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Forums before death by AOL, social media and spammers... "We can't have nice things"

   alt.anagrams      Creative manipulation of English words?      19,138 messages   

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   Message 19,125 of 19,138   
   Lardy Girl to All   
   Two weirdies to the rescue   
   25 Jun 25 17:38:22   
   
   From: LG-usteen@asdf.fi   
      
   Michael Royce Sparks, a resident of California's Olive Dell Ranch   
   nudist resort, detested the noise of his neighbours' generator and   
   their comments on him being 'sinful', but he snapped only when they   
   bought him a hot dog. Weeks later, a prison inmate relayed his   
   confession that the insult of a $1 wiener had led him to invite the   
   couple, in their 70s, to the bunker beneath his trailer - for killing.   
     A detective sent to investigate had just detected a foul odour there   
   when colleagues shared text messages wherein Sparks, 62, replied to a   
   relative's 'I am watching news. Something going on where you live.'   
   with 'It's me. Committing suicide today. Take care. Bye.' and then the   
   clarification 'Chopped up my neighbors'.  The detective's presence   
   sparked a genuine suicide attempt, but the rifle jammed.   
     While Dan and Stephanie Menard's body parts were found in black   
   plastic bags and Sparks's orange bucket, their dog could not be   
   recovered: after killing Cuddles, Sparks had flung the body to the   
   coyotes.  He has not yet spoken in court, whereas another resident of   
   the nudist colony who offered the excuse 'My dog ate my hearing aid'.   
      
        Research my sicko pal:  Michael Royce Sparks   
        Michael Royce Sparks = Slice, hack, & spray! More!   
        ... So recipe is 'Mr Hack & Slay'   
      
      
   And we have the tale of April Schmitt's engagement ring.  Driving   
   home from the Pittsburgh airport after a business trip, Schmitt   
   noticed that the ring, from 1992, was missing its diamond.  She   
   remembered that, during retrieval of her luggage, 'my hand got stuck   
   between the suitcase and the edge of the carousel; it pinched my hand,   
   so I pulled my hand back really quickly'.  Rushing back to the airport,   
   she was joined in her search by engineer Tom Riordan, electrician   
   Steve Turkaly, and two other maintenance workers.  She gave up after   
   90 minutes but was summoned back four hours later: the maintenance   
   staff reported success after having removed panels from the carousel   
   and scraped through the floor-level dirt with taped-together   
   paint-stirrers.  Schmitt said: 'It restored my faith in humanity.'   
      
   Somewhat of an anti-gram:   
        April Schmitt = This calm trip   
      
      
      
   --   
   A n n a  S h e f l  - For email, substitute 'usenet' for its anagram   
     - "Never eat more than you can lift."  --Miss Piggy -   
     alt.anagrams FAQ:  http://theanna.org/grams/   
       Weird news archive and more:  http://theanna.org/   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)   

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