From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   > Ch. 4   
   >   
   > It's like rain on your wedding day,   
   >   
   > It's a free ride and you're already there.   
   >   
   > It's the good advice that you just didn't take,   
   >   
   > And who would've thought it figures?   
   >   
   > -Alanis Morissette, of course.   
      
   TRACE  : So what the hell does that have to do with anything?  You   
   decide, folks!   
      
   > "I see we have our new celebrities in class."   
      
   FRANK  : Uh oh: It's a Potter/One Direction crossover!   
      
   > Snape's voice was cold, soft and cruel. His cold dark eyes flicked   
   > over the Senshi seated in his class.   
   >   
   > "I will not abide showing off. I treat everyone here like a regular   
   > student, as Mr. Potter can easily testify." Sailormoon saw Harry's   
   > cheeks burn.   
   >   
   > "Now. Sailorchibimoon,   
      
   JOEL   : [Snape] No... No... I refuse to keep calling this girl   
   "Sailorchibimoon."  You have a name, don't you?   
      
   > could you tell me what seasonal plant is good for poison potions?"   
      
   MARY JO: Is it the "Summer Instant Death Squash?"   
      
   > "Which season, sir?" Chibimoon asked cautiously. Snape's eyes   
   > glittered, but not with fury. It was more something along the lines   
   > of amusement.   
   >   
   > "That would be the Yuletide season, Chibimoon."   
      
   JOSH   : [Chibiusa] I... don't know what that is.  Japanese,   
   remember?   
      
   > "I believe it would be the holly plant, as its leaves and   
   > especially its berry are quite poisonous."   
   >   
   > Snape looked at her very carefully, and Sailormoon was sure she saw   
   > a tiny smile tug at the corners of his mouth.   
   >   
   > "Correct," he said after a moment. "Twenty points to Gryffindor."   
   >   
   > There was a sharp intake of breath. Snape had just awarded points   
   > to Gryffindor!! Somewhere deep in the earth, the temperature was   
   > dropping quickly, Harry was sure.   
      
   MARY JO: Five bucks says Dumbledore put a "Don't be a dick to the   
   Japanese girls" spell on him.   
      
   > Snape began the lesson, picking on the Gryffindor Senshi for almost   
   > every question, and ignoring Hermione's often airborne hand.   
   >   
   > To everyone's surprise/relief (on the part of the other   
   > Gryffindors), the Senshi picked up on every single question,   
   > earning Gryffindor no less than 170 points. Ron was bug-eyed when   
   > the left the class.   
      
   FRANK  : [Ron] It's almost like he was a teacher or something!   
      
   > "I don't believe it!" he gasped. "Snape was fair! He didn't pick on   
   > Neville! He gave us points! I think the Slytherins may die of   
   > shock."   
   >   
   > "Only after you," Hermione laughed.   
   >   
   > Ron had a point as many Slytherins were quite silent after the   
   > potions lesson. What had happened to the cruel and unjust head of   
   > their house?? He'd acted like...like...well, like Professor   
   > McGonagall, that's who! Malfoy frowned.   
   >   
   > "What happened?"   
      
   JOEL   : [Draco] What happened to our home field advantage?   
   JOSH   : That is a very good question. A better question is "Will   
   we actually find out?"   
      
   > "Two more feet to go!" Sailormoon wailed. She let her History of   
   > Magic homework roll back up with a veritable sproing and flopped   
   > back into a chair in the Gryffindor Common Room. Hermione smiled.   
   >   
   > "You'll get it, Sailormoon. As it is, you're doing remarkably well.   
   > Five feet is really an accomplishment."   
      
   MARY JO: [Hermione] But I don't think making all your characters   
   four inches square is going to fly.   
      
   > "Perhaps, but it's not seven feet." Sailormoon sighed. "I want my   
   > Mamo-chan," she muttered in Japanese. Chibimoon glanced up slyly.   
      
   TRACE  : I'm not entirely sure what's going on there, but I'm   
   pretty sure I want you to stop.   
      
   > "Don't you mean my Mamo-chan?" She challenged. Within a few   
   > seconds, the argument had escalated to the point where Sailormoon   
   > had begun to chase Chibimoon around the room waving her sceptre at   
   > her menacingly. Venus sighed and gave an embarrassed smile to the   
   > dumbfounded Harry, Ron and Hermione.   
   >   
   > "Now they're starting to settle in."   
      
   JOEL   : Translation: You don't wanna know.   
      
   > They watched as Chibimoon taunted the enraged Sailormoon through   
   > the portrait hole and out of sight. After a few minutes, Hermione   
   > sighed.   
   >   
   > "We'd better go after them before Filch finds them," she sighed.   
   > Venus frowned. "Judging from the way they were running, they could   
   > be anywhere. How would we find them?"   
      
   FRANK  : "Follow the screaming" would be a good start.   
      
   > Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione, both of whom grinned. Harry ran   
   > upstairs into the boy's dormitory. When he had emerged again, he   
   > held a piece of old parchment in his hand and there was a slight   
   > lump under his clothes.   
      
   MARY JO: Oh, Harry, no!  Put that away!   
   TRACE  : Or wear a looser robe.   
   JOEL   : [Hermione] Looks like it's Icewaterus Downthepantsus time.   
      
   > "Let's get out of here first," he muttered, gesturing towards the   
   > portrait hole.   
      
   JOSH   : [Venus] I'm not going anywhere with you until you   
   "dismantle the big top" there.   
      
   > They all climbed out and had walked a little ways before Harry took   
   > out what had been under his robes.   
      
   ALL    : NOOOOO!   
      
   > Venus gasped as   
      
   ALL    : *NOOOOOO!*   
      
   > the silvery cloak was presented.   
      
   ALL    : Oh...   
      
   > "Nani desu ka?"   
      
   FRANK  : Japanese for "Da' hell?"   
      
   > she asked under her breath in amazement. Harry smiled.   
      
   TRACE  : She's seen wonders from actual other worlds, yet she's   
   gobsmacked by really shiny silk.   
      
   > "It's an invisibility cloak. And this," he said, taking out the   
   > piece of parchment. "Is a map of Hogwarts."   
   >   
   > He looked around cautiously then placed the tip of his wand onto   
   > the parchment.   
   >   
   > "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said and a spider   
   > web of lines started from his wand tip across the paper until   
   > before them was a map of Hogwarts. On the third floor were four   
   > dots, labelled "Sailorvenus", "Hermione Granger", "Ronald Weasley"   
   > and "Harry Potter". Venus grinned.   
      
   JOSH   : It's showing "Sailorvenus", not "Minako Aino."  Sure.   
   Whatever, fanfic.   
      
   > "Cool," she whispered. Her eyes scanned for two specific dots. She   
   > found them racing through the dungeons up towards the Great Hall.   
   > Venus smiled.   
   >   
   > "We may be able to head them off. Let's go."   
   >   
   > "Just a sec," Harry said. He placed his wand tip on the map.   
   > "Mischief Managed" and the map wiped clean. He then threw the   
   > invisibility cloak over them and they all set off towards the Great   
   > Hall.   
      
   FRANK  : How many bad porn fics have included the words "he then   
   threw the invisibility cloak over them?"   
      
   > They edged their way past portraits snoozing in their frames and   
   > twice went through unsuspecting ghosts. They reached the Great Hall   
   > in time to hear the shrill angry voices of Moon and Chibimoon   
   > echoing towards them from the direction of the dungeons. They   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)