XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 5   
      
    CROW: Chapter Five is alive!   
      
   >   
   >         The New Wheelbarrow   
      
     TOM: I'm sorry, that should go in Old Wheelbarrow.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         There was something that Jimmy Rabbit wanted.   
      
    CROW: A brother.   
   [ JOEL shakes his head, sad. ]   
      
   >                                                        He had   
   > teased for it for a long time. And at last, after he had   
   > almost made up his mind that he wasn't going to get it,   
      
     TOM: Darn this quadratic equation!   
      
   >                                                         one   
   > day to his great joy his father brought home the very thing   
   > Jimmy had begged for.   
      
    CROW: Oh!   
     TOM: Dare we hope?   
     JOEL: Everything a young rabbit could want!  It's ...   
      
   >                       It was a wheelbarrow!   
      
     TOM: ... Bwuh?   
      
   >                                             Jimmy Rabbit   
   > could hardly believe his eyes.   
      
    CROW: Us too!   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, young man, you ought to be pretty grateful for   
   > this," Mr. Rabbit said.   
      
    JOEL: Well, it's 1916, so the only other gifts are barrel-staves and patent   
   medicine.   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes, Father!" Jimmy answered. He picked up the   
   > handles of the wheelbarrow, and began pushing it proudly   
   > about the dooryard.   
      
    CROW: The ... dooryard?   
    JOEL: It's where the family grows its doors.   
      
   >                     "I'm going to play with my wheelbarrow   
   > all the time after this," Jimmy said.   
      
     TOM: Finally I can spread my own mulch!   
      
   >   
   >         "I reckon you can do a little work with it, too," Mr.   
   > Rabbit told him.   
      
    CROW: Like rabbits do.   
      
   >                  "I shall expect you to bring home the   
   > vegetables for the whole family, every morning."   
      
    JOEL: Shall you now, Papa?   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes, Father!" Jimmy answered.   
      
    JOEL: He shall.   
      
   >                                        He thought that would   
   > be great sport.   
      
    CROW: The great sport of chores!   
      
   >                 He didn't stop to think that it would take a   
   > good many vegetables to feed his father and his mother, his   
   > four sisters, his two brothers, and himself.   
      
     TOM: 'Brothers'?   
    JOEL: Poor Jimmy.   
      
   >   
   >         "I hope, now, to have a little time for recreation,"   
   > Mr. Rabbit remarked.   
      
    CROW: With 1916's favorite pastime, 'waiting for crossword puzzles to be   
   invented'.   
      
   >   
   >         "It's too bad you have to work so hard," said Jimmy.   
      
     TOM: But it's not like wheelbarrows grow on trees.   
      
   > "Recreation" was a big word. Jimmy supposed that it was some   
   > kind of specially hard work.   
      
    JOEL: His grandbunny's stories of working in the recreation mine didn't help.   
      
   >                              He did not know that it meant   
   > _play_. "I'll go down to Farmer Green's garden right away and   
   > get a load of his best vegetables!" Jimmy exclaimed.   
      
    CROW: A rabbit stealing vegetables from the farmer's garden?  How does Arthur   
   Scott Bailey keep spinning out these original plots?   
      
   >   
   >         Down in Farmer Green's garden Jimmy worked busily,   
   > loading his new wheelbarrow to the very top.   
      
     TOM: How loaded to the top is Jimmy's new wheelbarrow?   
    CROW: *Very*!   
      
   >                                              And then he   
   > trundled it home again.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Andy Rooney ]  You ever notice nobody trundles anymore?   
      
   >                         No prouder youngster was ever seen in   
   > Pleasant Valley than Jimmy Rabbit, pushing that little   
   > wheelbarrow up the hill.   
      
    CROW: Anyone tell him he lives at the bottom of the hill?   
     TOM: Just let him be happy.   
      
   >   
   >         "Let me push it!" Frisky Squirrel begged.   
      
    JOEL: Kids come running for the chance to push wheelbarrows!   
      
   >   
   >         But Jimmy Rabbit said that he mustn't let anybody   
   > else play with that wheelbarrow.   
      
     TOM: Indeed, he daren't.   
      
   >   
   >         "Let me take hold of one handle!" Billy Woodchuck   
   > pleaded.   
      
    JOEL: Oh I used to have a friend who only drank Billy Woodchuck IPA.   
      
   >   
   >         But Jimmy Rabbit told him that _that_ was no way to   
   > wheel a wheelbarrow.   
      
    CROW: [ Sneering ] Pushing!  Handles!  The mad fools!   
      
   >   
   >         Somehow, the next day Jimmy didn't have half so much   
   > fun getting the vegetables.   
      
     TOM: Zeno's Farmer's Market.   
      
   >                             And the day after that he   
   > actually began to think that gathering vegetables was a good   
   > deal like work.   
      
    CROW: Work?  With a wheelbarrow?  C'mon.   
      
   >                 And before a week had passed he just hated   
   > the sight of Farmer Green's garden.   
      
    JOEL: Luckily, that was the night Fatty Raccoon ate the whole garden.   
      
   >   
   >         But all Jimmy's friends still crowded around and   
   > begged him to let them push the wheelbarrow.   
      
     TOM: This town is going to be revolutionized when 'hoop with stick' gets   
   invented.   
    CROW: That slide-the-15-squares around thing would kill them.   
      
   >                                              And all the   
   > while he had been very firm. He had not given one of them   
   > leave to touch the barrow.   
      
    JOEL: [ As a friend ] 'Why would I leave to touch the barrow?'   
      
   >   
   >         At last Jimmy Rabbit had an idea.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] 'If I turn us all into robots we'll never have to eat   
   again!'   
      
   >   
   >         "I'll tell you what I'll do," he said to Frisky   
   > Squirrel.   
      
    CROW: Jimmy and Frisky.  How do you decide in this world if you get an   
   adjective or a name?   
      
   >           "If you weren't my best friend I'd never think of   
   > such a thing.   
      
     TOM: [ As Frisky ] 'But you *did* think of it so ... are we not friends?'   
      
   >               And you mustn't expect I'm going to let you do   
   > this often----"   
   >   
   >         "Do what?" Frisky asked.   
      
    JOEL: Remind me of the babe.   
      
   >   
   >         "Why, wheel my wheelbarrow!" said Jimmy.   
      
    CROW: 'Wheel my wheelbarrow' sounds like an old-timey cry of disbelief.   
      
   >   
   >         Frisky Squirrel jumped high up in the air, he was so   
   > pleased.   
      
     TOM: [ As Frisky ]  'Sorry, elevator practice!'   
      
   >   
   >         "Hurrah!" he cried. "May I push it now, before you   
   > fill it with vegetables?"   
      
    JOEL: When it's at its most suggestible?   
      
   >   
   >         "Well--no! It's getting late," said Jimmy.   
      
     TOM: It is later than you think?   
    CROW: Yes, that's what he just said, Tommy, pay attention.   
      
   >                                                    "My mother   
   > will be expecting me soon.   
      
    CROW: [ As Frisky ] 'I thought mothers stopped expecting you once you were   
   born?'   
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] 'No, I ... I don't have the spoons to explain this.'   
      
   >                            I'll let you wheel the vegetables   
   > home for me. But first, you must gather them."   
   >   
   >         Frisky Squirrel was more than willing.   
      
    JOEL: Frisky Squirrel doesn't care this plan makes no sense as long as he can   
   wheel that barrow.   
      
   >                                                And he filled   
   > the barrow with cabbages and turnips, lettuce and peas,   
      
    CROW: 'Lettuce and peas' sounds like rhyming slang.   
      
   >                                                         while   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)