XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   [ ALL file in to the theatre. ]   
      
   > SLEEPY-TIME TALES   
      
     TOM:	      Oh yeah, these guys.   
      
   > THE TALE OF FATTY COON   
      
    CROW:	   So what exactly happened the first five chapters of this thing?   
      
   > BY ARTHUR SCOTT BAILEY   
      
    MIKE: I remember it. Fatty Coon is a raccoon who eats a lot, and his author   
   hates him.  ... There, you're caught up.   
      
   >   
   >	VI   
      
     TOM: MURIEL!   
     CROW: THELMA!   
      
   >   
   >	FATTY AND THE GREEN CORN   
      
    MIKE: That's my favorite psychedelic pop album.   
      
   >   
   >	It was mid-summer when Fatty Coon had what he then believed to   
   > be the finest time in all his life.   
      
    CROW: When he hijacked that truck carrying cherry pie filling.   
      
   >                                     And later, when he was older, he   
   > still thought that nothing had ever happened to him that was quite so   
   > enjoyable as that surprise his mother gave him when he was a young   
   > coon.   
      
     TOM: 'When he was older'?  Wait, that means he lives!   
    MIKE: Hey, spoilers!  I haven't read this yet.   
      
   >   
   >	Of course it was something to eabtthe surprise. You must have   
   > guessed that, knowing Fatty Coon as you do.   
      
    CROW: *I* expected it was going to be the summer he got into voice acting.   
      
   >   
   >	"Come, children!" Mrs. Coon said.   
      
    MIKE: What do you suppose Fatty's siblings who *didn't* rate their own book   
   are like?   
      
   >                                         "Come with me! I'm going to   
   > give you a treabtsomething specially nice."   
      
    CROW: We're going out to watch 'The Hound That Thought He Was A Raccoon'.   
      
   >   
   >	"Is it something to eat?" Fatty asked,   
      
     ALL: *Groan*.   
      
   >                                              as they started off in   
   > the direction of Farmer Green's fields.   
   >   
   >	"Yebsand the best thing you ever tasted," Mrs. Coon said.   
      
    MIKE: It's your enemies coming to you and saying you were right all along!    
   In public!   
      
   >   
   >	Fatty was greatly excited. His little bright eyes turned green   
   > in the moonlight.   
      
     TOM: Color-shifting raccoon alerts you to open Wifi networks in the area.   
      
   >                   He wondered what the surprise would be. And, as   
   > usual, he was very hungry. He walked close beside his mother, for he   
   > wanted to be the first to taste the surprise.   
      
    CROW: No, no, you want to smell the surprise, let its aroma paint a picture   
   for your mouth.   
      
   >                                               You would think that he   
   > would have wanted his two sisters to taste it first, and his brother   
   > Blackie, too. But you must not forget that Fatty was greedy.   
      
    CROW: We are incapable of forgetting that Fatty is greedy.   
    MIKE: On my deathbed, my last thoughts?  My family?  My friends?  My   
   childhood?  No, it's going to be 'Fatty is a greedy raccoon'.   
      
   >                                                              And   
   > greedy people are not thoughtful of others.   
   >   
   >	When Mrs. Coon turned out of the lane and crawled through the   
   > fence, Fatty squeezed between the rails very nimbly, for him.   
      
     ALL: [ Grunting, struggling noises. ]   
      
   >   
   >	"Here we are!" said his mother.   
      
    CROW: Dunkin Donuts!   
      
   >   
   >	Fatty looked about him. They stood in a field grown high with   
   > tall stalks of some sort, which turned to green, ribbon-like leaves   
   > half way up from the ground. Fatty grunted. He was very impolite, you   
   > see.   
      
     TOM: I hate these corny scenes.   
    MIKE: [ Lifts a hand to his forehead. ]   
      
   >   
   >	"Welblwhat is there to eat that's so fine?" he asked. "This   
   > stuff isn't good. It's like eating reeds." He had already bitten into   
   > one of the stalks.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mrs Coon ] 'This, children, is raw High Fructose Corn Syrup!'   
      
