From: LG-usteen@asdf.fi   
      
   This is somewhat of an omnibus edition of anagrammed Anna's News   
   Clippings people, from March to yesterday.  I hope there's something   
   in here that works for ya!   
   - - - - -   
      
   The Lufkin, Texas, police department spread the news about an Easter   
   Egg hunt advertised on Facebook.  The twist is that the cops were   
   hunting for the man behind the hunt, who had posted clues for folks   
   eager to scour the city's parks for plastic eggs containing marijuana.   
   Officers' scavenger hunt did not lead them to the culprit - identified   
   on the basis of Facebook posts as Avante Nicholson - but the clues did   
   lead them to four of the eggs.  Concluding that Nicholson had not   
   placed the final one, they called off the latter search.  The next   
   day, a park-goer and his grand-daughter carried the fifth egg into   
   department headquarters.   
      
        Avante Nicholson = Innocent lad's ova   
   If we don't buy that he's so innocent, there's always just   
        Avante Nicholson = Into ova channels   
      
      
   Thanks to a trial now under way, the public know that Australis's Erin   
   Patterson can boast an impressive dead-in-law tally.  Though her   
   estranged husband did not accept the invitation for a home-cooked meal   
   /cum/ discussion of her medical issues, his parents, aunt, and uncle   
   did.  Having enjoyed a beef Wellington preparation inspired in part by   
   a notice from the Victoria Department of Health, all four were   
   hospitalised the next day with medical issues of their own.  In the   
   absence of evidence that they'd consumed the locally growing death-cap   
   mushrooms mentioned in state-wide health advisories, three of the four   
   ultimately succumbed to /Amanita/ mushroom toxins in the following week.   
     While Patterson's claimed cancer diagnosis had given her a cover   
   story for eschewing the beef dish, it soon became apparent that she was   
   cancer-free and had lied about having suffered symptoms similar to her   
   guests' and about having foraged for mushrooms.  Patterson maintains   
   that she is innocent of anything murder-related.   
      
   Perhaps she was bound to cook up _something_:   
        Erin Patterson = Apron interest   
      
   But there's plenty more too:   
        Erin Patterson   
        = No inert repast!   
        = Rare, potent sin   
        = Treat in person   
        = No partner ties!   
        = Arrest, into pen...   
      
      
   Humouring one of her charges, who couldn't sleep, a child-minder in   
   Barton County, Kansas, checked for the under-bed monster that had been   
   preoccupying him.  She revised her assumptions when coming face to   
   face with the monster, former resident Martin Villalobos, Jr.  He leapt   
   out from beneath the young boy's bed, whereupon he resisted the   
   babysitter's efforts to restrain him and bowled over a child.   
   Villalobos, 27, was jailed on the following day.  Since he'd been   
   under judge's orders to stay off the premises after having breached a   
   previous protection-from-abuse order, no bail was granted this time.   
      
        Martin Villalobos = _mortal_ villain, SOB   
      
      
   Annamae Cabalsa Martinez, 45, suffered a flat tyre while driving along   
   an interstate highway in Utah at nearly 200 km/hour.  Therefore, she   
   rang roadside recovery services to request help in patching the   
   puncture, which had been inflicted by police road spikes.  The sound   
   of amplified commands for Martinez to exit the vehicle prompted   
   dispatchers to forward the call to the cops, who put one of the   
   troopers at the scene on the line.  At that point, she surrendered.   
      
        Annamae C. Martinez = An in-car amazement   
        Annamae Cabalsa Martinez = AAA laments brazen maniac   
        [Or is this better?:  AAA's brazen, mental maniac]   
      
      
   When California's Jamison Webster failed to return home after   
   visiting son Richard Leyva at a Motel 6 in El Cajon, California, her   
   other son visited the motel and promptly rang the police to report   
   that only her Hyundai Sonata was there - with her corpse in the boot.   
   Before officers arrived, 'Leyva got into the Hyundai and drove off,   
   striking his brother in the process', prompting an attempted traffic   
   stop, then a pursuit that ended with a crash into two other vehicles   
   and a stun-gun deployment.  Both Leyva, 24, and Webster, 51, were   
   removed from the scene for further investigation.   
      
        Richard Leyva ~ had car, verily   
        [Or, perhaps better:  Richard Leyva = Ah, car devilry!]   
        I hardly crave ~ Richard Leyva.   
        Richard Leyva = A very rich lad?   
      
      
   Michigan veterinarian Amanda Hergenreder spotted an ailing   
   pitbullish mutt tied to a pickup truck beside a coffee shop.  After   
   speaking with coffee-shop staff, the local animal shelter, and the   
   cops, she untied the dog and carried him to her vehicle   
   for a two-hour drive to her clinic.  She reports that the 16-year-old   
   canine, which she named Biggby, is now doing well, four months after   
   receiving $3,000 of care for a severe urinary-tract infection, a   
   rotten tooth, etc.  However, Kent County prosecutor Chris Becker   
   reports that homeless man Chris Hamilton, 57, wants his beloved Vinny   
   back.   
     Hamilton explained: 'Never neglected him.'  Becker, who is   
   charging Hergenreder with larceny, said there is no 'right to just   
   take something because you feel something's wrong'.   
      
        Amanda Hergenreder ~ garnered a remand, eh?   
        [Another option:  Agree and remand her?]   
        Amanda Hergenreder = Hang a redeemer? Darn.   
        Amanda Hergenreder = A harm-ender enraged.   
      
      
   United Nations judge Lydia Mugambe, a 49-year-old Ugandan woman who   
   lives in the UK, is a High Court judge in Uganda.  And even has   
   diplomatic immunity.  Those are the first things she told the police   
   officer who arrived at her home to arrest her under the Modern Slavery   
   Act for forcing another woman to provide her with free child-care and   
   maid's services rather than seek steady employment.  Her next words   
   were 'I am not a criminal'.  Oxford Crown Court has disagreed,   
   convicting her of such crimes as facilitating travel with a view to   
   exploitation and conspiracy to intimidate a witness.  And the UN have   
   stated that any diplomatic status she may have enjoyed is void.   
     While it might be true that 'I came here as a student [for an Oxford   
   law DPhil and] don't need anyone to work for me', prosecutors   
   contented that she clearly was not averse to 'obtaining someone to   
   make her life easier and at the least possible cost to herself', at   
   the cost of the victim reporting that she was 'lonely' and   
   'stuck'.   
      
        Lydia Mugambe = A glum maid? Bye!   
        [Unless this is better:  Maybe lug maid]   
      
      
   Finally, the Florida Highway Patrol's midnight pursuit of a reckless   
   motorist in Pasco County didn't end when the driver erratically   
   dropped off a passenger.  Neither did it stop when a tree eventually   
   stopped the pickup: Dalmatian-onesie-clad Dylan Keith Devereaux   
   sprinted from it.  Though promptly tased to the ground, he wrestled   
   with troopers, who managed to attach only a single handcuff before a   
   second dash for freedom.  He lost his flip-flops, and officers lost   
   him in the trees.   
     They knew where to look, though - his girlfriend's home beside the   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)