XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 6 A Narrow Escape]   
      
    CROW: An *arrow* escape?   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 6   
      
     TOM: Return of the Jedi.   
      
   >   
   >         A Narrow Escape   
      
    CROW: An arrow escape?   
    JOEL: [ Touches CROW's shoulder ]   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Frisky Squirrel had a hard time pushing the   
   > wheelbarrow home with Jimmy Rabbit on top of the load of   
   > vegetables.   
      
     TOM: Well there's your problem, rabbits are a fruit, not a vegetable.   
      
   >             He puffed and groaned. And he had to stop every   
   > little while to catch his breath.   
      
    CROW: If you keep your breath on a leash you don't have to catch it.   
      
   >   
   >         "You see, you're not used to wheeling a wheelbarrow,"   
   > Jimmy told him.   
      
    JOEL: Really got barrowing down, though.   
      
   >                 "For me, it's no trouble at all. But then,   
   > I'm stronger than you are."   
      
     TOM: Yeah, muscle beach guy here stronger than a rodent one-fifth his size.   
      
   >   
   >         Now, Frisky had been almost ready to tell Jimmy that   
   > he might trundle the barrow   
      
    JOEL: [ As Andy Rooney ]  So what happened that people gave up on trundling?   
     TOM: They trundon't.   
      
      
   >                             the rest of the way. But when he   
   > heard that he made up his mind   
      
     TOM: You've made your mind, now sleep in it.   
      
   >                                that he would get that   
   > wheelbarrow up the hill to Jimmy's house if he didn't do   
   > another thing that day.   
      
    CROW: To be fair, once you've trundled what else is there to do all day?   
      
   >   
   >         So he started on again. And at last he stopped in   
   > front of Jimmy Rabbit's door.   
      
     TOM: Careful, doors are the natural enemies of wheelbarrows.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy hopped nimbly to the ground. But poor Frisky   
   > was so tired that he lay right down and went to sleep.   
      
    CROW: Oh, some squirrels are so lucky, they can sleep anywhere.   
      
   >                                                         And   
   > the next day he never went near Farmer Green's garden.   
      
     TOM: Farmer Green wants to be clear he's not responsible for *any* of this   
   drama.   
      
   >   
   >         But Jimmy Rabbit didn't mind that at all. There were   
   > plenty of others who wanted to trundle the wheelbarrow.   
      
    CROW: Remember when we saw Trundle The Wheelbarrow opening for 21 Pilots?   
    JOEL: Good show.   
      
   >                                                         And   
   > this time Jimmy told Billy Woodchuck that _he_ might wheel   
   > the barrow home for him.   
      
     TOM: Not as good as the Wheel The Barrow Home show, though.   
    CROW: Well that's obvious, sure.   
      
   >   
   >         Once more Jimmy Rabbit stood by while the vegetables   
   > were gathered for him.   
      
    JOEL: Jimmy Rabbit figured this would be his one last job ...   
      
   >                        Once more he seated himself on top of   
   > the load. And once more he had a free ride up the long hill.   
      
     TOM: Huh.  Mountain is high and the valley *is* low.   
      
   > Jimmy had changed his mind about Farmer Green's garden.   
      
    CROW: [ As Farmer Green ] Thanks, glad to be out of your whole deal!   
      
   >                                                         He   
   > even asked his mother if he might not bring home two loads of   
   > vegetables each day, instead of only one.   
      
    CROW: [ As Farmer Green ] Dag-rabbit!   
      
   >                                           And he was   
   > disappointed when she said "No!"   
      
    JOEL: It is forbidden by Grape Law!   
      
   >   
   >         There was one thing, however, that Jimmy had   
   > overlooked.   
      
     TOM: The whole valley, if he was on top of the hill.   
      
   >             As the days went by, one by one his friends   
   > stayed away from the garden-patch.   
      
    CROW: Wait a minute, is Jimmy working with Farmer Green to keep animals out   
   of the garden patch?  This changes everything!   
      
   >                                    And at last there was   
   > nobody left who wanted to push the wheelbarrow except Fatty   
   > Raccoon.   
      
    JOEL: Wait ---   
     TOM: *The* Fatty Raccoon?  The one and only?   
    CROW: There isn't room for two Fatty Raccoons.   
      
   >          And Fatty Raccoon was really no friend of his at   
   > all.   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] I'm not?  I always said nice stuff about you!   
      
   >      In fact, Jimmy did not like him, because he never could   
   > feel sure that Fatty would not get hungry all at once and try   
   > to eat him.   
      
     TOM: If you're going to hold 'might eat me' against Fatty how can you call   
   Grumpy Weasel a friend?   
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] I don't!   
      
   >   
   >         But Fatty teased so hard that at last Jimmy agreed to   
   > give him his turn at the fun   
      
    JOEL: I want to hear how Fatty bullied Jimmy into letting Fatty pick   
   vegetables and haul them home.   
     TOM: Is it possible Fatty isn't any good at bullying?   
      
   >                              (Jimmy was always careful to   
   > speak of gathering vegetables and wheeling them home as   
   > "fun").   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] Why the air quotes around fun?   
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] Uh ... no, you mis-heard, they're "hare" quotes.   
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] Oh.  ... But rabbits aren't hares?   
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] Look, a distraction!   
      
   >   
   >         When the barrow was full, Jimmy Rabbit again climbed   
   > on top of the load.   
      
     TOM: That's it, Jimmy, get on top of Fatty's open-faced sandwich.   
      
   >                     But he kept very close watch of Fatty.   
      
    CROW: Close watch?  You can't avoid seeing Fatty wherever you look.   
      
   > And he was ready, any moment, to leap off the wheelbarrow in   
   > case Fatty should reach for his legs.   
      
    JOEL: Jimmy forgot that Fatty's gravitational field overwhelms the Earth's.   
      
   >   
   >         Fatty Raccoon was strong.   
      
     TOM: He had to be, to carry himself around everywhere.   
      
   >                                   He did not tire so easily   
   > as the others had. But finally he let go the handles and   
   > straightened up.   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ]  Sorry, just confused again how we're animals in the human   
   world and we have wheelbarrows?  Can you explain that again?   
      
   >   
   >         "What's the matter?" asked Jimmy. "You're not tired,   
   > are you?"   
      
    JOEL: Tired?  He's more of a sphere.   
      
   >   
   >         "No!" said Fatty. "But it's harder work than I   
   > supposed. I declare, I'm getting terribly hungry."   
      
     TOM: 'Getting'?   
      
   >   
   >         When Jimmy Rabbit heard him say that, his heart went   
   > _pitty-pat_.   
      
    CROW: Aw, he's adorable when he's in existential peril!   
      
   >              And he almost ran away, then and there.   
      
     TOM: _Actually_ if he ran away he wouldn't be _there_ anymore, would he?   
      
   >   
   >         But what would become of his nice new wheelbarrow if   
   > he did that?   
      
    CROW: At this moment Jimmy realizes we *are* chained by our belongings!   
      
   >              He was afraid that Fatty Raccoon would run off   
   > with it.   
      
    JOEL: 'Run off with' is a funny way to say 'eat'.   
     TOM: It's a New England dialect.   
      
   >   
   >         "My goodness! I'm growing hungrier every minute!"   
   > said Fatty Raccoon.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Well, maybe you could cut back to growing hungrier every   
   other minute?  Is that possible?   
      
   >   
   >         Then Jimmy Rabbit had a happy thought.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)