   >   
   >	"What do you call that?" Mrs. Coon asked. She showed Fatty a   
   > long roll of green that grew out of one of the stalks.   
      
     TOM: 'Uh, uh, uh ... walnut trimmings! ...  I panicked.'   
      
   >   
   >	"That's something like a cattail," said Fatty. "It isn't good   
   > to eat."   
   >   
   >	"Have you ever tried one?" asked his mother.   
      
    MIKE: Fatty's siblings are really engaged with the cornfield here.   
      
   >   
   >	"bNno," Patty said. "But Freddie Bluejay told me they weren't   
   > good."   
      
    CROW: Patty?   
      
   >   
   >	"He did, did he?"   
      
     TOM: 'Was this before or after you batter-dipped him?'   
      
   >                          Mrs. Coon said nothing more. She stood up on   
   > her hind legs and pulled one of the tall stalks down until she could   
   > reach that long, green thing that grew there.   
      
    CROW: [ Flustered ] Um ... oh, gosh, Mrs Coon!   
      
   >                                               In a jiffy she had torn   
   > it from its stalk.   
      
    MIKE: [ Burying his head in his hands. ] Now you've got me thinking it!   
      
   >                    And then she stripped the green covering off it.   
      
     TOM: I ... I ...   
      
   > "Try that!" said Mrs. Coon with a smile.   
      
     TOM: Yeah, I'm dead.  I died.  There is no more me.   
      
   >   
   >	Of course it was Fatty who tasted it first.   
      
    MIKE: Why do you have to do this to us, Crow?   
      
   >                                                   He took a good   
   > mouthful of the white kernels, and he was overjoyed.   
      
    CROW: Hey, at least it's not going to get any more ...   
      
   >                                                      Such sweetness!   
   > Such delicious, milky juice! It was a moment that Fatty never forgot.   
      
   [ CROW falls over, out of frame. ]   
      
   >   
   >	Fatty began tearing down the stalks for himself and he never   
   > said another word until at last he simply had to stop eating just to   
   > catch his breath.   
      
     TOM: You suppose this is what it was like when Cookie Monster had his first   
   Thin Mint?   
      
   >   
   >	"What's its name, Mother?" he inquired.   
      
    CROW: [ Returning ] Hello, Mother ... hello, fodder.   
      
   >   
   >	"Corn, my child."   
      
    MIKE: [ Mrs Coon ] Uh, is everyone else still with us?  You didn't eat your   
   siblings again, did you, Fatty?   
      
   >   
   >	"Well, why doesn't Freddie Bluejay like it?" Fatty asked.   
   >   
   >	"He's probably very fond of corn," said Mrs. Coon.   
      
    CROW: And he wants to mess with your head ever since you ate his family.   
      
   >                                                           "And I've   
   > no doubt he was afraid that you would eat up this whole field, once   
   > you started."   
      
     TOM: I'm on Freddie's side here.   
      
   >   
   >	"I'd like to," said Fatty, with a sigh. "I'd like to eat all   
   > the corn in the world."   
      
    CROW: He's, like, this close to being either a Harvey Comics character or a   
   supervillain.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >	VII   
      
     TOM: Sequel to the classic miniseries V.   
      
   >   
   >	JOHNNIE GREEN IS DISAPPOINTED   
   >   
   >	It made Fatty Coon feel sad, just to think that there was that   
   > field full of corn, and that he could never eat all of it.   
      
    CROW: Yeah, well, no matter how long you grow your hair you can never have   
   all the hair, ever think of that?   
      
   >                                                            But Fatty   
   > made up his mind that he would do the best he could. He would visit   
   > the cornfield every night and feast on those sweet, tender kernels.   
      
    MIKE: You know, this is hard enough without the text making the jokes we want   
   to make about Fatty here.   
      
   >   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)