently packed her henshin stick into the folds of her clothes.   
   > She'd need something to wear before getting her school robes. Touma   
   > sighed.   
   >   
   > "I would feel better about this if I could come with you."   
   >   
   > Ami kissed him on the forehead.   
      
   MARY JO: [Ami] Just shut up and be pretty for me, 'k?   
      
   > "I know you would, but I'm afraid it simply isn't possible.   
      
   TRACE  : [Touma] Why is that, exactly?   
   MARY JO: [Ami] Because shut up.   
      
   >  You've too much to deal with here with already without worrying   
   > about potions and spells and all that. Don't worry," she added.   
   > "We'll be fine."   
      
   JOEL   : That's almost as bad as saying "What's the worst that   
   could happen?"   
   FRANK  : Or "How bad can it be?"   
   TRACE  : Or "Oh, look!  Shyamalan is directing!"   
      
   > Hermione was whispering excitedly about which house which senshi   
   > would be sorted into.   
      
   JOSH   : With Harry and Ron fighting the urge to zap her with the   
   Shutthefuckupus curse.   
      
   > "I'm almost certain that Mercury will be in Ravenclaw," she said.   
   > "After all, she's supposed to be extremely smart…"   
      
   JOEL   : [Ron] You do realize that we have no bloody clue who these   
   people are?   
   MARY JO: [Hermione]  Don't you ever...   
   TRACE  : [Harry] If the rest of that sentence is "read the   
   newspapers", Ron and I start talking Quiddich. *Fantasy* Quiddich.   
   MARY JO: [Hermione] Shutting up, now!   
      
   > Harry speared a sausage. He glanced up at the ceiling of the Great   
   > Hall, which showed the sky outside to be a clear, balmy blue. He   
   > stuffed the unfortunate sausage into his mouth and chewed while   
   > Hermione prattled on.   
      
   JOSH   : [Harry, thinking] If I shove a sausage down her throat, is   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)