XPost: misc.legal, alt.usenet.kooks   
   From: al00ny@f.law   
      
   BEFORE THE S00PREME DISTRICT FEDERAL MOTHER SUPERIOR COURT OF TOMS RIVER,   
   NEW JERSEY   
      
   _________________________________   
                                    )   
    CHARLES ATLAS BUGGERED NOVINS   )   
                                    )   
                         Plaintiff, )   
                                    )   
                                    )   
        V                           )   
                                    )   
     KA CANNON,                     ) Case No. HEX-4B4F4F4B-YHBT   
     CUJO deSOCKPUPPET,             )   
     ART DECO,                      )   
     ARATZIO BENITO BIZZARRO,       )   
     PINKU-SENSI,                   )   
     RHONDA LEA KIRK,               )   
     KADAICHA MAN                   )   
     GARY BURNORE,                  )   
     HAM SANDWICH,                  )   
     JOHN DOES 1 - 1,000,000        )   
     JANE DOES 1 - 1,000,000        )   
                                    )   
                        Defendants  )   
   _________________________________)   
      
   VERYFRIED KOMPLAINT FOR KONSPIRACY, LIBEL, BOTTOM-KICKING, AND SEDITION   
      
      
   First Cause of Action - Hurting Plaintiff's Widdle Feelings   
      
   Second Cause of Action - Being Laughed At and Pointed At By People With A   
   	Clue   
      
   Third Cause of Action - Poking Holes in Plaintiff's Screeds (Felony)   
      
   Forth Cause of Action - Winning Kook Awards   
      
   Fifth Cause of Action - Being Declared Too Boring To Win Any More Kook   
   	Awards   
      
      
   	CASE CITATIONS AND AUTHORITIES   
      
   * Custer v Sitting Bull - District Court of Little Bighorn   
   * Pickett v Army of Northern Virginia - Superior Court of Gettysburg   
   * Lord Cardigan v Liprandi - Balaclava District Court   
   * Peat Stapleton v deSockpuppet et al - Shasts County Superior Court   
   * Karczewski v State Of Oregon - Oregon Court of Appeals   
   * Parker v Google - US Court for Eastern Pennsylvania District   
   * Regina v Jamie Baillie - Ontario Superior Court of Justice   
   * Pastor Steebie Ray Winter v Teh False Christian Scum et al - Fourth   
   	Circuit Court of Appeals   
   * Schwartz v CIA, FBI, NSA, PTA, ASPCA, and Everyone In The Government -   
   	Supreme Court of the US   
   * Scoville v AHBL - Bexlar County Court	   
   * State of California v Wollmann - San Diego County Court   
      
      
   		PARTIES TO THIS K00KSOOT   
      
   1.	The Plaintiff, Charles Atlas Buggered Novins, is a lawyer, big-   
   bottomed internet tough guy, master of huge information stores administered   
   by Clockbrain, and avers he is someone not to be fucked with.  Plaintiff   
   has an address for service at several typical un-named offices where crude   
   sexual innuendo made by big-bottomed internet tough guys about female staff   
   are key conditions of their employment.   
      
      
   2. 	Defendants BIZZARRO, DECO, deSOCKPUPPET, SENSEI, LEA KIRK, MAN,   
   BURNORE, and CANNON are just these guys, you know?  Each has an address   
   for service @ petitmote.net.   
      
      
   3.	Defendant SANDWICH has an address for service c/o Judge Martini's   
   lunch box.   
      
      
   4.	DOE defendants are included in this action because Plaintiff doesn't   
   want anyone to feel left out.   
      
      
      
   		Jurisdiction   
      
   5. 	Jurisdiction of this Court is proper because Charles Atlas Buggered   
   Novins is an internet tough guy and says so.   
      
      
      
   		Particulars   
      
   6.	Once upon a time, from a newsgroup far, far away, Plaintiff first   
   came to the attention of alt.usenet.kooks on June 19, 2007.  Defendant   
   SENSEI refused the nomination of Plaintiff for the Loony Maroon Award by   
   "Dorkless Von Heinybeiter" / "Lio Convoy" and suspended the franchise of   
   the nominator for fraudulent seconding of that nomination, however   
   Plaintiff was observed to be a very loony maroon.   
      
