XPost: alt.culture.alaska, alt.appalachian, alt.politics.democrats.d   
   XPost: soc.culture.african.american   
   From: bksherman@twitter.com   
      
   U.S.—CNN's ratings have somehow tanked even worse than they   
   previously had as Americans began to quarantine themselves and   
   stopped taking commercial flights, emptying American airports   
   and robbing the cable channel of its captive audience.   
      
   While CNN is usually able to claim millions of captive viewers   
   every day, their audience dropped to almost nothing overnight.   
   With airports completely devoid of weary travelers with dead   
   smartphones and nothing to look at but CNN, the core of the   
   channel's audience has disappeared overnight.   
      
   Screens at airports across the country continued to play CNN to   
   empty airports, creating a spooky, dystopian atmosphere as hosts   
   ranted to no one in particular.   
      
   On-air personalities were quick to blame the ratings dive on   
   President Donald Trump, suggesting that he had a hand in   
   creating the virus specifically so that CNN would implode.   
      
   "This is clearly a Trump and Fox News plot to destroy us," said   
   Brian Stelter. "The anti-science, racist Trump administration   
   wants you to believe this started in China, but it was clearly   
   created in a U.S. government lab to stop the extremely popular   
   CNN!"   
      
   Overcome with rage, Stelter then transformed into his alternate   
   personality, a raging, hulking, green monster who breaks things   
   and rants against Trump and Fox News all the time, which is   
   indistinguishable from his other ego except he's green and looks   
   a little less like George Costanza.   
      
   https://babylonbee.com/news/cnns-ratings-collapse-to-zero-as-   
   coronavirus-fears-empty-american-airports   
       
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)