From: freezer88@hotSPAMTHISmail.com   
      
   > A/N: Hello my lovely readers!   
      
   ALL : Meh.   
      
   > I hope you all are enjoying your holidays.   
      
   BILL : Which one?   
   MIKE : All of them.   
      
   > Sorry I couldn't update sooner. I had 4 major projects due for the   
   > same class and now there all turned in and done!   
      
   KEVIN: I'm guessing English wasn't one of them.   
      
   > I can't tell you how many all- nighters I have had.   
      
   BILL : Braggard.   
      
   > I would have updated this yesterday but I was out all day   
   > celebrating my two friends' birthdays but one was at Long Beach   
   > California, but still.   
      
   BILL : I thought I was kidding about the bragging...   
      
   > This chapter is dedicated to my two friends whose birthdays were   
   > yesterday, December 23 and we had a lot of fun. And it is dedicated   
   > even more to my lovely reviewer: Phantombrick, xb0bugurl129, and   
   > soulless creature. This is a Christmas present or whatever holiday   
   > you are celebrating present to you guys and my readers.   
      
   MIKE : When did this turn into her Facebook?   
      
   > BTW: I forgot to mention that Sirius did not die.I thought it was   
   > too sad for him to die when I read the 5th book, so in my story he   
   > did not die.   
      
   KEVIN: [Author] The holes this would shoot through the last two   
          books?  Meh!  Who cares!   
      
   >  And just for convinence, Cedric did die. Sorry, but how weird   
   > would that be if Edward and Cedric met and they looked EXACTLY   
   > alike? (I am assuming that you have watched both movies because   
   > Cedric and Edward are both played by the same actor)   
      
   BILL : Except you thought Gildroy Lockhart looked like Edward.   
          You're not exactly scoring points, here.   
      
   > It would be funny, but not the point of the story, so Cedric did   
   > get killed by Voldemort.   
      
   MIKE : And I'm sure that bit of information will be vital to our   
          later  reading enjoyment!   
      
   > Disclaimer: I forgot to put the disclaimer on the last chapter so   
   > this disclaimer is for both chapters 2 and 3. I do not own   
   > Twilight, Harry Potter, and Buffy, Pirates of the Caribbean or any   
   > other character. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, J.K. Rowling, WB   
   > Network, and Disney.   
   >   
   > I hope you like it!   
      
   BILL : More doubtful by the minute!   
      
   > Chapter Three: Attacks and Greetings.   
      
   KEVIN: George Lucas' failed line of Hallmark cards.   
      
   > BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW   
   >   
   > I am currently in Edward's Volvo with Alice and Jasper. Rosalie,   
   > Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle have decided to take Emmett's Jeep.   
      
   MIKE : And the reason you all didn't get on a plane and fly to   
          Sunnydale was?  Isn't time of the essence now?   
   BILL : You can't have WACKY ROADTRIP HIJINKS in a private jet.   
   MIKE : You know what you can have?  A short trip.   
      
   > They are following us as we are driving through Oregon. Alice was a   
   > bit pissed off because I took the phone away from her while she was   
   > talking to Buffy. Good thing Jasper is with us because she has   
   > calmed down but can't stop bouncing in her seat. I was saving my   
   > sister from the evil little pixie that is Alice. I guess she will   
   > have to meet her soon enough, but I will let her have a bit of   
   > peace and quiet before she meets Alice.   
      
   KEVIN: I... assume that was supposed to be funny?   
   MIKE : I don't recall Alice being this vapid and annoying before.   
          Granted, most of my memories of Twilight involve Kristen   
          Stewart and Robert Pattinson standing around looking vaguely   
          confused.   
      
   > Edward was holding my hand while driving and I was watching the   
   > scenery pass by through the window.   
      
   BILL : [Bella] He was watching me in that creepy, emontionless way   
          of his.  *SIGH* How I love that man!   
      
   >  We were going at least 100 miles per hour, which still made me a   
   > little uneasy but I'm used to it.   
      
   MIKE : [Bella] Mortal peril only I am vulnerable to.  Meh.   
      
   >  I just barely noticed that we passed the sign that read "Welcome   
   > to California." It wouldn't be long now, until we get to Sunnydale.   
      
   BILL : They ever figure out just where the hell Sunnydale is -   
          other than "in California?"   
   KEVIN: I think it's next to Springfield, just south of Quahog.   
      
   > I guess I had dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was being   
   > shaken awake by Edward and we were parked in a familiar driveway.   
   > As Edward held the door open I can hear someone yelling out from   
   > the house.   
      
   MIKE : [Buffy] It sounded like "Dang smoochers?"   
      
   > And it sounded a lot like….OH NO!   
   >   
   > A/N: I was going to cut it off there, but then I remembered that   
   > it's the holidays. This part is for you, Silvara713. Thanks for the   
   > idea!   
      
   BILL : [teeth gritted] Yes.  Thank you, Silvara713...   
      
   > EMMETT'S POINT OF VIEW   
      
   MIKE : And the choir sang "Which one is he, again?"   
      
   > (THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!)   
      
   ALL  : DOUBT IT!   
      
   > trying to wake my new little sister up. Alice was acting strange.   
   > We had finally parked in the driveway of Bella's sister's house. It   
   > was a nice house. When I got out of the car, I saw that Edward was   
      
   KEVIN: So acting like a undead Pinkie Pie is normal for her?   
      
   > She didn't run up to the front door to meet her next Barbie dress   
   > up doll as I had expected. She was just standing there, looking at   
   > me with the biggest grin on her face that was starting to freak me   
   > out.   
      
   BILL :  [Emmitt] Yeesh... Serious Joker face.   
      
   > It was taking Edward forever to wake up his wife and I couldn't   
   > wait to meet my new sister-in-law, so I made my way to the front   
   > door. I stood in front of the door and rang the door bell. About   
   > three minutes of waiting, the door swung open revealing a girl who   
   > I was assuming was Bella's sister, Buffy.   
      
   MIKE : Giles never lived that incident down.   
      
   > She didn't look very much like Bella as I had suspected.   
      
   KEVIN: [Emmitt] It was like they were completely unrelated people!   
      
   > She had blonde hair instead of brown and crystal blue eyes instead   
   > of brown. She had the same heart shaped face and nose.   
      
   BILL : In other words, she was actually pretty, rather than   
          allegedly pretty.   
      
   > I wonder if she is as clumsy as Bella, too. I hope so. I mean,   
   > wouldn't it be funny to have TWO Bella's falling all the time?! WAY   
   > BETTER THAN TELEVISION!   
      
   MIKE : I think Emmitt is dipping into whatever is making Alice go   
          all WACKYRANDOM!   
      
   > I wonder if I can make her out of breath to? Let's find out.   
      
   KEVIN: Going in cold to surprise the vampire slayer.  I see nothing   
          wrong with this plan!   
      
   > I ran towards her with open arms and the next thing I knew, she had   
   > put me in a head lock and I was staring at the ceiling. I was then   
   > blinded and couldn't see. I began to panic and yelled out for my   
   > Rosie.   
      
   BILL : Emmitt Cullen: Immortal Vampire Puss!   
      
   > BUFFY'S POINT OF VIEW   
      
   KEVIN: [Buffy] Some big pretty vamp just tried to bear hug me at my   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)