[continued from previous message]   
      
   wanted, but no free paper yet. He told Joe to write out a check in   
   advance   
   for their final dollar amount and to bring it and his wife, Catherine,   
   to the   
   shop the next day.   
      
      
   The next day Harlan continued to work the salesman. After some time he   
   asked   
   JMS and Catherine to walk around the building three times. When JMS   
   asked why   
   he should do this, Harlan replied, "Trust me!" With some trepidation   
   Joe   
   acquiesed, and he and Catherine walked around the shop three times.   
   When they   
   came back in Harlan had gotten both fax machines at the price he   
   wanted and   
   and free boxes of paper.   
      
      
   After leaving the store, Joe asked Harlan what he had done. Harlan   
   explained   
   to the salesman that Joe's lovely wife was, in fact, a harridan, a   
   shrew, an   
   utter harpy who would make Joe's life miserable if he spent one thin   
   dime   
   more on a fax and paper than the amount written on the pre-written   
   check.   
   Needless to say, JMS has not been back to that shop since.   
      
      
   When his turn to talk came again, JMS had another Harlan story. The   
   Ellisons,   
   JMS, and Catherine were out at a restaurant. This was one of those   
   restaurants that has an entertainer who goes from table to table,   
   annoying   
   the guests. In this case the entertainer was a magician. Joe mentioned   
   how he   
   hated having to be entertained while eating his dinner, and hoped that   
   the   
   magician would not come over to their table. Harlan said that he would   
   take   
   care of it. When Joe asked how, Harlan replied, "trust me." Harlan   
   summoned   
   the waitress to the table, who in turn summoned the manager of the   
   restaurant.   
   Harlan whispered something in to the manager's ear. JMS could not hear   
   what   
   was being said, but could only note with a peculiar sinking feeling   
   that the   
   manager's eyes grew wider and wider. The manager then hurried over to   
   the   
   magician who then whispered into his ear, and it was the magician's   
   turn for   
   his eyes to grow wide.   
      
      
   Their meal was uninterrupted. Having left the restaurant, Joe asked   
   Harlan   
   what he had told the manager. Harlan said that he told the manager   
   that Joe's   
   father had been a theatrical agent who specialized in novelty acts,   
   vaudevillians, and magicians. One day, a magician had killed Joe's   
   father.   
   They were in the restaurant celebrating Joe's release from jail on   
   assault   
   charges from brutalizing a magician.   
      
   Joe has not been the the restaurant since.   
      
   After more embarrassing stories had been told, both featuring and void   
   of   
   Harlan Ellison, the floor was opened to questions. One question,   
   regarding   
   Harlan's appearance on the program Politically Incorrect, aroused   
   Harlan's   
   ire. He said that one of his opponents on the program was a black   
   woman   
   conservative, which was a concept he though patently ridiculous. He   
   then   
   proceeded to expose her ignorance when they were talking about the   
   communist   
   witch-hunts of the '50's and the Hollywood black lists:   
      
      
   "And this idiot narc, this squealer, is coming off on how great Kazan   
   is, who   
   ratted on people, people who couldn't work for a decade. And I said to   
   her,   
   'where are you gettin' this crap? Are you readin' it in a book?' And   
   she said,   
   'no, I didn't read it in a book.' And I said, 'what book did you ever   
   read on   
   the black list?' She said, "I never read a book on the black list.'   
   'So what   
   did you read?' And she goes and hauls out the goddamn fax that they   
   [the   
   staff of her radio program] sent her that day. And I said, 'how dare   
   you come   
   on TV and pretend you have an opinion when you're as dumb as a pile of   
   mud!"   
      
   [non Ellison content snipped]   
      
   Ellison called such TV executives, "Bo-stick-stone stupid." He   
   elaborated   
   that, when he started in television decades ago, at least the execs   
   were   
   familiar with some books, plays, and films. Then they only knew film.   
   Then   
   they only knew TV. Today, they only know the TV of the last 15-20   
   years,   
   "which is why they worship sh*t like The Partridge Family and The   
   Flintstones,   
   and we know that we're in the twilight of Western Civilization when   
   Pauly   
   Shore becomes a star."   
      
      
   Ellison prescribed the stupidity of TV executives to a combination of   
   arrogance and stupidity inculcated by MBA programs. "There's no way   
   through   
   it, around it, below it, or above it," he said, "they've got your ass   
   every   
   time." He continued, "every time you think you've taught them a lesson   
   they   
   send in another cadre of morons. The universities are turning them out   
   faster   
   than we can beat them down!"   
      
   [non Ellison content snipped]   
      
      
   Kittman then asked the question, it seemed to him that a lot of   
   science   
   fiction actors were 'phoning there performances in.' How did the panel   
   feel   
   about that? O'Hare, the only actor in the group, answered that he felt   
   that   
   the performers were doing well, but that SF bumped up against a glass   
   ceiling   
   of credibility, that it could not as a medium be taken seriously.   
   Therefore,   
   very little adult science fiction was produced, or that it led to   
   minimal   
   characterization with which there is little for an actor to work with.   
   Harlan   
   then began to explain his frustration about the current crop of poor   
   'Sci-Fi'   
   movies < an important distinction from SF. Sci-Fi movie, Ellison   
   claims, are   
   there for an audience who only want to "see sh*t exploding." Sci-Fi   
   movies   
   such as the recent film Independence Day, he says, are devoid of any   
   exploration of character. They are not about "people who hurt, or   
   love, or   
   fear." Characters in such productions are of no interest; to   
   paraphrase, they   
   are animatronic robots going through their paces, waiting for the next   
   special effect to happen. Such films reminded him of Flashdance. He   
   capped   
   his screed whimsically by saying that Caddy Shack was better than   
   Independence Day < but that both were better than any Chris Farley   
   movie.   
      
      
   -- Harlan Ellison Q&A Session   
      
   Harlan had an hour or so Saturday night. He chose to answer audience   
   questions rather than do a reading, which he saved for Sunday morning.   
   When   
   asked about his time in the Army, he replied that it hadn't been one   
   of the   
   happiest times in his life. He was court-martialed several times,   
   though   
   never convicted. As an alternate to prison, the superiors he offended   
   made   
   him do filthy, demeaning tasks, such as cleaning out the grease traps   
   of Army   
   sinks. He also trained as a Ranger.   
      
      
   His first scrape with military justice occurred when Harlan was first   
   drafted.   
   He had been shipped out to Fort Dix, NJ, for basic training. It was   
   raining,   
   and he was issued a hot, stiff, ugly, olive-drab rain coat. He got off   
   the   
   bus at Fort Dix and was immediately harangued by a passing Corporal.   
   The   
   Corporal ordered Ellison to the Mess.   
      
      
   At the Mess, he was made to wash pots. However, the sink was only a   
   few   
   inches shorter than the 5'5" Ellison; further, it and the pans soaking   
   within   
   were filled with scalding-hot water. Harlan was made to pull the pots   
   out and   
   scrub them clean.   
      
      
   He did his best. His hands burned in the water. The Corporal would not   
   let   
   him remove his heavy raincoat, now stifling. The heat finally got to   
   Harlan   
   and he fell, face-forward, into a pot. His face, his lips, his eyes,   
   were   
   scalded. He jerked back up. Burned and in pain, he went over to the   
   Corporal   
   and said that he couldn't stand it; that his group was probably being   
   processed already; that he wanted to rejoin his company. The Corporal   
   screamed back that Harlan should get back to work. They yelled back   
   and forth   
   for a moment with Harlan demanding to see the company commander; then   
   the   
   Corporal pushed him.   
      
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)