XPost: alt.fan.tom-servo, alt.tv.star-trek.ds9, alt.tv.star-trek.voyager   
   XPost: rec.arts.sf.tv, rec.arts.startrek.current   
   From: 3cjmd@comcast.net   
      
   "Plain and Simple Cronan"  wrote:   
      
   >1. I am 17. This in and of itself proves that I am more mature than   
   >Voyager's writers whose collective maturity equals that of most 10   
   >year-olds.   
   >2. In spite of the fact that I have never gotten an "A" in a Language >class   
   >I am more articulate than most of Voyager's writers, including Jeri >Taylor   
   >who majored in English.   
   >3. I have recently begun an underwear collection. This proves that I, >in my   
   >hobbies, am more creative than the writers in thier chosen profession.   
   >4. I am a high school student. This accomplishment is held in greater   
   >esteem than writing for Voyager.   
   >5. Nothing I have ever written has ever caused anyone to seriously   
   >contemplate suicide and/or homocide.   
   >6. No matter how poorly spelled, badly worded or just plain stupid >anything   
   >I might post is it is never edited, censored or otherwise altered by a   
   >third class network whose best show revolves around ex-Huxtable.   
   >7. I stopped babbling when I was 3. Voyager's writers put it in >scripts and   
   >broadcast it on national TV.   
   >8. On my shoulder lives a little blue elf who goes by the name Norman. >He   
   >often faints whenever I watch Voyager; proving even my imaginary >friends   
   >have more taste than Voyager's writers.   
   >9. What I write is *intentionally* funny and intended for ridicule.   
   >10. I never have, and never would, force some innocent and unexpecting   
   >network to waste 108 million dollars, over some 60 attempts, on poorly   
   >rated, critically panned peices of garbage. I did however ask my mom >to get   
   >me an AOL account which is a waste of 20.00.   
   >11. I gained control of my hormones after I finished puberty.   
      
   Oh no, you didn't.  You proceeded to live vicariously by trolling me   
   about my own sexual exploits, real or imagined.   
      
   >12. What I write is often viewed as being racist, sexist and/or >homophobic   
   >yet I have managed to offend fewer people than Voyager.   
      
   Speaking of which, as I look back upon the past, I too have my share   
   of regrets.  One of them being the fact that neither you nor Gharlane   
   got to enjoy _Firefly_, and then _Serenity_   
      
   OTOH, you both were mercifully spared living through 9/11 and what   
   came afterwards.  Your lives marked the closing chapter of a Golden   
   Age of Innocence, when Gods trolled through Usenet, now all but lost.   
      
   >-- Plain and Simple Cronan, XO of the USS Megadittos <*> (-o-)   
   >Those wizened prognosticators of old foretold what was destined   
   >to be using techniques thought lost in the mists of antiquity. They   
   >spoke of a man, a man plain and simple yet with the potential to   
   >safeguard mankind from the coming dangers. He is Cronan, our only   
   >hope.   
   >-- Wisened Old Guy wearing no pants by the freeway   
      
   Cheers,   
      
   Jaime   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)