[continued from previous message]   
      
   In a DMC[15] in northern India, a few workers and I were sitting with Baba   
   when He was reclining after lunch. He was speaking freely with us, so some   
   workers discussed their problems. Baba generously began offering very specific   
   solutions that included    
   specific details about different people He had never met. This amazed some of   
   the workers, so they asked, "Baba, how do You know about people You never met   
   before?"   
      
   He replied, "I require only one second to know about anything."   
      
   Then I said, "Baba, You are confusing us, because You don't even take one   
   second! I always watch You speak, and details are constantly flowing from Your   
   mouth without pause!"   
      
   Baba smiled lovingly and nodded His head. He explained, "So how can you know   
   this? You need a torch. With that torch you can see everything." Then I   
   understood that His torch is the torch of omniscience. Only persons who   
   cultivate their power of    
   concentration to an extraordinary degree get even momentary access to the   
   realm of intuition or knowledge in its pure form.   
      
   On another occasion, a college student in 1969 asked in Ranchi jágrti, "Baba,   
   You know so many things. What is your qualification?"   
      
   Baba did not answer, but the boy repeated the question many times. Finally   
   Baba said, "I have only one qualification: I know the One. You also try to   
   know the One. Know One, know all." From this it was clear that He was   
   effortlessly established in    
   omniscience.   
      
   Slipping into the unconscious mind is not governed by any rule or condition.   
   It happens only after one's doer "I" feeling is defeated and surrenders. If a   
   sádhaka wants to do psycho-spiritual research, she or he will have to do   
   an'udhyana or chase their    
   Is't'a, the omniscient Guru. Suppose your Is't'a says to you in dhyana,   
   "You're a nasty vicious scoundrel and I don't want anything more to do with   
   you!" Then you will have to reply, "No, You are my everything and I will not   
   leave You." If this is not    
   sufficient, then you will have to chase Him. During the chase, it is baffling   
   to find multiple forms of ego stealthily appearing in front of you and yet you   
   are unaware these are the result of your doer "I". The moment you catch it, it   
   again disappears.    
   So I am tempted to say that mayá and the doer "I" feeling are one and the same.   
      
   Remaining physically alone is very crucial to this process. The witnessing "I"   
   of the doer "I" becomes dominant when you are alone. This makes it easy to   
   watch when the doer "I" slips into the subconscious and unconscious mind. When   
   you are alone you can    
   identify your sam'skaras and discover which ones are stronger. You can analyse   
   your thoughts, noticing their patterns and frequency of recurrence. Thus you   
   can cleanse the subconscious mind of these thoughts with your mantra ideation.   
      
   This "I" feeling, however, becomes a block or an impediment in further   
   expansion or progress. Now in what way does this "I" feeling explode? This   
   aspect I still had- to understand. Baba appeared in another dream and   
   explained, "When you are crying for    
   Parama Purus'a, out of longing for the Great, the endoplasm gets melted. If   
   one is insulted, on the other hand, then the endoplasm explodes and   
   cetanasphot'a occurs."   
      
   The clash, tension and helplessness one feels when being insulted, and the   
   subsequent resignation to the Cosmic will, develops wisdom, which is the   
   impression of the Cosmic Mahar.   
      
   When I was a new worker, in June 1966, I felt very attached to Baba and did   
   not want to leave Jamalpur to go to my posting. Baba then told me, "Find Me in   
   My Mission." I was still reluctant to go. Then He said, "Between you and Me   
   there is only one enemy.   
   "   
      
   "What is that, Baba?"   
      
   "Ego," He replied.   
      
   "Baba, remove it immediately!"   
      
   He smiled and said, "It is not easy. It takes time."   
      
   "Baba, how can I remove it?"   
      
   "Get yourself insulted."   
      
   "Baba, please save me from the insults of the world. You can insult me as much   
   as You like."   
      
   Then He mysteriously replied, "As and when I find time, I will do it."   
      
   I could not realize in those days how hard this process was. I forgot about   
   this conversation.   
      
   Ten years later, when Baba came out of jail in 1978, He started insulting me   
   without any apparent reason. He constantly rebuked me for the next eight   
   years, saying, "Idiot nonsense scoundrel! Tall talking, high-sounding   
   do-little boy! You have so much    
   potentiality, yet do nothing, whiling away the time! Inefficient grade number   
   three!"   
      
   Though these words did not bother me, He also used words in public that hurt   
   me very much. Two things happened inside me. I intensely hated His treatment.   
   Simultaneously, my longing for His love became stronger. Through my pain and   
   tears, I experienced    
   an irresistible attraction towards Him. It felt as though He was constantly   
   twisting and squeezing me, just as if He was wringing out a wet towel.   
      
   Gradually His insults felt less painful, until by 1986 I actually started to   
   enjoy them. Then I suddenly remembered Baba's advice to me twenty years   
   before. I realized that this long, painful process was the fulfillment of the   
   promise He made for my    
   personal development.   
      
   What we call conscience is the expanded form of consciousness. The quality of   
   developed conscience is loving all equally. As this capacity increases, the   
   spiritual aspirant becomes more dynamic internally. He or she starts slowly   
   getting lost in the    
   process of psycho-spiritual parallelism. Bhava or Cosmic ideation is the start.   
      
   In 1981 Baba began to personally review each spiritual aspirant. He called   
   this review Dharma Samikss'a. The purpose, in my opinion, was to pulverize the   
   ego and thus explode the endoplasm in cetanasphota. He said that this process   
   was not done by Shiva    
   or Krs'n'a. Baba promised that anyone who underwent this experience will never   
   fall below human life. This was His special grace to the devotees.   
      
   Though painful, from this we can understand the benevolent intention Baba had   
   when He sometimes insulted His devotees. In these situations, He tried never   
   to allow people to see through His acting. He did not want the seriousness of   
   His dramas to be    
   broken, and He wanted the full effect of His acting to be felt. Only when a   
   devotee realized that He was acting would He admit the truth.   
      
   Ronei s'e ishk mein bebak ho gaye, dhoye gaye aise hum bus pak ho gae.   
   By crying in ecstatic love for the beloved,   
      
   I became liberated   
      
   And was thus cleansed and felt purged.   
      
   After a lot of weeping in secrecy for the beloved (Cosmic Consciousness or   
   Parama Purus 'a), one gets the feeling of purity, humility and lightness -   
   that is, the feeling of surrender.   
      
   When one longs for Parama Purus'a, one's sense of awareness again increases   
   and one feels the proximity of turiiya (the fourth stage of spiritual   
   realization) making all sensory phenomena seem as a dream.   
      
   Mei barasti hei fazaon mein nashatari hai 'Mere saki ne ka hein jam uchale   
   honge. [Urdu]   
      
   Wine showers from the heavens, The inebriating love lingers on,   
      
   As my beloved bartender pours barrels and barrels.   
      
   The divine inebriation referred to here is, of course, experienced only in the   
   state of intense longing for Parama Purus'a.   
      
   Shamma lei ayei hei, jalwa gahe jana se ab to alum mei ujale hi ujale honge.   
   From the magic abode of my beloved, I have brought a lambent flame and now the   
   sky is filled with effulgent light.   
      
   This longing is physically very exhausting. Paramahamsa Ramakrishna used to   
   suffer physically. Miira wrote:   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)