XPost: alt.conspiracy, alt.conspiracy.microsoft, alt.conspiracy.right-wing   
   XPost: alt.fan.art-bell, alt.military.air-cadets, alt.military.uk   
   From: oberleutnant@hotmail.com   
      
   I am selling a home built Time Machine. Comes with all specifications,   
   instruction manual (in pdf format), spare parts and a cup holder. I've   
   only   
   used it 2 times, and I have no desire to alter the history nor the future,   
   thus I want to get rid of this curse I had built in my mom's basement 1   
   year   
   ago. The project begun 4 years ago with my friend Raymond Basoon who used   
   to   
   work at Area 51 and is currently employed at JPL. We both have degrees in   
   engineering, interior design, strong typing skills and janitorial   
   expertise.   
   When employed at Area 51, Raymond was an assistant to the surgeon general   
   during 7 Alien autopsies, and also reverse engineered 2 types of crashed   
   extra terrestrial, cigar shaped aircraft. I had worked at JPL as well,   
   having been assigned to a crucial position in the mail room. After hours   
   of   
   collaboration, Raymond and I concocted plans to built a Time Machine. One   
   unit only. It is built of Titanium, stainless steel and rubber. The   
   complex   
   mathematics needed to calculate various time distortion cycles and   
   dimension   
   warps are handled by an onboard computer mounted at eye level. The time   
   and   
   date is punched in using a standart telephone numeric pad. Power is   
   generated from 30 electric motors that have been removed from 10 spd   
   blenders. The traveler is enclosed in a plastic/tin foil cockpit to   
   prevent   
   various dimension radiation waves and time travel fallout dust. The frame   
   holds a comfortable polyester chair. The unit also includes a CD Player   
   and   
   3 speakers. This unit is INCREDIBLE! If you want to wintess your own   
   birth,   
   the murder of your uncle or the opening of Expo '86, this delicate, high   
   tech instrument will blow your mind. I'm not sure this type of technology   
   is   
   legal therefore before you buy you have to sign a waver of confidence and   
   secrecy. I just want to be safe from the CIA and the NSA. If you like to   
   travel,   
   the ultimate trip is waiting for you in my garage. SERIOUS replies only   
   please. If you are interested in the purchase please send a statement of   
   good health and eye sight signed by your doctor. WE DO NOT DELIVER.   
   Knowledge of Martial Arts helpfull when travelling. Please reply if you   
   are   
   interested in the purchase.   
      
   Price  $59, 000   
   3 day warranty.   
   Free bumper sticker   
   2 hour tutorial   
   I'll also throw in my helmet.   
      
   Reply to Joe Biffel.   
      
   Disclaimer..... Joe Biffel or Raymond Basoon are not in any way   
   responsible   
   for any harm that might come to the travellers way while in the past or   
   the   
   future. The potential traveller must remember that during the passing   
   times,   
   society and culture has changed in many ways and this might impact the   
   perception of yourself by others. We suggest that you research the time   
   era   
   you're about to travel to thoroughly and dress appropriately to avoid   
   suspision and trouble.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)