XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >         [Illustration: The Night of the Rabbit's Ball]   
      
     TOM: Jellicle rabbits come out tonight!   
      
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >         [Illustration: 16 Red Leggins]   
      
    CROW: Mm, I do love a heaping pile of red leggins, with ranch dressing?   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 16   
      
    JOEL: You know this is the square root of chapter 256.  It's true!   
      
   >   
   >         Red Leggins   
      
     TOM: I don't like a _lot_ of country music but Red Leggins, he knows how to   
   do it right.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         It was winter.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Where is my discontent?   
      
   >                        And you would naturally think that   
   > Jimmy Rabbit would be happy,   
      
    JOEL: If you're naive.   
      
   >                              there was so much snow to play   
   > in. But he wasn't.   
      
     TOM: He knew he had to first work the snow.   
      
   >                    I am sorry to say that he was sulking in   
   > the house, while all his friends were out of doors, having a   
   > good time in the snow.   
      
    CROW: Except for Danny Fennec, who can't go out when it's this cold or he   
   dies.   
      
   >   
   >         The trouble was this:   
      
     TOM: He lost the door.   
    JOEL: He should check the dooryard.   
      
   >                               Mrs. Rabbit wouldn't let Jimmy   
   > play in the snowdrifts unless he wore his red leggins.   
      
    CROW: Well, what if he stayed out of the snowdrifts and stuck to the   
   snowbanks and frozen pond then?   
      
   >                                                        And   
   > Jimmy just hated them. None of the other youngsters had to   
   > wear red leggins.   
      
     TOM: Do they even know what red is?  I just realized I have no idea if   
   rabbits are color-blind.   
      
   >                   And they made all manner of fun of Jimmy,   
   > and called him names, whenever he appeared in those bright   
   > red things.   
      
    JOEL: Mean names like 'Jimmy' and 'Young Mr Rabbit' and stuff.   
      
   >   
   >         The worst name that they called him was one that   
   > Fatty Raccoon made up. It was "Red Legs."   
      
     TOM: Fatty isn't good at nicknames.   
    CROW: He *wants* to be, he just doesn't have the skill.   
    JOEL: Fatty just thinks Jimmy would be great as a 19th century baseball team.   
      
   >                                           And it was a little   
   > more than Jimmy could bear. So Jimmy said he would rather not   
   > go out at all, than wear those horrid leggins.   
      
    CROW: Leg*gings*.  C'mon.  Don't slur.   
      
   >   
   >         "Very well!" his mother said.   
      
     TOM: You can wear the orange sweatpants instead.   
    JOEL, CROW: NOOOOO!   
      
   >   
   >         But all the time Jimmy kept wishing he was out there   
   > with the others. He could hear them laughing and shouting.   
      
    JOEL: Making up stories about what Jimmy's 'Brother' is up to.   
    CROW: Jimmy's brother has really disappeared _even more_ from the story,   
   hasn't he?   
      
   >   
   >         "Mayn't I go out without my leggins if I stay in my   
   > own yard?" he asked his mother.   
      
     ALL: Mayn't?   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes!" she said, "if you won't step in the deep   
   > snow."   
      
    CROW: Mrs Rabbit, I think you mean 'if you *shalln't*.'   
      
   >        So Jimmy went outside and watched his friends.   
      
     TOM: Otherwise he would be watchn't his friends .   
      
   >   
   >         "Come on, Jimmy!" they cried. "Tommy Fox has taught   
   > us a new game. It's fox-and-geese!"   
      
    CROW: Oh!  That sounds ... like ... I really don't know if that's an   
   old-timey thing or not.   
      
   >   
   >         But Jimmy Rabbit shook his head.   
   >   
   >         "I can't!" he said. "I'm too busy."   
      
     TOM: Joy?  Bah!  Humbug!   
      
   >   
   >         "Ho! Jimmy Rabbit has to work!" somebody cried.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] No I hasn't!   
      
