XPost: alt.fan.mst3k, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >     XX   
      
     TOM: The departure of Xander Cage.   
      
   >   
   >	THE TRACKS IN THE SNOW   
      
    CROW: o/` Go round and round, round and round ... o/`   
   [ MIKE puts his hand on CROW's shoulder.]   
      
   >   
   >	One fine winter's day Fatty Raccoon   
      
    MIKE: Who *had permission* by the way.  He wasn't just swiping days off of   
   winter.   
      
   >                                           came upon the queerest tracks   
   > in the snow.   
      
    CROW: It's just the Gay and Non-Binary Rail Road.  No big deal.   
      
   >              They were huge---a great deal bigger, even, than   
   > bear-tracks,   
      
     TOM: Maybe they were Big Bear tracks?  Did you think of that?   
      
   >              which Fatty had sometimes seen, for once in a while,   
   > before the weather grew too cold,   
      
    MIKE: After the weather grew that tall, though.   
      
   >                                   and he fell into his winter's sleep,   
   > a bear would come down into the valley from his home on Blue Mountain.   
      
    CROW: That is a lot of comma-splicing.   
    MIKE: Everybody's got to have some writing quirk.   
      
   >   
   >	But these were six times as big as bear tracks.   
      
     TOM: Is that six times in diameter or in area?   
    MIKE: Six times in duration.   
      
   >                                                       And Fatty felt   
   > a shiver of fear run up and down his back.   
      
    CROW: I won't believe he's scared until his tail spirals like a barberpole,   
   just like in the cartoons.   
     TOM: Jimmy Rabbit?   
      
   >   
   >	He followed the trail a little way. But he was very careful.   
   > He was always ready to scramble up a tree,   
      
    CROW: Bringing his frying pan, some melted butter, a little shredded cheese,   
   some onions and chopped peppers and he's set to scramble a tree for you.   
      
   >                                            in case he should suddenly   
   > see the strange animal---or rather, in case the strange animal should   
   > see HIM.   
      
    MIKE: The strange animal's the only creature in the forest who doesn't hate   
   Fatty!   
      
   >   
   >	The great tracks led straight toward Farmer Green's house.   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] Farmer Green has one of those walking houses?   
      
   >                                                                  And   
   > Fatty did not want to go there.   
      
     TOM: Too many painful memories of saying something awkward.   
      
   >                                 So he hurried home to ask his mother   
   > what he had found. Mrs. Raccoon listened to Fatty's story.   
      
    MIKE: [ As Mom ] This is more of a scenario than a story, Fatty.  Where's   
   insight into how people act?   
      
   >   
   >	"I think it must be the monster that almost caught me in the   
   > road last summer,"   
      
     TOM: Ooooooh, yeah.   
    CROW: Oh, this is it!  This is where all the threads of Fatty's life come   
   together!   
      
   >                    said Fatty, meaning the automobile that had given   
   > him a great fright.   
      
    MIKE: It wasn't that *great* a fright.  Just a pretty good fright.   
      
   >                     "Maybe he's come back again to catch Farmer Green   
   > and his family ... Do you suppose he's eaten them up?"   
      
    MIKE: [ As Mom ] Oh no, child.  When Farmer Green's eaten it'll be by finance   
   capitalism pushing him into debt, the right to own his equipment or even his   
   seeds, at the same time industrialism demands ecologically suicidal chemical   
   spraying alongside    
   climate change.   
      
   >   
   >	Mrs. Raccoon was puzzled. And she was somewhat alarmed, too. She   
   > wanted to see those strange tracks herself.   
      
     TOM: Mrs Raccoon doesn't get to do a lot of fun things for herself anymore.   
      
   >                                             So she told her other   
   > children not to step a foot out of the house until she came back.   
      
     ALL: [ As Fatty's siblings ] Yes, Mom ... *again*.   
    MIKE: You figure Fatty ever has to stay home while Mom deals with Fluffy's   
   issue?   
      
   >                                                                   And   
   > then she asked Fatty to run along and show her where he had come upon   
   > the monster's trail.   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] It'll be easy to find because I left it on the ground!   
      
   >   
   >	Fatty Raccoon felt very important,   
      
    MIKE: From his moustache on down.   
      
   >                                          as he led the way across the   
   > swamp and into the woods. It was not often that he could show his   
   > mother anything.   
      
     TOM: He's been showing her something every two chapters all book!   
      
   >                  And he was so proud that he almost forgot his fright.   
   >   
   >	"I guess you're glad I have sharp eyes," he said, as they   
   > hurried along.   
      
    MIKE: Fatty's got a smooth technique in fishing for compliments.   
      
   >   
   >	"If the tracks are as big as you say they are, your eyes   
   > wouldn't have to be very sharp to see them," his mother told him.   
      
     TOM: Ouch!   
    CROW: Major smackdown from Mrs Raccoon.   
      
   >                                                                   Mrs.   
   > Raccoon never liked to hear her children boast. She knew that boasting is   
   > one of the most unpleasant things anyone can do.   
      
    CROW: Next to eating potato chips with your mouth open.   
      
   >   
   >	"Well---maybe you don't think I saw the monster's tracks at   
   > all," said Fatty.   
      
     TOM: [ As Fatty ] Maybe I don't even exist!  Mom, you'd tell me if I didn't   
   exist, right?   
      
   >                   "Maybe you don't think I heard him screech---"   
      
    CROW: [ As Mom ] I think you think it's important whether you think I think   
   you heard him screech.   
     TOM: [ As Fatty ] Yeah!  ... ... What?   
      
      
   >   
   >	"When did you hear him screech?" Mrs. Raccoon asked. "This is the   
   > first you've said about SCREECHING. When was it?"   
      
    MIKE: Was it in the screechery zone?  We can get them ticketed if they were   
   outside the screechery zone   
     TOM: Fatty showed his Mom the monster last summer!  Why doesn't she know   
   about the screeching?   
      
   >   
   >	"Last summer," Fatty answered.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mom ] Last summer?!  How long did you *take* to get home?   
      
   >   
   >	Mrs. Raccoon didn't smile. Perhaps she was too worried for that.   
      
    MIKE: She's trying to figure out.  How does this involve the Tramp Raccoon,   
   Jimmy Rabbit and his imaginary brother, Jasper Jay, Farmer Green's son, and a   
   flivver?   
      
   >   
   >	"It may not be the same monster," she said. "It may not be a   
   > monster at all."   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ]  Don't tell me it's our own ids being projected against us   
   *again*!   
      
   >   
   >	But by this time Fatty was sure he was right. He was sure he   
   > knew more than his mother.   
      
     TOM: Ah, raccoons that age, think they have the whole world figured out.   
      
   >   
   >	"Why can't we go right over to Farmer Green's and take some of   
   > his chickens?" he asked.   
      
    MIKE: Why *mayn't* we go right over to Farmer Green's and take some of his   
   chickens.   
      
   >                          "The monster has probably eaten him by this   
   > time, and all his family, too."   
      
     TOM: Feels like Fatty is being an accelerationist with this monster issue.   
      
   >   
   >	But Mrs. Raccoon would do no such thing.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mom ] 'That's a Snuffy Smith thing to do, child.  We stay classy.'   
      
   >   
   >	"Show me the tracks," she said firmly.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)