XPost: alt.religion.christian.roman-catholic   
   From: truecatholicstaff@truecarpentry.org   
      
   On 7/24/2023 9:56 PM, Carolyn Jean Swikard Berg wrote:   
   > I Am A Huge Slut   
   >   
   >   
   > Recently, I participated, in a willing, great hook-up. The week before   
   > I participated in a willing make-out session. I just moved to a new   
   > town. I don't know anyone around here that well, and the unfortunate   
   > thing about that is that I don't know who knows who -- for instance   
   > how close hook-up A is to hook-up B. This is where my story really   
   > starts.   
   >   
   > Let's call the two guys I've hooked up with Boy A and Boy B. Boy A had   
   > a crush on me. Since I had only known him for about a week, I assumed   
   > it was casual. I was wrong. At some point during our short time   
   > together, he decided we were in a relationship. Now, we're talking   
   > about a guy that I've probably seen four times in my life and who I   
   > never told I was interested in being in a relationship. This is where   
   > Boy B steps in.   
   >   
   > I had met Boy B the week before and found him attractive. The next   
   > week I saw him at a party and we began talking about Lord of The   
   > Rings, Zombies and Star Wars. Clearly, I was interested. One thing led   
   > to another and we hooked up. The next day I texted Boy A and he   
   > responded by saying (and I quote): "I heard Boy B jack-hammered your   
   > crotch last night…yikes."   
   >   
   > Despite his triggering, offensive, misogynistic language, I responded.   
   > I told him that it was unfair of him to assume that there was   
   > something solid between us. I told him not to deny my sexuality and   
   > not to hold me to double standards. What he said back was this: "Stop   
   > bothering me you dumb whore." I decided to just say nothing, to not   
   > give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much his texts had   
   > gotten to me. But I was so upset and angry. I felt disgusting, like a   
   > pile of trash, and I know that's what he wanted me to feel like.   
   >   
   > I have my theories why I felt this way. It has been a little over a   
   > year since I was pinned down and raped in my own bed. The   
   > "Jack-hammered your crotch" comment just sounded so violent, so rapey,   
   > that every time I think about it I am disgusted. My stomach literally   
   > clenches and I feel sick. The term whore made me feel low, like maybe   
   > I'm wrong for liking sex as much as men, maybe I am worthless, maybe I   
   > should be used for sex, maybe that's all I'm good for. For the first   
   > time, I understood how much it hurts to be called a whore or a slut or   
   > a skank - whatever the term may be - or to have you sexuality   
   > questioned. Even after attending Slut Walks, being an active feminist,   
   > knowing about rape culture and understanding the effects of   
   > slut-shaming, I lost myself in the idea that maybe being a slut was a   
   > bad thing, that maybe I had been wrong all along. My entire belief   
   > structure had come into question because of one jerk.   
   >   
   > Then I remembered the day I lost my virginity. The day I had sex for   
   > the first time, it was not to a guy who was my boyfriend. Some of you   
   > may call that slutty, but I knew that I wanted to have sex. At that   
   > moment, there was nothing more that I wanted, and when it happened, I   
   > regretted nothing. But I also remember thinking that no one would   
   > understand, that if I told, I'd be called a whore and a liar. And   
   > there was that word again: whore. The word that people use to control   
   > our sexuality, to dismiss us from sexual pleasure, to dismiss our   
   > claims of sexual assault, to dismiss our humanity.   
   >   
   > We live in a country where tens of thousands of sexual assault cases   
   > are reported every year. And who really knows how many go unreported.   
   > I think this all goes back to the word "whore," to the idea that women   
   > do not have sex for ourselves but for male attention, because we have   
   > low self esteem, because we have daddy issues, because we want to be   
   > popular, or because we're just plain crazy.   
   >   
   > It starts in our first health class. We learn that boys masturbate   
   > more than girls (or is it just that boys talk about it more because it   
   > is considered more socially acceptable for them to pleasure   
   > themselves?) In our high school health classes, we are told that the   
   > only way to be safe is to remain abstinent, that if we wait until   
   > marriage, sex will be so much better. We are taught about blow jobs,   
   > but the blessing that is cunnilingus is never mentioned. We learn   
   > about male ejaculation, not about female. Every day we are shown how   
   > cool Robert Downey Jr. is for remaining a swinger throughout his   
   > career, and on the same channel told that Miley Cyrus looks like a   
   > slut in her video.   
   >   
   > As a gender we have been dismissed. Slut is not our word. It is the   
   > word of our oppressors. It is a word they use because the idea of   
   > female sexuality does not fit their conservative view points. But I'm   
   > going to fight that now. I'm going to say:   
   >   
   > Dear Guy A, I love sex. I choose to love sex. I choose to have sex   
   > with whomever I want. I am great in bed and I am proud of that. I look   
   > amazing naked and yeah that makes me feel really confident and sexy.   
   > Sex is my choice. So if liking sex, and liking frequent sex, and   
   > liking experimenting with new partners makes me a slut in your mind,   
   > then so be it. I am a huge slut. And there is nothing wrong with that.   
   >   
   >   
   go to hell   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)