From: christusrex_inc@hotmail.com   
      
   Preface   
      
   How is it possible for a small lily flower to contain an ocean? Does it not   
   sound absurd? Like sheer madness? Yet it is true that the desire of our   
   individual ego is to be the master of everything. This is its dharma. The   
   limitless thirst of our doer "I"    
   wants all. Similarly, how can a drop of water fathom an ocean? The drop need   
   not fear that it will lose itself upon merger with the ocean; the drop becomes   
   the ocean.   
      
   Once Paramahamsa Ramakrishna[1] asked his disciple Narendra, "If you are a bee   
   and Saccidananda (the ocean of infinite bliss) is a pot full of honey placed   
   in front of you, what would you do?"   
      
   Narendra, who was always considered brilliant, replied, "I would carefully sit   
   at the edge and slowly sip it."   
      
   The Master laughed merrily and said, "You fool - you won't drown by jumping   
   into it; rather it will make you immortal!"   
      
   A brother of mine, Ac. Rameshvarananda Avt., thought that I would be fit to   
   write a chapter of the book he was preparing on Shrii P. R. Sarkar. He asked   
   me to write about the mystical aspect of Baba. This book is an expansion and   
   development of that    
   original article.   
      
   It is impossible to write about Him unless one becomes Him. Yet I ventured to   
   try only because of my human anxiety to share my feelings with others. Once   
   Baba said, "Every human has this wont: to share his or her knowledge." I did   
   not make this attempt    
   to gather kudos from readers. Rather I want to share a few experiences and a   
   little knowledge which my Master generously bestowed upon me.   
      
   I feel that all of us close to Him suffer a sharp pain because of our   
   inability to communicate the compassionate love we received from Him to our   
   near and dear ones. This pain is felt by those whom He chose to be close to   
   Him. He is beyond the factors of    
   time, place and person. His love is so pure and blemish less, that it is   
   completely above all earthly cares and comforts. That love of pure   
   consciousness, though somewhat akin to worldly love, is much more subtle,   
   wonderful and infinite.   
      
   All thinking persons who were in His divine embrace feel that writing   
   truthfully what they felt must invite sharp criticisms. Some may claim that   
   what we write is all lies. Others will not believe what we write. Some people   
   may even think that the writer    
   is exaggerating in the hope of becoming famous. Most fear that they will be   
   called mad by the intelligentsia if they write in a forthright way all that   
   they encountered and felt. Because of these fears, most devotees desist from   
   writing.   
      
   Whatever the result, I want to truthfully narrate a fraction of what I   
   understood and realized. When the rush of ideas takes place, I become   
   irrelevant. My only hope is that some spiritually thirsty seeker might find   
   these writings to be like a glass of    
   cool water in the desert of the material world. If so, I will deem my attempt   
   successful.   
      
   Personally, I feel that my life only began when, by His grace, I met Baba in   
   May 1965. From then until His great departure on October 21, 1990, I ran a   
   marathon race trying to be physically close to Him. I felt as the Upanishads   
   say,   
      
   Durat sudure tadantike ca.   
   He is farther than far,   
   And He is so near as to be in your "I" feeling.   
      
   Sometimes I felt that this Entity, illumination personified, was several light   
   years away from me and that I was wasting my life pursuing this impossible   
   task. I felt tired and like a lost traveller waiting for divine dispensation.   
      
   But there were many more occasions when I felt that no one could be closer to   
   Baba than I; it was impossible even to think otherwise. A few times I even   
   found Him within me.   
      
   In this book I have capitalized all references to Baba to show my deep respect   
   for my Master. The translations of Baba's Prabhat Sam'giita songs are not   
   official.   
      
   I must tender my sincere thanks to  sister, Avtk. Ananda Gaorii Ac., for   
   editing the draft, and to Ac. Saoreshvarananda Avt. who typed it. I also thank   
   Ramakrsna of Australia for the photograph that adorns the front cover of the   
   printed book. I greatly    
   value the assistance of Jayanta Kumar and Ac. Giridevananda Avt. who helped   
   with the proofreading. I also tender my sincere thanks to Ac. Maheshvarananda   
   Avt. who encouraged me by taking the first and last dictations from me.   
   Without his labour and    
   assistance I could not have finished this book.   
      
   I want to repeat what a great devotee once said about His inadequacy in   
   spreading the message of his Guru: "Whatever good I have said is His; whatever   
   wrong I have said is mine." In the same way I apologize to the readers for any   
   mistakes caused due to    
   my excessive anxiety to share these experiences.   
      
   Acarya Bhaskarananda Avadhuta   
      
      
      
      
      
   My Early Astonishments   
   We affectionately call the founder of Ananda Marga as Baba, which means "most   
   affectionate". He is Shrii Shrii Anandamurtiji, spiritual Master for millions.   
   The physical form through which He expressed Himself was known as Shrii   
   Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar,    
   who was born in Jamalpur, India in 1921.   
      
   Sannyasiis (renunciates) greatly attracted me when I was young. I used to feel   
   then that something was incomplete inside me. I desired a spiritual master   
   from the age of ten, and each year after that my longing increased. I spent my   
   leisure time studying    
   philosophy and the lives of saints and mystics of different cultures and   
   disciplines, yet no books satisfied me. I deeply yearned for direct perception   
   and experience of the Supreme Consciousness.   
      
   I received initiation through  Acarya  Pranavananda Avadhuta of Ananda Marga   
   at a time when I was most tormented by the search for a master. I expressly   
   wanted the greatest guru, and I was not willing to accept anyone else.   
      
   When I met Baba, I felt as though I had known Him before. I felt like a lost   
   child finding his father.   
      
   He was of  short height of five feet and two inches, with broad chest,   
   muscular hands and legs, and superb athletic strength. I have never seen more   
   beautifully shaped fingers and hands. His skin was alabastrine. The peach   
   flower is initially a heavenly    
   pink before turning white, yet even this colour cannot accurately describe the   
   soft celestial glow of His palms and face.   
      
   He always remained meticulously clean. He dressed soberly in His traditional   
   dhoti and kurta everyday, even on tours abroad.   
      
   His bewitching smile was at once affectionate and mischievous. Just a glance   
   from Him was sufficient to arouse one's sleeping divinity. He had complete   
   mastery over all His expressions.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)