      
   7.	On June 25 2007, Defendant SENSEI began a number of unsuccessful   
   attempts to give Plaintiff plenty of free clues.  Plaintiff resisted   
   aforementioned free clues with unreasonable force and returned them to   
   SENSEI with postage due and peanut butter stains on the envelope.   
      
      
   8.	On June 30 2007, Plaintiff stated in response to a free clue from   
   defendant SENSEI: "Keeping it light is OK with me.  Anyone, and I do mean   
   ANYONE who understands that what happens on Usenet stays on Usenet is fine   
   with me."   
      
      
   9. 	On or about August 2, 2007, Plaintiff k'laimed defendant deSOCKPUPPET   
   was in fact "Dorkless Von Heinybeiter".   
      
      
   10. 	On or about August 29, 2007, Plaintiff k'laimed defendant   
   deSOCKPUPPET was in fact not only "Dorkless Von Heinybeiter" but also   
   "Kent Wills".   
      
      
   11. 	Shortly thereafter, Plaintiff k'laimed defendant deSOCKPUPPET was   
   in fact not only "Dorkless Von Heinybeiter" and not only "Kent Wills", but   
   three-quarters of the entire posting population of USENET, and that   
   Defendant deSOCKPUPPET was also in fact Defendant SANDWICH and hiding   
   in Judge Martini's lunch box to avoid indictment.   
      
      
   12. 	After Plaintiff poasted the f'acts in paragraph (11) Defendant   
   deSOCKPUPPET did illegally laugh and point at the st00pidity of Plaintiff   
   and his threats, which caused millions of dollars damage to Plaintiff's   
   business.   
      
      
   13.	Shortly thereafter, Defendants BIZZARRO, DECO, deSOCKPUPPET, SENSEI,   
   LEA KIRK, BURNORE, MAN, and CANNON did yea and verily, to wit, feloniously   
   laugh and point at Plaintiff's repeated k'laims and stupidity, thereby   
   causing millions and trillions of dollars damage by causing Plaintiff to   
   place both his feet firmly in his own business.   
      
      
   14.	Plaintiff reacted to free clues passed to him by all Defendants   
   by making k'laims that all Defendants were convicted sex offenders,   
   pedophiles, and that all Defendants were all The One True Roger, however   
   the only poster truly rogered by such k'laims was the Plaintiff.   
      
      
   15. 	Non-parties to this k00ksoot subsequently pointed and laughed at   
   Plaintiff Charles Atlas Buggered Novins' own USENET posts about his brothel   
   activities in Bangkok, Thailand.  Following the Plaintiff's subsequent   
   denials about being ashamed by this discovery of his poasts, and following   
   even more demonstrations by the Plaintiff of his own stupidity, the   
   Plaintiff drew even more negative attention to himself.   
      
      
   16.	Plaintiff avers the one single USENET poast in Exhibit A was somehow   
   published by all Defendants despite the fact that several defendants live   
   in different States and have never all been in the same room at the same   
   time.   
      
      
   17.	Defendant SANDWICH is liable for damages for failure to leave the   
   Judge's lunch box, avoiding service for this kooks00t by so hiding, and   
   thereby failing to prevent Plaintiff Charles Atlas Buggered Novins from   
   being laughed at.   
      
      
   18.	Plaintiff Novins responded with more k'laims that Defendant BURNORE   
   was a registered sex offender and Plaintiff Charles Atlas Buggered Novins   
   then cited the kooksite of Jerry Terrason as evidence for his k'laim.   
   Plaintiff requests that the court ignores the inconvenient fact that he has   
   access to legal databases as part of his profession.  Plaintiff avers it is   
   perfectly okay to cite forged documents placed on the interwebs by fellow   
   net.k00ks (like convicted check forgers) as statements of fact, in lieu of   
   PACER et al whenever Plaintiff makes accusations about other people   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)