XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 4 Making Somebody Happy]   
      
    CROW: [ Singing as Jimmy Durante ]  Make just one, somebody happy ...   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 4   
      
     TOM: A New Hope.   
      
   >   
   >         Making Somebody Happy   
      
    JOEL: Through recreational hypnosis.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Well, that very evening Jimmy Rabbit made a certain   
   > young neighbor very happy by hanging a May basket on her   
   > door.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] That's *my* door!   
      
   >       And then he hurried along to Henry Skunk's house.   
      
    CROW: He had to ask Henry Skunk where he kept his door.   
      
   >                                                         He   
   > hoped Henry was still there; for when Henry Skunk went out of   
   > an evening he seldom came home until morning.   
      
    JOEL: You wouldn't think they'd need someone working last shift what with it   
   being 1916 or whatever.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy hung the basket of eggs on the doorknob, rang   
   > the bell, and then ran and hid behind a tree. He peeped out,   
      
    CROW: Peep!   
     TOM: Peep peep!   
    JOEL: One more peep out of you ...   
      
      
   > as he heard the door open; and he saw Henry Skunk look all   
   > around.   
      
    CROW: Peep!   
      
   >         He seemed angry,   
      
     TOM: We're animals!  Why do we even *have* doorbells?   
      
   >                          until he caught sight of the basket.   
   > And then Henry Skunk certainly was pleased.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Henry Skunk ]  Now how does a basket ring a doorbell?   
      
   >   
   >         "Ah, ha!" he exclaimed. "A May basket! Now, I wonder   
      
    CROW: Isn't it November?   
      
   > what friend of mine has left this for me!" He looked inside   
   > the basket. "Ah, ha! Hens' eggs!" he cried.   
      
     TOM: Finally, a break from all these cow's eggs I've had to choke down!   
      
   >                                             "I'll sit down on   
   > my front steps and eat them. Then I won't have to give   
   > anybody else a taste."   
      
    CROW: I'll keep them to myself by eating them where everyone can see!   
      
   >   
   >         That was like Henry Skunk.   
      
     TOM: Indeed, it was *so* like Henry Skunk that it *was* Henry Skunk.   
      
   >                                    He was a selfish   
   > fellow--always greedy, never offering to share a dainty with   
   > anyone.   
      
    JOEL: Are eggs dainty?   
     TOM: Fussy Eggs are.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit was holding his mouth. He knew that if   
   > he laughed he would spoil everything.   
      
    CROW: Well, not the eggs.   
      
   >                                       As he listened, he   
   > heard a _snap_!   
      
     TOM: Eggs stay crispy in milk!   
      
   >                 And Henry Skunk said "Oh!" as if something   
   > hurt him, and surprised him, both. "I declare, I've broken a   
   > tooth!" he exclaimed.   
      
    CROW: I declare, I've broken a tooth.   
      
   >                       "That's the hardest egg I ever saw.   
      
    JOEL: Eh, I saw one harder.   
      
   > I'll try another." And he took another egg out of the basket.   
      
     TOM: Must have been boiled in hard water.   
      
   >   
   >         There was another _snap_! This time Henry cried "Ow!"   
   > It was queer, to break two teeth like that.   
      
    CROW: He takes breaking a tooth better than I take backing up into the   
   kitchen counter.   
      
   >                                             And he reached   
   > into the basket for the third egg. "It certainly can't happen   
   > again," Henry told himself.   
      
    JOEL: Henry figures if experience was such a great teacher he'd have learned   
   something from it.   
      
   >                             And he bit the third egg with all   
   > his might.   
      
     TOM: I'm still back here thinking about chewing through an egg shell.  [   
   Shudders ]  Ew.   
      
   >   
   >         How it hurt him! He fairly howled with pain.   
      
    CROW: If only there were some way he could have seen this coming!   
      
   >   
   >         And then Jimmy Rabbit snickered. He could hold in his   
   > laughter no longer.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ]  I ruin people's mouths for life!  Ha ha!   
      
   >   
   >         That was enough for Henry Skunk. He looked around   
   > quickly.   
      
    CROW: [ As Henry ]  How could someone see me on my porch?  Also how do I have   
   a porch?   
      
   >          And what he saw made him very angry. For he knew   
   > then that those eggs were nothing but a joke.   
      
     TOM: Not so much a funny ha-ha kind of joke as a malicious mayhem kind of   
   joke but still, a joke.   
      
   >   
   >         Now, when he tittered, Jimmy Rabbit had jumped back   
   > behind the tree round which he had been peeping.   
      
    CROW: Peep.   
      
   >                                                  He thought   
   > that he was safely out of sight. But he had forgotten all   
   > about his ears.   
      
     TOM: Mr Mink wants his ears back, too.   
      
   >                 They were so long, and they stuck out so far,   
   > that Henry Skunk could see them. And he knew right away who   
   > had played that trick on him.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Henry ]  It's that Dennis the Menace kid!  And this time he's gone   
   too far!   
      
   >   
   >         He did not think it was any joke, to break three   
   > teeth.   
      
    CROW: Sure, but it really helps Billy Flying Squirrel, the dentist.   
      
   >        And he began to creep toward those ears. But there was   
   > one thing that Henry Skunk had not noticed.   
      
     TOM: Hey, a wheat penny!  Like all the pennies they make today in 1916!   
      
   >                                             He had not looked   
   > up in the branches above Jimmy Rabbit's head. If he had, he   
   > would have seen   
      
    CROW: *Other* Jimmy Rabbit!   
      
   >                 Frisky Squirrel, who had come along to see   
   > the fun.   
      
    JOEL: Frisky's glad he stuck around for all three broken teeth.  Just one or   
   two and he wouldn't have gotten it.   
      
   >   
   >         As soon as Frisky saw what was happening, he cried:   
      
     TOM: [ As Frisky ]  Thompson is in trouble, Charlie Brown!   
      
   >   
   >         "Look out, Jimmy!"   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ]  I don't see Jimmy!   
      
   >   
   >         And Jimmy Rabbit looked out just in time. The smile   
   > faded from his face. And he turned and ran.   
      
    JOEL: [ Singing 'Three Little Fishes' ]  And he ran and he ran right over the   
   dam!   
      
   >   
   >         Henry Skunk did not chase him. He was no runner.   
      
     TOM: He figured to appear in only one sequence, but we'll be the judge of   
   that.   
      
   >                                                          But   
   > he hoped that some day he could catch _both_ those meddlesome   
   > youngsters.   
      
    CROW: And their pesky dog too!   
      
   >   
   >         [Illustration: Jimmy Rabbit delivers his May basket]   
      
    JOEL: Illustrator was a bit asleep on the job there.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, what did I tell you?" Jimmy Rabbit said, when   
   > Frisky joined him at a good, safe distance from Henry Skunk's   
   > house. "Didn't I say there'd be some fun?"   
      
     TOM: No, you just cackled that when Henry saw the eggs he'd break them.   
      
   >   
   >         "But I don't understand what happened," Frisky said.   
   > "I thought Henry Skunk _liked_ hens' eggs."   
      
    CROW: Ah, you overlooked that while he likes eggs Henry Skunk dislikes being   
   disfigured!   
      
   >   
   >         "So he does!" Jimmy Rabbit answered.   
      
     TOM: Case closed.   
      
   >                                              "But those were   
   > not real hens' eggs. They were china eggs which I found in   
   > Farmer Green's henhouse.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)