From: GDHDTHSHS@SDSRSF.COM   
      
   From a multiple email:   
      
      
   Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience   
   with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week   
   to   
   do  her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd   
   always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the   
   middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"   
   (Bournemouth Evening Echo)   
      
      
   Why We Like The British - FROM BRITISH NEWSPAPERS   
      
   1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas   
   bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high   
   for   
   the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas   
   used   
   up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily   
   Telegraph)   
      
   2) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole   
   salami in   
   her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing   
   her   
   Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)   
      
   3) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van,   
   because   
   they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they   
   don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)   
      
   4) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth   
   was   
   rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman   
   commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)   
      
   5) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and   
      
   asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he   
   didn't   
   have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his   
   Land   
   Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)   
      
   6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience   
   with   
   her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to   
   do   
   her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd   
   always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the   
      
   middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"   
   (Bournemouth Evening Echo)   
      
   A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made   
   to   
   their passengers...   
      
   1) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a   
   security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for   
   the   
   foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time   
   together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a   
   wall.....'."   
      
   2) "We are now travelling through Baker Street... As you can see, Baker   
   Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me,   
   so I   
   could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like   
   that".   
      
   3) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these   
   professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a   
   registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."   
      
   4) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause .) "Oh go on then,   
   stuff   
   yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."   
      
   5) "Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..)   
        "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...)   
        "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing   
   glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down four-eyes, and move   
   your   
   bl**dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove   
   them   
   up your a**e sideways!"   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)