From: Gordon@leaf.net.nz
On 2026-01-25, micky wrote:
> In alt.comp.os.windows-11, on Sun, 25 Jan 2026 14:50:19 -0000, Philip
> Herlihy wrote:
>
>>In article <5pdank193tdbe7g8ium0jrvbrnqars4q5s@4ax.com>, NONONOmisc07
>>@fmguy.com says...
>>>
>>>How to stop friend from being scammed.
>>>
>>>I hope you can help me. My friend, the son of friends, is 38 and I've
>>>known him since he was 2. He's been giving money to scammers who found
>>>him on Facebook. He won't believe they are lying to him about the
>>>Pakistani orphans.
>>>
>>>Right now he's in a locked mental ward at a local hospital. For the 3rd
>>>or more time over 10 years, and told me to get his laptop and use
>>>whatsapp for the PC to continue relations with his friends (that is, the
>>>lying scammers). When he gets out, he will try to send them hundreds of
>>>dollars from his Social Security Disability.
>>>
>>>However this goes, it may well end up ruining my 35 year friendship with
>>>him, even if I do no more than argue with him, but I want to do more and
>>>also minimize the risk to our relationship. (I have his parents' avid
>>>encouragement.)
>>>
>>>I welcome suggestions and I'm asking if my plan is reasonable:
>>>
>>>I thought I could add a line to the HOSTS file which would stop Whatsapp
>>>from working. That is his main, hopefully his only way of communicating
>>>with them. IIUC he would still have the chats that are there now, but he
>>>wouldn't be able to send new messages, by wifi or any other way.
>>>
>>> Would there be an error message that blamed the HOSTS file, or
>>>would the user just be left confused? He probably has never heard of the
>>>HOSTS file but if the error message mentions it, he'll figure it out and
>>>undo it. He's smart (but gullible).
>>> If he takes the computer to a repair shop**, will they likely find
>>>the problem? And pretty quickly? Once someone tells him the HOSTS
>>>file was edited, he'll know I was the one, and he may hate me forever. I
>>>would miss him, but more importantly, he needs friends He's turned
>>>against anyone who argues with him about the scammers, except, so far,
>>>his parents. **He is scared to drive now and doesn't, but may be
>>>able to find someone in walking distance, who works at home. Might not
>>>even charge him if it doesn't take a long time.
>>
>>
>>What jurisdiction is this - UK?
>>
>>Legally, does he have "capacity"? If not, then it would be normal for
>
> He hasn't been legally declared incompetent, but this is the 3rd (or
> more) time he's been involuntarily committed to a locked mental ward.
> They only hold someone until they settle down. They change the drugs
> he's taking, which iiuc he does take willingly. He knows he's a mess.
That is a good start.
>
>>his finances to be under the control either or a nominated
>
> His parents are both Ph.D.s but they seem to have been sluggish on this,
> or maybe he was much better since he first gave away money and they
> didn't think they had to worry. Now they they are trying to get his
> disability insurance paid to them instead of him. But that will take
> weeks..
Stick with the plan to get the disability isurance paid to the parent and
explain to the son/friend why this is happening. He will click onto reason
why his bank account has stopped receiving the deposits.
It seems that his parents are supporting their son and are willing to supply
his living costs, at least until the change in which bank the insurance goes
into.
Keep in contact with the partents so the you provide a unform from to this
difficult situation.
[My understaning of the situation maybe be incorrect]
> Just got a phone message. He wants me to check if his bank
> balance is still below zero. But he gets a deposit I think every month,
> alnthough not necessarily on the first of the month. and while it's
> supposed to be for him to live on, he lives with his parents who provide
> all his living needs.
>
>>friend/relative or the local authority (Council) under either a Power of
>>Attorney or (more relevant) a "Deputyship" (something as it happens I've
>>been asked to take on for someone with dementia). If he is genuinely
>>not capable of making his own decisions (which must include some bad
>>decisions) then those options ought to be pursued if not already in
>>place.
>>
>>If he does have Capacity, and is simply making bad decisions, I think
>>your only option is to continue to seek to persuade him. I'd use
>>Perplexity (or another AI research tool which is good at giving
>>references to follow up) to find case studies of these or similar
>>scammers. If you're in the UK then the BBC (iPlayer) series "Scam
>
> The USA.
>
>>Interceptors" is a very good and persuasive watch. With things like this
>>people learn best from multiple examples rather than a single logical
>>argument. But if you are going to "argue" with him, you need somehow to
>>tap into his emotional investment in what he's trying to do, and perhaps
>>divert this to a genuine charity. To persuade anyone of anything, you
>>have to be seen by them as "reasonable", and that usually means finding
>>something you can agree on before introducing an alternative view.
>
> Yes. It's hard to not spout, "But they are liars." Which is what I said
> a couple years ago when his parents learned about an earlier payment he
> made. This month he pointed out the identity cards he's received
> pictures of. The lawyer is a real, apparently respected lawyer in
> France, and the othe paety is Spanish. I have to go look her up now.
>
>
>>Good luck!
>>
>>--
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)
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