   >   
   >         But Jimmy Rabbit smiled.   
      
    JOEL: Oh yeah, it's all coming together.   
      
   >   
   >         "Maybe _you'd_ call it work," he said.   
      
    CROW: I would calln't it so.   
      
   >                                                "But _I_ call   
   > it a good deal of fun.... I'm forming a club," he told them.   
      
     TOM: Jimmy lives on that line dividing imaginative crafter and pathological   
   liar.   
      
   >   
   >         "A club? What's that?" asked Frisky Squirrel.   
      
    CROW: Frisky's the senior member of the Jimmy Rabbit Press Corps so he gets   
   to ask the first question.   
      
   >   
   >         "It's a jolly band of fellows," Jimmy told him.   
      
    JOEL: Which nobody can deny.   
      
   >                                                         "Sort   
   > of a secret society, you know. We'll have all kinds of fun."   
      
     TOM: We'll capture James Bond and expect him to die.   
      
   >   
   >         "Who's in your club?"   
      
    CROW: Since Mickey Mouse won't be drawn for like twelve more years.   
      
   >   
   >         "That's one of the secrets," Jimmy answered. "We   
   > don't tell."   
      
     TOM: [ As Frisky ] It's ... it's you and your mom, isn't it?   
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] And my brother!   
      
   >   
   >         "I'd like to join," Frisky told him.   
      
    CROW: Nice to see the tooth-pulling hasn't dimmed Frisky's trust in whatever   
   Jimmy's up to.   
      
   >                                              And the others   
   > all said that they would like to be members, too.   
      
    JOEL: Pleasant Valley is going to be doomed the minute someone invents Amway.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, everything has to be very private," Jimmy   
   > said.   
      
    CROW: I SAID EVERYTHING HAS TO BE VERY PRIVATE!   
      
   >       "Anybody who wants to belong to the club has to come   
   > and ask me.   
      
     TOM: [ As Frisky ] Ask me what?   
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Sit down, Jimmy.   
      
   >             And I'll tell him what to do, if I want him to   
   > belong.... One at a time, now! Don't crowd!" Jimmy said. For   
   > everybody was coming inside his yard.   
      
    JOEL: When I tried this in middle school it came out different.   
      
   >   
   >         He stood at one side and wouldn't talk above a   
   > whisper.   
      
     TOM: What?   
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] I SAID I WON'T TALK ABOVE A WHISPER!   
      
   >          And to each of his friends he said:   
      
    JOEL: Remumbuland your kept harmozzle withnord afremmel under certapulation,   
   but danj yollumaste tip huffnuffnuffnagle.   
      
   >   
   >         "You have to have a uniform, you know....   
      
     TOM: How else will they know who's a flight attendant?   
      
   >                                                   The name of   
   > the club is The Scarlet Spies.   
      
    JOEL: A Quinn Martin Production.   
      
   >                                And everyone who is in it must   
   > wear a pair of scarlet leggins."   
      
    CROW: By Nathaniel Hawthorne.   
      
   >   
   >         Just as soon as they learned that, the whole troop   
   > hurried away.   
      
    JOEL: The Scarlet 'Byes.   
      
   >               And by afternoon the woods seemed to have   
   > turned red, there were so many pairs of scarlet leggins   
   > twinkling almost anywhere you looked.   
      
     TOM: This is a *lot* of people invested in hanging out with Jimmy after the   
   whole wheelbarrow scam.   
      
   >   
   >         In fact, there was only one of Jimmy's young   
   > neighbors who hadn't been able to get a pair.   
      
    CROW: Not counting Stanley Snake.   
    JOEL: Vernon Red-Leggings-Monger doesn't know why but had his best sales day   
   _ever_.   
      
   >                                               And that was   
   > Fatty Raccoon. Goodness knows he wanted some scarlet leggins.   
      
     TOM: But there's no covering Fatty with one pair of *anything*.   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)