XPost: alt.fan.heinlein, alt.tv.charmed, alt.fan.harry-potter   
   From: thekadeechaman@hotmail.com   
      
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   The Land Surfer News Archives   
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
   August 26 2001 - Sunday   
   G'day, wasn't last night huge ? We made a flag for the unicycle and have   
   started promoting the website. And didn't it give me inspiration. The   
   flag was on a whip like beastie hanging off the back of the uni and it   
   is a lot of fun to ride with. You can whip the posts with the flag by   
   doing massive twists on the uni as you go past, lots of fun. At one   
   point I found an empty water bottle sitting on the top of a post , it   
   took me four attempts, but I figured out how to swing my new tail to   
   knock the bugger off. Got it on the backswing , which is not nearly as   
   satisfying, but it was still great fun, the folks who were standing   
   nearby did think it looked fun, so coool...   
      
   Was talking to a group of people out the front on the boardwalk, you   
   know, I stopped and they asked me to do some tricks for them, anyway   
   finished up and proceeded on my way, when they yelled out to me to have   
   a crash on purpose. I like to oblige, one crash coming up. The group of   
   people in front of me blew out when I stepped off and thought I had had   
   a big crash, the group behind me were pissing themselves laughing, they   
   had asked for the crash. When they saw the people in front of me blowing   
   out, the laughter doubled in size. This kind of stuff happens all night.   
   And it was bloody funny...   
      
   Can't have a break sitting on top of my car, I parked out the front on   
   the beachside and I had stopped to have a can of vodka. Sitting on top   
   of the car watching the car guys go by and chatting with them as they   
   passed, in five minutes I had three groups of people pushing me to get   
   back on the uni and get back to work. Don't have this problem when I   
   stop in a coffee shop for a break. But it is funny sitting on the car   
   and talking to the folks. The girls that were parked next to me left me   
   a stubbie to drink when they left, so all in all, it was a pretty nice   
   time...   
      
   Had a couple of girls come up to me last night to apologise for running   
   the light down on the highway on Friday night. They overshot the white   
   line when the light went red and were concerned that I was blown away as   
   I took evasive action. What lovely girls, thank you very much for your   
   concern. I explained to them that I wasn't freaked out , I was more   
   blown away that they cared enough about me to come up and apologise. A   
   fantastic feeling...   
      
   Saw a police car take the corner with the crossing on the corner of   
   Cavill and Orchard Avenues, he had his siren and lights on, and they did   
   have a serious problem in one of the cabs up the street. But I just   
   don't think that the speeds involved were necessary, there are a lot of   
   intoxicated people in the street at that time of night and what those   
   coppers were doing was downright foolhardy and extremely dangerous.   
   Quite a few people at the time remarked that if someone was on that   
   crossing , they would have been dead. I drive for a living, and my   
   driving record is very good, and I can tell you that I would NEVER, EVER   
   attempt that corner at that speed with the drunks on the street. Shame   
   on you guys, you did our town a disservice. You made us look very   
   sloppy, and very dangerous. If you want to play with peoples lives ,   
   then go and join the traffic branch of the service and you can get your   
   jollies scaring the living shit out of joe public. Don't be f**king   
   idiots and drive like maniacs through a pedestrian zone. All in all,   
   f**king dumb...   
      
   Had some fun with Robert James, you know the flamenco guitarist that   
   plays in Cavill Avenue ? While it was quiet, he was playing some   
   beautiful music while I danced on the Land Surfer (unicycle). We must   
   try this on stage one day, it felt awesome. The guy has soul, I kind of   
   give up my will to dance with his music as I go past, and we play with   
   it a little. Sometimes I have almighty crashes, the music comes to a   
   crescendo and I have nowhere to go and come down in a heap. Sometimes I   
   don't pick the changes up, you get a little involved with the music and   
   forget that you're actually perched on top of something. But without a   
   doubt, last night , Robert had me doing turns that I thought were   
   downright impossible, just f**king lovely. Thanks loads man...   
      
   Had a good time with the posts in the mall , I was doing some of that   
   high speed Land Surfer slalom racing and shouldering the posts as I went   
   past. You've got to give it to it , which means getting a bit physical.   
   I was really thumping the posts with my shoulders as I went past, trying   
   to shave the absolute edge off the corners. Bloody great fun...   
      
   Something else that is fun, roll a spliff, light it up and then ride   
   through the crowd. On the footpaths where the crush gets a bit thicker,   
   the ride becomes really interesting, and in truth, this is where you   
   really learn how to ride a unicycle ( sorry - Land Surfer ). Smoking a   
   spliff while you manouver through the crowd at walking pace , dodging   
   from side to side and darting through the gaps is just awesome. Someone   
   said last night that you actually see where I'm going now that I've got   
   a flag on the back. It used to be , I would dissappear in the crowd   
   after getting around say four people. You get some interesting reactions   
   as you come upon people in the middle of the crowd, needless to say if   
   you are smoking a spliff as you ride through, the reactions become even   
   more interesting. Life should be interesting, so go hard you bastards...   
      
   Got asked an interesting question, what interesting and strange places   
   have you had sex in ?   
      
   Thought about it a bit and here's your answer.   
      
   In a lift, on a cruise liner.   
      
   The front seat of a ladies car while parked in the Toowong cemetery. (   
   This had something to do with a bet I made with myself, I won the bet)   
      
   On the beach at Marcoola.   
      
   In the middle of Malanda Falls park.   
      
   In the waterfall at Malanda.   
      
   On the white line in the middle of the road in Malanda. ( It was 4 am,   
   the milk truck came through and we didn't move, we were kind of horny)   
      
   In the back yard when the moon was full. ( The house behind us was on   
   top of the hill and overlooked us. Guy and his wife would both sit on   
   their verandha on moonlit nights. Wonder why ? )   
      
   On top of a grave.   
      
   In a ladies toilet at the pub. ( Spectators can be a problem here. But   
   they didn't complain to management. In fact they kept coming back with   
   more friends. Women are much different to men, or are they ? )   
      
   On a bed. ( Hey ? What's so strange about a bed ? We'd been spotting   
   hash all afternoon, and myself and a lady friend were attempting to have   
   sex, with emphasis on attempting, when I got a tap on my shoulder.   
   Looked down and there is a guy laying underneath the lady that I'm   
   laying on top of. We were whacked out of our heads, and it ended up as a   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)