From: ronald.j..hall@THRWHITE.remove-xxu-this   
      
     To: alt.bbs.internet   
   Folks, we're gearing up for another round of Final Frontier 2 here at the   
   DarkForce! BBS. We're looking to recruit more players. If you've never   
   played FF2 before, you're in for a real treat. I'm posting the Intro here,   
   so you can get a "feel" about what the game is like. Please be sure and   
   read the Documentation when you play!   
      
   Final Frontier II Introduction:   
      
   As I looked up from my comm display at the alien with discolored black and   
   green splotches all over his face, I felt a wave of pity run deep within my   
   bowels. The tears ran down his cheeks as he sat, shaking, in the plaid   
   Naugahyde seat beside me, slowly telling me his story.   
      
    "It was HORRIBLE," sobbed the broken humanoid." I knew I had the intestinal   
   fortitude to handle it, being descended from Terran kings, but the atrocities   
   committed in the FINAL FRONTIER war were just too hard to bear; especially   
   those in THE DEAD GODS sector...that rebel DARKCHYLD's home turf!!"   
      
    'Kings? What?'  I thought. I put the comm on auto and leaned back into my   
   chair, fixing my full attention on his story.   
      
    "It all started in the general assembly right before the war," he said.   
   "The Satharians were miffed because of Ted Turner XXXIV and his holographic   
      
   imaging colorization of something called 'I Love Lucy.'  I think it had   
   something to do with a red-haired puritan axe-murder.  Anyways, distribution   
   in the outer-rim was poor, and the Saths were literally shedding skin over it."   
      
   He leaned back in the chair with a gracefulness I had not seen in ages, picking   
   up his tea spoon and twirling it with exaggerated movements.  Anything to break   
      
    "It all seemed like a small interplanetary riot, you know, the kind that never   
   gets any press anymore. Then that goody-goody MORDEN stepped in," He quick   
   snorted and wiggled his nose contemptuously. "He promised the lizards he   
   would acquire the rights to the shows and air them nationally. But instead   
   he packed up the Saths' national treasury, stole the prime ministers wife,   
   knocked off two holoburger stands, and, dear God, slandered the good name   
   of the acquitted sports hero Orangutan Jumper Sampson..."   
      
    I shook my head, remembering it well. "And that's when the proverbial guano   
   hit the gliding rotisserie blades..." I said.   
      
    "You guessed it," he continued.  "Everyone went berserk, buying ships, weapons   
   and other stuff.  Interplanetary systems dissolved, governments collapsed, and   
      
   all-out chaos ensued. And that was just from the media coverage alone!"   
    "People started colonizing planets everywhere, trying to get a foothold of   
   power. Dr. Scholl became a billionaire! But the thing about it was nothing was   
   sacred," he said.  "People were invading people, taking planets, and wasting   
   each other just for kicks. It got so you had to hide in a sun's corona just   
   to get some sleep."   
      
    "But that's when all the new developed technology started coming about," I   
   interjected.  "You know, booby-trapping derelict ships, laying mines, massive   
   production of defense installations, trade routes and other stuff."   
      
    "Not to mention the illicit beaming of 'Sweatin' to the Oldies' onto command   
   bridges playback consoles," he said.   
      
   I shuddered.  Truly a fate worse than death...   
      
    "And that wasn't even the worst of it," the curly-haired alien said.  "What   
   about those distinguished few, ROGUE, SYSOP, MORPH and others; the real nuts!   
   They sneaked around with weird aliases and thought no one would notice...."   
      
    "Yeah, some real unholy alliances came about because of this war," I said as I   
   read my tactical display, looking for SPACE PIRATES.  " And with the new   
   increased galactic size, there's going to be a LOT more space to hide in.   
      
    Suddenly, the ship rocked with an explosion!  Red alerts resounded across my   
   bridge. "And shut that blasted noise off!" came a command. From the back of my   
   mind twas some weird English-accented old man's voice. My alien copilot looked   
   at me as if he had read my mind.   
      
    "JEAN-LUC!" we said in unison. The alien started to reach under the dash for   
   the General Foods International Coffees, when another burst knocked him from   
   his chair.   
      
    "Darn!" I screamed, grabbing the joystick like it was the last Pina Colada in   
   Tahiti.  I targeted the pirates with my newly-installed Photon Cannons, and   
   blew them 10 levels past Hades.   
      
    I started to let myself relax, but I noticed something peculiar.  The graceful   
   alien had been knocked out of his seat and was being jostled about the cabin   
   . But he was moving now, on his feet, and it looked like he was supposed to be   
   walking forward, but instead he was moving backward.   
      
    "Just Beat me, just Beat me...." he murmured.   
      
    I started reaching for my hand-phaser, slowly and cautiously. He spun around   
   and stopped so abruptly I thought the gravity simulators were off line.   
      
    "You wouldn't happen to have any peanut butter and bananas lying around here,   
   would you?" he queried.   
      
   I screamed and hit the floor, grabbing my weapon.  But the Prince (God help us)   
   slid over to me like a greased proton beam and wrenched it from my hand.   
      
    "So, you figured it out, huh?" said the Prince.   
      
   I stared at him, aghast. He just smiled that weird-smile of his; it was like   
   something out of an old beach flick.   
      
    "Yeh, it's me. One of my daddy's old fans set me free from the suspended   
   animation chamber.  And wouldn't you know it, after my daddy, Michael, and my   
   momma, Lisa-Marie, hid all the Terran currency some years ago after collecting   
   it from owning rights to just about everything (gasp); I'm quite rich! But I   
   thought it would be nice to put some Thriller into your life by stealing your   
   ship."   
      
    He started to laugh; it was a ghostly, haunting laugh, and made him throw back   
   his head.  I took the initiative and pushed his skinny 80-pound body across   
   the floor, slamming him into the bulkhead. But he quickly recovered, and raised   
   the phaser. Click.   
      
    "Shoot!" he exclaimed, wrenching off the battery cover, the SupraVolts falling   
   to the ground.   
      
   I sprang forward, slamming my fist on to the escape pod eject button. The small   
   section of the ship he was in closed off and spewed forth into space, taking   
   the demon-spawned love-child with it. I made a silent prayer to a certain   
   bass drum-toting pink bunny.   
      
    Collapsing on to the console, I heaved a sigh of relief.  I sat up, entered   
   some random coordinates, and warped into space.  The war was getting bigger.   
      
   It was much more intense.  I was going to get my fair share of the...   
      
   FINAL FRONTIER II   
      
   (Final Frontier I was just a teaser...)   
      
                                 *    *    *   
      
   Think you're bad enough to survive this NEW, VASTLY IMPROVED version of Final   
   Frontier? No longer do you have to wait for the wusses on your board to show up   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)