XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 7 A Fast Runner]   
      
    JOEL: He's not that speedy but he goes a long time without eating.   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 7   
      
     TOM: The Chaptest!   
      
   >   
   >         A Fast Runner   
      
    CROW: Is there an echo here?   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         On Blue Mountain, and in Pleasant Valley as well,   
      
    JOEL: Folks enjoy the good things in life.  Like salad dressing.   
      
   > there lived many fast runners.   
      
     TOM: But not for long, because they all ran away.   
      
   >                                And among the swiftest was   
   > Jimmy Rabbit. But he never ran very far.   
      
    CROW: Did he run up somewhere instead?  Tch.   
      
   >                                          Whenever he was   
   > startled he would go bounding off like the wind;   
      
     TOM: Wind doesn't run!  It doesn't have sneakers!   
      
   >                                                  but pretty   
   > soon he would stop and listen to see if anyone was following   
   > him.   
      
    JOEL: No sense running if you don't have an audience.   
      
   >      And if it happened to be dog Spot, he always hurried to   
   > a hollow stump, or perhaps a woodchuck's hole--or a   
   > skunk's--and hid there until Spot went away.   
      
     TOM: Now if it were marmot Spot or tree kangaroo Spot that was a different   
   thing.   
      
   >   
   >         Of course, there was some risk in going into somebody   
   > else's house.   
      
    CROW: For one, what if Jimmy became a vampire?   
      
   >               For if the owner happened to be at home there   
   > was likely to be a quarrel.   
      
    JOEL: C'mon, what was there to quarrel over before they had even filmed 'The   
   Last Jedi'?   
      
   >                             Naturally, nobody likes to have   
   > some outsider burst into his house without even stopping to   
   > knock.   
      
     TOM: Used to be you wouldn't even lock your woodchuck-hole in this town.   
      
   >   
   >         Now, everyone said that Jimmy Rabbit could run   
   > fast   
      
    CROW: What, all the *time*?   
     TOM: Boring town.   
      
   >     --that is, all but Tommy Fox.   
      
   [ CROW looks at TOM. ]   
      
   >                                   He never would admit that   
   > Jimmy Rabbit was much of a runner.   
      
    JOEL: Get him talking about Jimmy's saxophone playing, though, and he's never   
   going to stop praising it.   
      
   >                                    I should hate to say that   
   > Tommy Fox was jealous. But it certainly did annoy him to hear   
   > so much said about Jimmy's wonderful speed.   
      
    CROW: I think you're actually going ahead and saying Tommy Fox was jealous.   
     TOM: *Envious*.   
    CROW: You would know ...   
      
   >   
   >         Perhaps he never would have suggested the race, if   
   > Jimmy Rabbit hadn't boasted so much about his running.   
      
    JOEL: Well, live and learn, huh?   
      
   >                                                        You   
   > see, in time Jimmy's head became turned.   
      
     TOM: [ As a squeaky wheel ]  Creeeeeeeeaaaaaak.   
      
   >                                          And he was often   
   > heard to say that there was no one in that part of the   
   > country who could beat him.   
      
    CROW: And that part?  'The part containing Jimmy Rabbit'.   
      
   >   
   >         "Of course, there may be some one, somewhere, who can   
   > outrun me," Jimmy Rabbit said. "But I have yet to meet him."   
      
    JOEL: Sounds like *someone* hasn't met Turbo, the snail that races in the   
   Indianapolis 500.   
     TOM: Back then it was only the Indianapolis 285.   
      
   >   
   >         That was a little more than Tommy Fox could bear.   
      
    CROW: Tommy Bear asks why drag *him* into this?   
      
   >                                                           And   
   > he went off, looking very sour. He trotted over to the creek,   
   > did Tommy Fox.   
      
     TOM: Ooh, *did* he *dare*?   
    CROW: Yeah, Tommy Servo?   
      
   >                And there he might have been seen talking to   
   > Mr. Turtle.   
      
    JOEL: Is it *possible*?   
      
   >             He talked with him for a long time. And when at   
   > last he went away Tommy's face wore a very different look. He   
   > was actually smiling.   
      
    CROW: Chapter 7 guest-written by Louella Parsons!   
      
   >   
   >         The very next day Jimmy Rabbit met Tommy Fox in the   
   > woods.   
      
     TOM: Where else could they go?   
      
   >   
   >         "You'd better go home!" Tommy told him. "You have a   
   > caller waiting to see you.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] A coaler?  But I'm wood-fired!   
     TOM: [ As Tommy ] No you are *not*!   
      
   >                            I just happened to pass your   
   > house, and the caller asked me if I had seen you."   
      
     TOM: [ As Tommy ] And this is not a setup!  Why would you think this was a   
   setup?   
      
   >   
   >         "Who is it?" Jimmy asked him.   
      
    JOEL: It's the plumber, I've come to fix the sink!   
      
   >   
   >         But Tommy Fox would not tell him.   
      
    CROW: Some classic Tommy passive-aggressiveness there.   
     TOM: Look, I wrote you a *note* about the way your breathing exercises   
   sounds like a goose playing trumpet so we didn't have to talk it out with Joel   
   and everybody eavesdropping, okay?   
    CROW: _Sure_.  Right.   
      
   >   
   >         "It's really none of my business," he said.   
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit hurried off. He wondered who wanted to   
   > see him, and why.   
      
    JOEL: Ever since the wheelbarrow thing Jimmy's not used to people wanting to   
   see him.   
      
   >   
   >         He was surprised--and disappointed, too--to find that   
   > it was nobody but Mr. Turtle.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] So ... Licks?  Hmm?  Wanna count licks?   
    CROW: [ As Mr Turtle ] Later ... LATER!   
      
   >                               And he was still more surprised   
   > when he learned his errand.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] I have to clear Rudolph from this charge of stealing a   
   circus's receipts?  Huh?   
      
   >   
   >         "I have come to challenge you to a race," Mr. Turtle   
   > told him.   
      
      TOM: New York to Paris by auto-mobile!   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit laughed right in his face.   
      
    CROW: That's hard on a face.  It'll hurt the resale value.   
      
   >   
   >         "A race!" he exclaimed. "Why--you can't run.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mr Turtle ] Run?  We're doing motocross!   
      
   >                                                      I guess   
   > you've come to the wrong house. I guess you've made a   
   > mistake."   
   >   
   >         But Mr. Turtle said that he knew what he was about.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mr Turtle ] There's only room in this valley for one Drains   
   Commissioner and I aim to be that one.   
      
   >   
   >         "I want to race you all the way from the creek to   
   > Broad Brook, where it runs into Swift River," he said.   
      
     TOM: You know, Swift River is named for Jonathan Swift.   
    CROW: And Broad Brook is named for B.C. character Jane Brook.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit had hard work to keep a straight face.   
      
    JOEL: Broad Brook doesn't run into Swift River!  It merges into Puddle   
   Channel!   
      
   >   
   >         "My dear sir!" he said.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] Stern letter to follow!   
      
   >                                 "I could run that distance a   
   > hundred times while you were waddling it once.   
      
    CROW: Mr Turtle crosses Jimmy up by *not* waddling even a little bit.   
      
   >                                                I don't care   
   > to race with you. It would be no fun at all for me."   
      
    JOEL: Dialogue by C-3PO.   
      
   >   
   >         When Mr. Turtle heard that, his beady little eyes   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)