XPost: alt.slack, alt.2600.hackerz   
   From: docmartian@verizon.net   
      
   Pow   
   by Kevin Anderson   
      
   dedicated to George Herriman   
      
   1.   
   Dat never been told. What happened to me when I was a young pup. Dere I was,   
   looking dumb an long came my dad an save me. You see. I'd just klimbed like   
   2 milez a long way from where I started with a friend of mine. An I thought   
   I was so smart. You see there was snow up there. A long way. But a waterfall   
   too. An so I thought cool lets go see the snow (and the waterfall too) so   
   off we go tra-la-la an river run beside us and I getting tired but I be 7   
   years old and there be snow (and a waterfall too) so that keep me goin.   
   Trail pretty obvious. Friend OK but he not talk much. OK I not talk much   
   either. He had gone to see the waterfall (where there was snow) with his   
   grandfather the day before. He said it not long hike but it was kind of   
   long. River rushing by. It beautiful and loud. Rusharusharusharussshhhhhhhh.   
   Tried to fish in it the day before with my dad but it too rushing with not   
   enough quiet spots. So we going to creek tomorrow where fish hide.   
      
   See. This long time ago when gas was expensive the first time. Whole $1.50.   
   Dad cuss a lot about dat. Dad cuss a lot too when the wood paneled station   
   wagon he just bought from skinny little ginger guy broke down. Oh wait. Dat   
   not yet. This when 1972 Dodge Dart break down hauling trailer in the middle   
   of the desert. It was about twenty miles from home but it seem like long   
   way. I all happy because Mom and Dad give me and my brother bag full of   
   comics and coloring books and football ii and games and crosswords and stuff   
   so we shut up for the trip. So we have to sit out in the 110 degree heat   
   til' Mom start complainin' and we go to gas station with restaurant on top   
   of it. I ordered a hamburger and it was kind of dry. So we have to go home   
   after Dad fix the car enough to get us home. I think he just have to dump a   
   bunch of anti-freeze and water in it cuz radiator busted. So we go home, and   
   Mom and Dad take away the bag full of comics and coloring books and football   
   ii and games and crosswords and stuff cuz we not on vacation now. Like if   
   your Mom and Dad tell you to go to bed without dessert when it be banana   
   split with hot fudge and chocolate sprinkles and m&ms and skittles. I too   
   old to cry, I smart enough to not be pissed off, but I sure was sad. I was   
   halfway through a word search with superman words. Mom and Dad say it be   
   week before we be able to go on vacation again. Dad have to fix the radiator   
   or something. I forget. Not that I didn't care or didn't know what it was,   
   but it was 30 years ago.   
      
   So we go to the library and I read lots of Danny Dunn books and Edward Eager   
   books. Half Magic was my favorite, in dat one you have to wish for twice as   
   much a wish as you want or you only get half your wish. Half-zombie eating   
   Mrs. Mauck, bad teacher.   
      
   Whole week pass and it seem to take for ever. Wanna go on vacation. Wanna go   
   on vacation. And finally (after I check out a whole bunch of books from the   
   library like Lord of the Rings and Interview with the Vampire (see I was a   
   precocious reader but I also read books about kids so I know what to do as a   
   kid and not go trying to slay Sauron or interview vampires.)) yay we go on   
   vacation again. I ask Dad if we get to eat at the restaurant on top of the   
   gas station again. He and mom both say no together real quick then. Then I   
   go back to doing the word search with superman words. I find Kryptonite and   
   I find Lex Luthor and I find Lois Lane and I find Krypto (the superdog) and   
   I find Bizarro (him backwards Superman) and I find Daily Planet and I find   
   Metropolis and I find other words too but I forget what. So bout den we are   
   back to where we were earlier when car break down. Car is still working this   
   time. So we keep going to Sequoia to see the giant trees.   
      
   2.   
   Hokay. So now you get the picture. This all about when I was a lil' kid and   
   the forest and Sequoia National Park and dat stupid waterfall. But it not.   
   That just the jumpin' off point. This is about all kinds of stuff. Look. Two   
   books. Morte Darthur and Finnegans Wake have absolutely nothing to do with   
   this book. So if you pick them up to look for influences. You be looking   
   long way. Krazy Kat don't have much to do with this book either, but it sure   
   gives me an excuse to manglefy the English language. Not dat the English   
   Language in proper don't manglefy on its own evry 500 years or so. I dare   
   you. OK. I save you the effort. Here Sentence. And whan Sir Bleoberys and   
   Sir Ector were comyn there as Quene Gwenyver was lodged, in a castell by the   
   sesyde (and thorow the grace of God the Quene was recovirde of hir malady),   
   than she asked the two knyghtes fro whens they cam. That from the Norton   
   Critical Edition of Le Morte Darthur. An you all lolcat people think you   
   someting new. Here someting from Krazy Kat by George Herriman, Ignatz: EVERY   
   DOT A DELIGHT - EVERY SPOT A JOY - THIS DAY PROMISES MUCH. Officer Pup: SIN   
   IS AFOOT - THE MOTTLED MENACE MARCHES ON - AND I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. Do   
   you see? How 7337 is dat. But all this exposition and you forget about my   
   story. What story? Dis just be you blabberin' an' babblin. Cept It Ain't. MY   
   PSYKIK POWERZ BE WRITING DIS STORY AN' EVEN IF YOO PUT TEH BOOK DOWN. YOO BE   
   IN MY COMPLETE CONTROL. JK. What I'm trying to say I guess is that 10 years   
   from now peepul be goin' 'tut tut what unusual grammatical structure and   
   abuse of the English language, harrumph'. But den 35 years frum now. Again   
   it be like want me cheezeburger an macaroni por teh massez of supertings an   
   stuff. So here. Now. All you need to know is teh reezon I don go full on   
   lolcat or 7337 is because I want to make money 10 years from now as well as   
   jus' now. However should you decide to read it lolcat in you head den you   
   might be happier kitteh then if you try an read it like i write it. Like   
   Quene Gwenyver was lodged, in a castell by the sesyde. I mean that shit   
   makes you nuts.   
      
   3.   
   So. There me is ridin' in the back seat of a Dodge Dart that has that goldy   
   color you don't see anymore cept on Olde English cans. An I got a ton of   
   books an some video game or dat electronic trivia game whose name i ferget   
   but you can plug in cartridges with like sports or comic books or history   
   and then have all different questions till it break after 5 years or so when   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)