From: noahidebooksforever@gmail.com   
      
   Garbage Men   
      
       
      
   Chapter One   
      
   Stan. He was a hell of a guy. Liked having sex with all the hot ladies on the   
   garbage route. In at 4 in the morning, out at 11. 3 babies usually each year   
   so far. 12 years of service to Langfire City GD, 41 children. All bastards.   
   Stan was that kind of    
   guy.   
      
   Shirlie. Straight laced. Born again. What she saw in Stan was God Only Knows.   
   He proposed 4 weeks into the shift they worked together. She said yes.   
      
       
      
   'You know, Jim. I'm soon to be a married man,' said Stan.   
      
   'Shirlie is insane,' said Jim.   
      
   'Shirlie she's not,' replied Stan.   
      
   'Bad joke. $5 penalty for bad jokes, bud. Pay the man,' said Jim.   
      
   Stan leafed out a 5 dollar note and put it in the 'Mr Rude Coinbox' they   
   shared for bad jokes.   
      
   'I think I could be a dad. You know. Cut out for it.'   
      
   Jim glared at Stan. 'Yep, buddy. That you might be.'   
      
   'Yep. They could call me dad. It would be good.'   
      
   'Will you introduce them to the bastards?' asked Jim. 'You have a 10 year old   
   now, you know.'   
      
   'Langfire city is full of bastards. These ones will be special. Legit.'   
      
   'Knowing their old man,' said Jim, and trailed off, as they came up to the   
   next set of garbage and recycling bins.   
      
   'And what the hell is that supposed to mean?' asked Stan.   
      
   'Well, like father like son. I'm sure they'll have bastards of their own.   
   Hardly care, if they have your genes.'   
      
   Stan looked at Jim, and looked at the road.   
      
   'Just empty the fucking bins,' said Jim annoyed.   
      
   He knew his rep was shit.   
      
   The End of Chapter One   
      
       
      
   Chapter Two   
      
   'Mum's pregnant,' said Shirlie.   
      
   'Love to meet her,' said Stan.   
      
   'Oh, you might have. She's on your old route. Before I started.'   
      
   'Really,' said Stan.   
      
   '25 Cresswell circuit,' said Shirlie, as they pulled up to the next garbage   
   bins.   
      
   Stan almost swore. '25? Blonde lady. Mid 40s?'   
      
   'That's her,' said Shirlie.   
      
   'Isn't she single?' asked Stan nervously.   
      
   'Happily married for 25 years,' said Shirlie. 'Why?'   
      
   'Uh, nothing,' said Stan.   
      
       
      
   Later on the Catholic priest said his sins were challenging for Jesus to   
   forgive.   
      
   'You probably shouldn't marry Shirlie. You have her mother pregnant. It's an   
   abomination of sorts, my child.'   
      
   'I love Shirlie. It's too late anyway. We fooled around, and she's up the   
   duff.'   
      
   'Then the blood of Jesus has some challenging work,' sighed Father McCoy and   
   forgave the sins once more of Stan McDirt.   
      
   The End of Chapter Two   
      
       
      
   Chapter Three   
      
   Dangling little Jack on his kneee, Stan McDirt wasn't really nervous.   
   Shirlie's mum was nursing little James, and Shirlie's mum's husband was in his   
   armchair, looking at the two kids.   
      
   'Such a striking resemblance,' commented Mr Jones, Shirlie's dad.   
      
   'Yep, Artie. They are definitely your offspring,' replied Stan.   
      
   'Oh, I think they take much more after mum,' said Shirlie.   
      
   'Yes. I think so to,' said Mrs Jones, and gave Stan a long, hard stare.   
      
   'They'll grow up practically brothers, I would think,' said Mr Jones.   
      
   'Like their blood,' said Mrs Jones, again eyeing Stan McDirt.   
      
   Stan took out a cigarette, and lit up. 'You know. Maybe they both could be   
   garbage men. Langfire City pays the best wages in Australia. For its Garbage   
   workers. Read it in work report.'   
      
   'Fascinating,' said Mr Jones. 'I'm sure garbage work is great, Stan, but they   
   are both destined for things greater. They'll rule the world one day.'   
      
   'I'm sure they will,' said Mrs Jones, who stood, glared once more at Stan,   
   handed young James to her husband, and left the room.   
      
   'Yep. Garbology. We deal with all sorts of shit,' said Stan. 'Literally,' he   
   chuckled.   
      
   'It's fascinating that Shirlie ended up in such a job,' commented Mr Jones. 'I   
   mean, she has a degree in Mathematics, and we were expecting great things. But   
   no, she chose menial labour, and Langfire City GD.'   
      
   'To stay humble,' said Shirlie. 'Pastor Robinson always comments to the   
   congregation that the Lord Jesus likes humble souls. It's how proper baptists   
   should be.'   
      
   'Indeed,' said Mr Jones, who didn't go to church that regularly, but still   
   affirmed the faith somewhat.   
      
   'Garbology. That's their future,' said Stan, looking at his son.   
      
   'Well, I'll be proud of them both regardless,' said Artie or Arthur Jones, and   
   made funny faces at his apparent new son.'   
      
   'I'm sure they will,' said Stan. 'I'm sure they will.'   
      
   The End of Chapter Three   
      
       
      
   Chapter Four   
      
   Jim and Stan were shooting the shit at 'Biffo's Bar and Grill' in downtown   
   Langfire City. It was the hangout club for Langfire City GD workers.   
      
   'There's slugger,' said Stan. 'Remember, when he goes out on his next shift,   
   we strike. The bastard will get what's coming to him.'   
      
   Slugger Magee had had a bit of a punch up on Stan recently, and Stan was   
   pissed, wanting revenge. Jim had agreed to go with the project, and when   
   Slugger was next on shift they had a surprise waiting for him.   
      
   'Hey, Slugger,' said Stan. 'No hard feelings mate.'   
      
   'Still fucking your mother?' asked Slugger.   
      
   'Every night,' replied Stan.   
      
   'Yeh, no hard feelings, cunt,' replied Slugger, and sat down at their table   
   with his beer.   
      
   'When you next on shift?' asked Jim.   
      
   'Afternoon shift. Got to be there at 1.'   
      
   'Right,' said Jim, eyeing Stan.   
      
   'You know, for a motherfucker, you sometimes have a good side,' said Slugger,   
   glaring at Stan. 'To bad you are so fucking gay about it.'   
      
   'Gotcha,' nodded Stan. 'Too gay for Slugger Magee.'   
      
   'But you can buy the next round and redeem yourself,' said Slugger. 'And then   
   go home and fuck your mother some more.' Slugger was indeed a crude son of a   
   bitch.   
      
   Later on.   
      
   'Are you sure the paperwork was filled properly?' asked Stan to Jim.   
      
   'Don't worry. We're taking her for a wash.'   
      
   The garbage truck they were on still had its load of garbage, and as they   
   travelled through Langfire city for a destination, Stan chuckled.   
      
   'You sure you want the slack which will come?' asked Jim.   
      
   'The cunt's got it coming to him,' said Stan. 'And besides, we're here.'   
      
   They pulled up in front of a house, which was the abode of Slugger Maggee,   
   currently at work, and proceeded to back up onto the front lawn, hit the   
   unload button on their tip, and both got out and watched as a ton of garbage   
   started falling down onto the    
   front lawn of Slugger Magee's lawn.'   
      
   'That'll teach the cunt,' said Stan, and grinned all the way back to the depot.   
      
   The End of Chapter Four   
      
       
      
   Chapter Five   
      
   Stan was pissed off. Everybody had a criticism. Fuck em all.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)