[continued from previous message]   
      
   > bushes, watching his neighbors as they took naps in the   
   > sunshine.   
      
    CROW: Um.   
     TOM: Can we trade 'creepy protagonist' in on 'glutton' or 'cranky' please?   
      
   >           But when they awaked and stretched themselves, and   
   > went trotting off, there was not one of them that didn't take   
   > his tail right along with him.   
      
    JOEL: Oh just grow up and swipe a girl tail, Jimmy.   
      
   >   
   >         It was disappointing. Still, Jimmy Rabbit continued   
   > his search.   
      
     TOM: Then one day he tried looking at the backside of people and it changed   
   everything!   
      
   >   
   >         Now, Jimmy had decided that if he could only get a   
   > long tail he didn't care what color it was, if it was only a   
   > brownish yellow, to match the rest of him.   
      
     TOM: Hey, Crow, he's gonna steal *your* tail!   
    CROW: He can't have it!  It's mine!   
    JOEL: Huh?   
      
   >                                            And at last, as he   
   > was wandering through the woods one day, to his great joy he   
   > found almost exactly what he wanted.   
      
    CROW: But did he find what he *needed*?   
      
   >                                      Lying near a heap of   
   > chips was a beautiful tail!   
      
    JOEL: Some unfortunate kite is going to be so poorly ballasted.   
      
   >                             But it was red, with a black tip.   
   > That was the only drawback about it.   
      
     TOM: ... It was a carpenter's pencil?   
      
   >   
   >         This tail, however, was so handsome that Jimmy made   
   > up his mind that he would wear it, anyhow,   
      
    JOEL: And not in a weird way, so don't go thinking that.   
      
   >                                            even though it did   
   > not match his coat.   
      
    CROW: It looked so good with his jammies, though.   
      
   >                     So with a bit of string which he had   
   > carried with him for weeks for that very purpose, he tied the   
   > red tail to his own short stub.   
      
     TOM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, but what kind of knot did he use?   
    CROW: Bunnyline hitch.   
      
   >   
   >         There was great excitement among the forest-people   
   > when Jimmy Rabbit appeared among them.   
      
    JOEL: [ Whispering ] Did you hear about the carpenter's pencil?   
     TOM: [ Whispering ] I hear he brought the string himself!   
    CROW: [ Whispering ] What kind of knot is that?   
      
   >                                        Most everyone told him   
   > how much better he looked. In fact, old Mr. Crow was about   
   > the only person who didn't say something pleasant.   
      
     TOM: That's our Crow all right.   
    CROW: Hey!  ... also I wanna know what pleasant thing Grumpy Weasel said.   
    JOEL: 'That tail really shows off how nice seeing you leave is.'   
      
   >                                                    He only   
   > shook his head, and muttered something to himself about   
   > "handsome is as handsome does."   
      
    JOEL: [ As Forrest Gump ]  'Mama always said ... '   
      
   >                                 But Jimmy Rabbit paid little   
   > attention to him.   
      
     TOM: Is ... is he telling Jimmy to smile more?   
      
   >   
   >         "Whose tail is that?" Mr. Crow finally asked.   
      
    CROW: [ As the Wizard of Oz doorman ]  'WHOSE tail is that?'   
      
   >   
   >         "Mine, of course!" Jimmy told him.   
      
    JOEL: You think carpenter's pencils like this just grow on trees?   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, you'd better look out!" said Mr. Crow.   
      
    CROW: Is Santa Claus coming to town?   
      
   >                                                       "Unless   
   > that tail is bought and paid for, there's trouble ahead of   
   > you, young man."   
      
     TOM: That's our Crow all right.   
      
   >   
   >         To his friends Frisky Squirrel and Billy Woodchuck,   
      
     TOM: Who does *not* have a bushy tail.   
      
   > Jimmy said something about Mr. Crow in a low voice.   
      
    CROW: Rude!   
      
   >                                                     And they   
   > laughed loudly. Whereupon Mr. Crow flew away, croaking to   
   > himself about the shocking way children are brought up   
   > nowadays.   
      
    JOEL: Bird children are probably all brought up to the nest.   
      
   >           You know, Mr. Crow was a great gossip.   
      
     TOM: No lie detected!   
    CROW: [ grumps ]   
      
   >                                                  And   
   > everywhere he went that day he spread the news about Jimmy   
   > Rabbit's finding a red tail in the woods.   
      
    CROW: The cad!  He's telling everybody the news Jimmy's really happy about   
   and wants everyone to know!   
      
   >   
   >         Probably that was the pleasantest day of Jimmy   
   > Rabbit's life.   
      
     TOM: [ downbeat ] Oh.   
      
   >                But toward evening something startled him.   
      
    CROW: It's called sunset, Jimmy, you see that every day!   
      
   >                                                           He   
   > had been over to the brook, to look at himself in a pool. And   
   > he was coming back towards home when some one called:   
      
    JOEL: Is that you, Myrt?  How's every little thing?   
      
   >   
   >         "Hi, there, young fellow!"   
      
     TOM: Howdy, old interlocutor!   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit hurried along faster. He knew that it   
   > was a mink's voice.   
      
    JOEL: He saw it in the closed captioning.   
      
   >                     And he didn't like minks.   
      
    CROW: [ Tuts ]   
      
   >   
   >         Mr. Mink ran after him, calling "Stop, thief!" at the   
   > top of his voice.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ]  Sorry, the correct call is '*Halt*, thief!'   
    CROW: The judges would also have accepted 'Hold that roustabout!'   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit did not stop.   
      
    JOEL: Can't stop won't stop.   
     TOM: A history of the rabbit hop generation.   
      
   >                                    But he glanced around. And   
   > his heart sank as he saw that Mr. Mink had no tail!   
      
    CROW: Scandal and uproar!   
    JOEL: Rumor spreads the Mr Mink is secretly a guinea pig!   
      
   >                                                     At the   
   > same time Jimmy ran faster than ever.   
      
     TOM: Just has to run faster than Mr Mink.   
      
   >                                       He did not want even to   
   > speak to Mr. Mink, for he felt that by waiting to talk with   
   > him he had nothing at all to gain, and a great deal to lose.   
      
    JOEL: Jimmy's just going to make Thanksgiving the more awkward like this.   
      
   >   
   >         There was his new tail! He certainly did not want to   
   > part with that!   
      
     TOM: You think Jimmy's parents have seen his new tail by now?  What are they   
   telling him about this?   
    CROW: They're just happy for anything keeping him from talking about his   
   'brother'.   
     TOM: Oh yeah.   
      
   --   
                                                                   Joseph Nebus   
    Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com   
   Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com   
   --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)